Today, a guest blog post from my friend and Collective Shout colleague Melinda Liszewski, affectionately known as ‘The Other Melinda’. Melinda has been a long time campaigner against the objectification of women. She is fondly known as the young woman who took on Blokesworld in 2005 – an event celebrating everything men love, e.g. fast cars, alcohol and semi naked women – and through her dynamic grassroots activism – including getting sponsors to pull out – succeeded in having it shut down. Melinda turned up to the Brisbane showgrounds with her baby, some mates and a protest sign to find it boarded up. This was pre-Collective Shout days, but certainly a forerunner of actions to follow. Melinda’s actions inspired many other women to publicly protest and make their voices heard.
In what seems to be an admission and acceptance by the world that rape and men’s sport go hand in hand, the media has reported that a South African woman has unveiled what has been called the ‘anti-rape’ female condom “just in time for the world cup.”
The ‘Rape-aXe’ female condom is designed to be inserted into the woman’s vagina. If a man rapes her, tiny hooks on the inside of the condom will latch onto his penis causing him significant pain. If the man attempts to remove the condom, it will become tighter causing even more pain. Apparently, the condom can only be removed by a doctor. It is hoped that by the time a doctor is removing the condom, the authorities will be on the scene and able to make an arrest.
The premise behind this product is that it is the woman’s responsibility to prevent rape, a sentiment that is all too common in our society. Why was she wearing that? She shouldn’t have been walking alone, she was intoxicated, she went back to his home willingly. There is an endless list of ways in which men are absolved of responsibility for rape. It is accepted that rape is inevitable, so us women had better make sure we avoid being the target. Aside from having to take self-defense classes, avoid going out alone or at night, not drink alcohol, wearing clothes that are too tight, too short or otherwise ‘provocative,’ we now have the option of inserting a product with tiny hooks into our vaginas to further ‘deter’ men who rape. Is this what we’ve come to?
Would it not be more just and more effective to place the responsibility to stop rape where it belongs? With men?
The woman who created the product, seems to have genuine intentions. A South Africa doctor in a country where 1 in 4 men admit to having committed rape, Dr Sonnette Ehlers created the ‘Rape-aXe’ after having to treat a victim of rape four decades ago. Obviously this experience affected her deeply. She sold her belongings to fund the product’s development.
Critics have claimed the product is ‘medieval’ and Dr Ehlers agrees: “Yes my device is medieval, but it’s for a medieval deed that has been around for decades,” she told CNN. “I believe something’s got to be done, and this will make some men rethink before they assault a woman.”
She’s right about one thing, something does have to be done. Many things have to be done. The values and attitudes that lead to rape, that are perpetuated in our society are mediaeval and yet all too common. When will these be challenged?
Images of women who are objectified and desperate for sex wallpaper our society. Violence against women is eroticized; rape is something to joke about.
In 2009, Roger David came under fire for producing shirts with images that appeared to be of women who had experienced violence.
At the same time, it was revealed that a number of clothing retailers are selling shirts which make a joke out of rape.
Even clothing designed for little girls sends a message that they are sexually interesting.
Sometimes the eroticization of sexual violence is a little more obvious.
Then of course there are the magazines on display everywhere you shop, that send a message about what women are for.
Music videos on TV on Saturday mornings consistently portray women as half dressed and hyper-sexed.
These are just a few examples. It is little wonder then that rape myths abound – women always want sex, sometimes no means yes, women provoke rape, rape isn’t that big a deal.
One of the outcomes of rape myths is that rape goes grossly under-reported. Women don’t report rape because they don’t think the police will believe them, they fear being blamed or they don’t feel as though their case is serious enough for police.
We don’t need another way for women to avoid rape. We need men to stop raping women. We need to create an ‘anti-rape culture.’ A culture that acknowledges women as people and not ‘sex toys.’ A culture that holds men accountable for their choice to rape women.
8 Responses
GO MEL! Well said!
Well done on posting Melinda! I do think, however, that the need for an anti-rape culture does not exclude the immediate need for self-defense type strategies for women who are incredibly vulnerable. Certainly there should never be a blame-the-victim mentality, and I abhor blame-the-victim language BUT changing culture ( particularly somewhere like South Africa) is going to take time… in the interim, surely women should be able to access tools they see as providing protection? I am not saying I think a barbed condom is the answer, yet I don’t think we can throw out the entire “make yourself a harder target” argument in this instance which you seem to be doing?
I doubt you’d get any argument from the Dr who invented this product about reforming a culture that brutalises women. But I guess she is just tired of seeing the short-term impact of male brutality in her country ?
Are we at risk here of putting forward our white-middle-class judgements rather than empathising with the plight of desperate women who are in desperate immediate peril?
I think Danielle makes a very good point. It’s so easy for us, we don’t live in fear of being raped every night as we walk home from work, or of our daughters being raped as they walk home from school.
In an ideal situation, this product would not exist. I think it is a SYMPTOM of how dire the situation is.
I think we need to recognise this and do what we can to continue to fight the good fight. I can’t imagine how awful it would be for these women, and while I also, “am not saying I think a barbed condom is the ANSWER,” I don’t think it is the QUESTION either. The real question is WHY someone would be so terrified of rape that they would invest in such a product.
Hi Rebecca and Dannielle,
Thanks for commenting on the article, this is an important issue to discuss.
I agree with you Rebecca, that the device is a symptom of how dire the situation is. Regarding what Dannielle has said, she’s right, the situation in South Africa is more dangerous than what I can imagine and women should do whatever they need to do in order to stay and feel safe. I’m certainly not critical of those women who choose to take self defence classes, or even use the condom. (gosh that makes me cringe). I’m concerned that my article may have come across as critical or judgemental in that regard and I need to stress that this was certainly not my intention. I wrote this article because I find it distressing that on top of all the other things women are doing to avoid being raped, now they this option as well. Distress is what I’m expressing when I ask “is this what we’ve come to?”
