First, we want to thank you for your stated commitment to ending men’s violence against women and children. We waited a long time for men to come on board and join us in this fight for real equality and justice, and you have pledged to do just that. We thank you for talking the talk. We write today to plead with you now to walk the walk in more obvious ways.
Right from Day One of this year, 1 January 2011, media reports reminded us that the slaughter of women and children is continuing unabated.
On New Year’s Day, in Canley Vale in Sydney’s west, a 32-year-old man was arrested and placed under police guard at Liverpool hospital. When police arrived at the block of units, they found a 24-year-old woman with stab wounds to her stomach and shoulder on the stairwell. Her partner had barricaded himself in the unit with their 2-year-old daughter. The police broke in and arrested the man and found the 2-year-old unconscious. She later died of stab wounds at the Westmead Children’s Hospital.
Also on New Year’s Day, in what the media called a murder/suicide, a man in the Northern Territory shot his wife with a crossbow and then set the house on fire. The bodies of the victim and the perpetrator were later found in the burnt-out houses.
As the year proceeded, there were many more reports of men’s hideous violence against their partners. On 19 September, NRL player Robert Lui pushed his partner Taleah Rae Backo in the chest, causing her to fall backwards. He pulled her hair so hard that some of it came out in his hand. While she was on the ground, he kicked her repeatedly in the head causing bruising and swelling to the left temple. Lui was subsequently charged with assault occasioning actual bodily harm and released on bail. And that was not the first time Robert Lui had been charged with violence against his partner.
We recognise that, as White Ribbon Ambassadors, your role in stopping men’s violence is crucial, so we are pleading with you today to do more to stop the slaughter of women and children. It’s one thing to wear a white ribbon, to stand up on White Ribbon Day and declare that you are men who abhor the violence of other men, but it’s quite another thing to take practical and determined steps to stop it. We know it’s a difficult task, but we’re depending on you, because we know that violent men are much more likely to listen to you than to us.
In 2008, the Federal Government under Prime Minister Kevin Rudd funded the White Ribbon Foundation to the tune of $1 million for four years to expand into rural and regional areas. In light of the continuing slaughter of women and children both in the city and the bush, we are seriously wondering how that money is being spent. If government funding doesn’t result in fewer murders and less violence by men against women and children, then surely the Australian White Ribbon movement must be called to account.
We, feminists with decades of experience in research and activism in the area, stand ready to work with you, and would welcome any request from you to work in partnership. We know you will agree with us that, with men’s violence against women and children escalating year-by-year, the matter is extremely urgent.
Sincerely,
Dr Betty McLellan
for a Coalition of Feminist Voices
8 Responses
I’m not sure that the repeated use of the word “slaughter” is helpful here. I suspect that, if it makes me look sideways at my screen, it’s going to make a lot of men very defensive and indeed may just cause them to stop reading and miss the message (what exactly is the message?) of the letter. I *think* Dr McLellan is asking for men to speak out and actually stop other men from doing this stuff, or tell them it’s not okay or something – perhaps specifics would have been better – we all know that most men prefer a direct approach, rather than hints.
We have seen that a lot of men feel very attacked by the campaign itself and approaches like this – perhaps we’re getting offside the very people we need to help. I speak from personal experience when I say that violence against women, particularly in the home, is abhorrent and never acceptable, but it is perpetrated by a minority of men, not all, not even most. Perhaps it’s time to tone down the rhetoric and have a sensible conversation, where we talk about stopping violence of all kinds against all people – men, women, children, gay, lesbian, straight – no matter the race or religion, we are all people with human rights.
To violence against people in general, Australia says “NO”,
Excellent letter – we really need more action not just words!
