“He Chose Porn Over Me”: Women hurt by men who use porn

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“He chose porn over me. It’s what he chose over me every day for 11 years. Porn killed my marriage. It killed my trust. It destroyed my sense of self and understanding of true intimacy” – Courtney

This quote is from Courtney’s searing lament over the loss of her husband to porn.

In the opening contribution to He Chose Porn Over Me, Courtney describes the collective agony of growing numbers of women living with habitually porn consuming men.

The 25 women in this book were collateral damage in their partner’s insatiable greed for porn. Their stories tell of the crushing of intimacy, respect, connection, love. Porn colonised their union, their families and homes, seeped into every aspect of their lives, leaving women rejected and scarred.

Their partners chose to consume the abuse of women and children on their phones and laptops, seeming not to care when they lost their families as a result.

Occasionally a book comes along that changes the way we think about the world.

“He Chose Porn Over Me”: Women Harmed by Men Who Use Porn” is such a book. Reading the stories of women whose partners chose porn is both heart breaking and enraging, and can no longer be ignored.

This book should light a fire under the anti-porn movement so we organize to rid the world of this misogynist, multi-billion- dollar predatory industry. Women deserve no less!

Gail Dines PhD., Professor Emerita of Sociology, President: Culture Reframed

This confronting book dares to tell the truth about pornography – about the men who consume it and the women and children harmed by it. Women were subjected to what was essentially sexual terrorism in their own homes. The men, turbo-charged by pornography, were intoxicated by sexualised power.

The women who tell their distressing stories are now rebuilding their lives. They found a confidante in Melinda Tankard Reist who has supported them to share their experiences, in the hope that other women won’t have to live through the horrors they have.

He Chose Porn Over Me is intended as a warning to young women: Why choose to walk into hell?

It is also a permission-giving book: women should not have to sacrifice their lives for a man who shows no desire to choose her over porn.

In her seventh book, writer, speaker and campaigner Melinda Tankard Reist brings us this unique collection of raw and vulnerable accounts. While their pain is at times visceral, the inner strength and spirit of the women who make this book also shines through. As does their care for other women, reflected in personal advice offered at the end of each chapter.