Brisbane-based freelance writer, mental health advocate and author of the recently realized ‘Reasons to Live’ suicide prevention book, Jas Rawlinson is also a supporter of Collective Shout.
On her ‘Thoughts from Jas’ blog, she has written a very personal piece about her fears for her little boy, given the predatory nature of the global sex industry and its harmful effects on the developing sexual templates of young people. In this extract, she cites my encounter with a 15-year-old Tom in which he shared the impact of porn on his life – and why he chose to stop consuming it.
…What eats away at my soul the most, however, is the blinding ignorance to the everyday slow and toxic corruption of male innocence.
…the brainwashing of young men to view women as sexual objects for their own gratification — particularly, via the sex industry’s continued assault on our public spaces.
We talk a lot in society about sexist attitudes and men’s entitlement to women. Everyone is quick to point out that ‘violence toward women starts with disrespect.’
Yet so few seem willing to make the connection between pornography and toxic attitudes toward women and girls — let alone the impact that early exposure to pornography is having on the mental health of our young men.
This was made evident to me in a heartbreaking account from a then-14-year-old boy named Tom, who last month, shared of the ways in which pornography had slowly but surely ‘embedded its parasitic ways into his brain’ since the age of 12 — eventually leading him to what had become a daily addiction.
In a heartfelt email shared with Author, Speaker and Women’s Rights campaigner Ms. Melinda Tankard Reist — who he credits for ‘saving his life’ after hearing her speak at a conference in 2017 — the now 15-year-old student explained the toll that pornography had taken on his life.
“I was not aware of the how it would dramatically affect my brain and the way I thought. I simply thought [pornography] was another way to enjoy myself.”
“My heart is all about kindness and justice in the world, and making it a better place. I find this more important than anything…[but due to my addiction] I could not stop thinking [sexually] about women in public and with my friends (especially girls),” Tom shared honestly, in his email to Ms. Tankard Reist.
“…I would want to constantly talk about sexual things or think about them. I hated the way I thought. However when I watched it my addiction was too strong and my self discipline was not high enough to stop.
“After your talk I swore to never associate myself with pornography again, and I told myself that this is not who I am, and that I will spend my life fixing it. If it had not been for you, my addiction may never have ended and my relationships would be ruined and my mindset.”
Ms Tankard Reist says that Tom’s exposure to pornography at such a young age, and subsequent addiction, is not unique to teenage boys.
Tragically, she says, in countries such as the UK, pornography recovery clinics are being established for boys ‘as young as 8 and 9,’ with many of these boys now ‘suffering depression, anxiety, sleeplessness and requiring psychological care.’
“I am hearing from more and more young men whose lives have been harmed by compulsive porn use” – Melinda Tankard Reist
“I am also hearing from growing numbers of parents whose little boy was exposed to porn when they weren’t even looking for it, for example, while searching their favourite cartoon character or while playing online games pitched to children as young as 7.
“The most popular genres of porn are those with the most violence,” explains Ms. Tankard Reist. “Boys are coming across rape porn, sadism porn, torture porn, incest porn…often at first exposure. There is no way they will develop healthy attitudes about women and girls when this is their formative environment.”
See also:
‘Never Again? Addressing Sexual Violence Must Include Pornography’, MTR
“Why Australia Should Follow France’s Lead on ‘Degrading’ Sexist Advertising”, MTR
These books will help you porn-proof your child. Special offer!