Wholeheartedly agree with all comments, but also acknowledge that the issues are more complex than saying stop the violence. The context for violence against women and children is a mish mash of culture, religion, tradition, environment, and biochemistry of course. So, in some countries of the world, “honour” killing is acceptable, or causing disfigurement to a female who rejects a male’s formal advances. In some countries of the world, a woman who shows too much of her body on the street can end up being in custody and subject to a court sanctioned beating, or just the notion that females should be educated can lead to females being kidnapped and beheaded. Yet, in more so-called civilised countries of the world, females have the freedom to make careers in the pornography industry, as sex workers, doing semi-nude modelling and so-called racy commercial and advertisements, get totally blind drunk and be promiscuous with mutliple lovers – while of course confuses many testosterone-fuelled males who justify their physical or sexual agression on the basis that she had it coming, or she likes it that way (and it is not helped in cases where females get off on such behaviour). Regardless, it doesn’t really matter in what context physical, verbal or sexual abuse of women and children occurs – it is simply wrong, in the same way that violence to anybody is wrong. Its gutless, its dishonourable, its criminal, and many other things But it will always be there. How you fix the violence mind-set without ridding the world of every male or ripping the testosterone out of their bodies is the big question. (Yikes!, did I just say that as a male?).
How dare feminists talk publicly about systemic male violence against women. Don’t we women know that men’s interests and demands come first and ours – well we don’t have any rights or demands do we? Instead it is men first or even ‘people’ first because we women mustn’t name the problem or even hold men accountable for their continuing violence and enactment of male domination over women.
Strange though it might be to some individuals but lesbians are first and foremost female as are female children and collapsing everyone into ‘people’ ensures that male violence against women is kept hidden out of sight and certainly out of mind.
Then there’s that problem of ‘upsetting men’s feelings’ because we feminists mustn’t upset men must we? No we mustn’t make men uncomfortable or remind them they are the problem not women. No we must constantly put our demands and rights to one side because men’s feelings are far more important than the right of all women and girls globally not to be routinely subjected to male violence just because we happen to be born female and according to male supremacist doctrine are ‘dehumanised beings.’
But there is a very good reason for not ‘seeing the elephant in the room’ because it ensures men do not have to take long hard look at how they continue to hold power and control over women and how male supremacist system operates to maintain men’s domination over women. Telling the truth about male violence against women will ‘upset the boys’ but it has to be publicly stated that male violence against women is endemic globally and globally justified/minimalised/excused because men must never be held accountable for their actions against women. The dominant group – aka men never like being told they are responsible for maintaining male domination over women. Whereas we women are expected to remain silent and submissive because we must never voice our anger and rage at men’s violence being committed against us. No instead we are expected to remain silent and become martyrs because challenging men is so threatening to the male status quo.
Well we’ve had enough of men’s platitudes and claims ‘but we men too are subjected to violence’ as if men are routinely dehumanised and held in contempt by women. No as always if the issue isn’t about men and their demands; their claims; their pseudo rights – then there is no issue – particularly when the issue concerns the majority of the human race who last time I checked are women not men and it is women who form the majority of the human race.
The men who claim to be members of White Ribbon Campaign enjoy the publicity and attention they receive from malestream media but when it comes to doing the hard and often dangerous work of challenging and holding men accountable for not standing up and saying ‘enough – we men will no longer remain silent or be bystanders which ensures male domination over women continues unabated.
Well I’m still waiting for these men of the White Ribbon Campaign to ‘walk the walk’ and not just keep uttering platitudes and being awarded ‘cookies’ by women who think men talking; talking and constantly talking is the answer, when these self-same men do nothing else but talk. That is precisely how male supremacist system operates by pretending to listen to women’s views and experiences and then doing precisely nothing. Or rather making a few tiny adjustments so a token number of women are accorded prestige but as always it is on men’s terms and the male supremacist system remains unchanged.
I don’t plead with these men – I demand they ‘walk the walk’ and cease uttering useless platitudes.
Congratulations on pointing out the need for men in particular to take real action in stopping men’s violence towards women.
While the White Ribbon campaign has some merits, it lacks focus on providing opportunities for men to consider practical ways to stop the violence. It is easy to want the violence to stop, but much harder to do things that result in real prevention.