So I’m not saying that women shouldn’t take precautions, we have to deal with the reality. I’m expressing the injustice that we have to do this and how the responsibility is often put on women to avoid rape, rather than on men to stop committing rape.
Here is another interesting article which talks a little more about what lengths women go to. The sponge with razor blades makes the condom look like a better option! However Victoria Kajja, a fellow for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, points out that all of this, is a form of enslavement.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20008347-10391704.html
“Rape convictions are rare in most African countries, according to CNN. Victims don’t get immediate access to medical care, and DNA tests to provide evidence are too expensive.
Women take drastic measures to prevent rape in South Africa, Ehlers said. Some go so far as to insert razor blades wrapped in sponges in their private parts.”
Seriously Melinda Liszewski, you twist things around. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, what with all of the coverage on South Africa due to the World Cup, but crime rates are appalling in South Africa. Carjackings, home invasions, assault and robbery are commonplace and as you’ve mentioned the country has the highest rapes per capita on the planet. First, in this kind of environment, naturally people are going to do anything they can to protect themselves from these crimes.
You ask “Would it not be more just and more effective to place the responsibility to stop rape where it belongs? With men?”. Uh, how about better policing and programs to try and prevent what is happening here? To ask criminals to stop committing crime is pretty daft idea. It doesn’t get to the core of the problems here. It solves nothing at all.
Confusingly Melinda you say on one hand you say “there is an endless list of ways in which men are absolved of responsibility for rape” and suggest there is no real justification for it, which everyone would agree with. However you later go on to give examples and say “violence against women is eroticized; rape is something to joke about”. So what are you saying here? Crap t-shirts for bogans who I’ve never seen anyone wearing, or music videos cause rape? Sorry, who jokes about rape aside from the very few and rather obscure examples you have given here?
Here’s my problem; you say that there is no justification for sexual abuse against women, yet you seem to be using items in media to justify sexual abuse against women. Bit of a contradiction is it not? If a woman wearing a short skirt is no justification for rape, then how is a picture in a magazine of a woman in bikini justification? I’d say that you were making men “absolved of responsibility for rape”, which really baffles me. I think the anti-rape condom is pretty daft, but I also think asking victims of crime not to protect themselves and that the responsibility should lie with the criminals is absurd. I wonder how that attitude would go down with all of the victims of crime in South Africa?
Forever Malcolm Young –
It may be “daft” to ask criminals to stop committing crime – how about asking men to stop committing rape?
Easier said than done in a culture where men are saturated from childhood with imagery depicting women as perpetually sexually available, and rape is a joke on a bogan t-shirt (or in a Woody Allen movie if you prefer the more highbrow, he is only one of many comedians who looks to rape for material). You would never expect beautiful flowers to grow from toxic, poisoned soil – is is similarly ludicrous to expect responsible men to grow from boys who were planted and watered in a degraded culture. Conditioning is by no means an excuse for rape, but when rape is constantly excused by the culture it is no wonder that women long for vagina dentata.
As far as South Africa goes, the rape culture goes way further than the media. The president himself has faced a rape trial – do you really think that even if policing was the answer, that the police themselves are not perpetrators? Women would not need to be protected from rape, by police or anyone else, if men would simply NOT RAPE THEM. Of course it’s never that simple and Melinda is doing very good work identifying and rooting out some of the cultural rape enablers, and when she does surely our time and energy is better spent fighting the actual enemies which have been indentified and not her as she goes about this very important work?
If we were to agree with Forever Young Malcolm Young we would not hold male murderers in contempt because hey society cannot prevent men from murdering other men can it? So of course the focus must not be on the innumerable male perpetrators but on the female victims because it is always women who are held responsible for men’s violence committed against them.
Male supremacist society does not want accountability to be levied at men because this would mean shattering myths that women ‘provoke men to rape them’ or ‘women’s behaviour/clothing cause men to rape them.’
Sounds to me Forever Young Malcolm you are a rape apologist. According to your views we should not challenge racists because it is not white mens’ and white women’s problem but non-white women and non-white men. Racism will never be eliminated but it can certainly be challenged and the apologists/perpetrators held accountable for their actions.
Regarding South Africa whilst the issue of endemic male sexual violence against women and girls is a huge societal problem, we must not fool ourselves into think women’s lives in western society is much better.
Because of the mainstreaming of pornography, the sex industry’s widespread infiltration into popular culture. Malestream media misrepresentation of women and girls as men’s sexualised commodities. All of these reinforce dominant beliefs that women and girls are always responsible for provoking males to rape/inflict sexual violence on them.
I’ve lost count of hearing innumerable stories from young women telling me that when they visit bars and clubs young men subject them to sexual harassment, commit sexual assault/sexual violence against them. All because these men believe it is their right – so no women in western society are not ‘safer’ than women in South Africa. Just that male sexual violence against women and girls in western society often happens behind closed doors such as the home or in bars and clubs.
Hi Melinda, thanks for your article.
It is tragic that women feel so vulnerable in SA that they feel they need to invent/use an item like this. My initial concern when reading about it is that the pain caused would make the rapist angrier and more likely to be additionally violent. Scary stuff.
Malcolm Young – Of course a “bogan” t-shirt doesn’t MAKE someone rape, but the prevalance of these sexualised and violent/dominative images does normalise rape and sexual violence, making it seem like it’s not a big deal. If you are growing up surrounding by these images, that is making up a significant part of your sexual education. This is demonstrated through the sexual attacks being made increasingly by children of younger and younger ages.
A change in attitude is definitely needed. Men need to realise that being a man is about protecting women, not attacking them and loving them, not despising them.