No To Violence Male Family Violence Prevention Association was pleased to launch on Friday ’16 Actions, 16 Days’, coinciding with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, a resource for all men to undertake actions on a range of levels that seek to inform and engage all men in stopping violence against women. Violence against women does not exist in the abstract but is founded on entrenched senses of entitlement, sexism, misogyny and patriarchy. If we aren’t taking real action to address the enormous gender imbalances in our communities, then simplistic calls to stop the violence remain intangible and ineffective. Wearing a ribbon doesn’t automatically lead to the end of the violence, real action does.
Men as a collective group are not evil. Individual men have the potential to do abhorrent things (and individual men have done abhorrent things, they’re on record), but my faith in humanity reminds me that not all men deliberately wish harm on women.
Likewise for Women as a collective group. A lot of people on either side of the debate just want equality. I support this. But if this battle is going to descend into eye-for-an-eye crap, then the cost is too high.
“The question that led to us to found the Pink Helmets was `do we really have to mistreat women to be men?”
Walking the talk in Ecuador …
http://www.unwomen.org/2011/11/espanol-los-jovenes-lideran-la-lucha-por-la-igualdad-y-contra-la-violencia-de-genero-en-ecuador/
Could you see this happening in Australia?
you thank white ribbon for their stated commitment…..
really, why do they need thanks, if a person does the right thing, they know it within themselves and to be acknowledged can even be seen to detract from the virtue.
the recent white ribbon propaganda, some debate about whether men or women are more the victims of domestic violence. remember? they are worried to resort to something so lacking in substance and relevance.
it’s beat up, much like their statistics, consider, if a woman strikes a man, like my girlfriend was put in a situation where she’s hit out at me. people incited her to do that, their intention to provoke me to be hostile in response. they failed.
violence against men and women is different. my girlfriend went for me, i was happy that she was safe, doing that to me, there were no consequences. if she lost it in public, with a stranger say, well, that could be complicated. she whacks me, that’s safe.
the inverse is so not comparable. if i strike or even raise my hand to my girlfriend, even just raising my voice is in there. if that happens, then the safety of the relationship is compromised, really, i don’t know if it’s something that could be regained, certainly not easily.
i’m not being sexist, sometimes it is still sugar and spice and puppy dog tails.
look, you talk like white ribbon are about stopping violence against women, for all their statistics, when did white ribbon stop violence against women?
to just accept that, just cause they say it? it must be true? for all their horror statistics of harm being done to women, which is obviously bad, a safe platform for them to use, but how is that virtuous?
look, i’ve seen another side of white ribbon, the wolf in sheeps clothing, the guy in the santa claus suit, the ultimate predator, disarming, beguiling and alluring. certain predators who target the most vulnerable to commit crimes of abuse, to feed their sadistic psychopathy, that they’re noted for attaining positions of authority, trust and influence. take priests, politicians, judges, teachers, boy scout leaders, we’ve seen predators attaining those roles for ulterior purposes for many years. so the thing is, white ribbon are okay are they, we can just know that and trust them?
take a long hard look at it. are there ambassadors who have a penchant for working with children say, things of that nature, what’s their form really, check out the background.
cause i happen to know, sure whatever they say they’re are, i’ve seen something different. they want to appear as virtuous, that you cannot fault, criticize or scrutinize them without coming under attack as if you have been violent to women. i’ve caught the ribbon in no uncertain terms covertly promoting violence against women to suit their own ends. and work it out, cause it’s a certain form, from domestic violence you get vulnerable children.
i notice, white ribbon are big on “educating young men and boys”, no alarm bells there? i’ve seen white ribbon hurting women, running from the responsibility, lying to protect each other, just caught up in their little play acts of vigilante, white ribbon to the rescue.
then that ambassador ran back to his old job, surprise, working with children.
support white ribbon at your peril, people are starting to notice. there is more, much more to this terrible story, it’s disturbing, so disturbing that it’s almost too hard to grasp. like adolf hitler said, the biggest lies are the easiest to tell. that ribbon are so outrageous, people don’t notice or belive they are so contrary to their purported purpose. all the same, the train is coming.
and white ribbon are an international…….. organisation