OK, it’s not up there with the atrocities being inflicted on women everywhere at the moment, but I couldn’t help but comment on a piece in the Sunday Telegraph this past weekend.
“This is the best dress a woman can own”, declared the Tele in an EXCLUSIVE (caps in original) by Prue Lewington which took up almost all of page 26. This burgundy frock will, states Lewington (and I’m not making this up) “change your life.”
This incredible scoop about the frock which will “jag you a man, land you a job and make you shed five kilos….” was secured by Lewington alone. Journos all over the country must be seething that she snagged the story first.
The miracle fashion item which will give a woman all she could want in life, ticks all the boxes “according to experts in recruitment, dating and colour theory.” Wardrobe consultant at June Dally-Watkins, Dianne Cant, said it’s important not to “let any bits hang out”. The dress is perfect because it “highlights the good bits” and hides “the parts you don’t like.” And it’s modelled by a ‘plus size’ model (because God knows women over a size nothing need all the help they can get in the man stakes). Our so far unlucky-in-love purchaser discovers that if she forks out a mere $299 (budget cuts – what budget cuts?) on this love magnet apparel, she will be guaranteed to attract a man. (But what if you’ve already got a man? If you wear it does it mean you’ll end up with another man and have two men? Or what if you are perfectly happy single but like the dress? Will you end up swatting men away like flies?).
But what I really want to know is, if the dress is that good, will it also make dinner and do the washing up? Now that would be an exclusive.
8 Responses
Will it keep her safe too?
Dang… my armpit is the most attractive part of me (after the hair on my big toe).
I wonder if I can wear 2 and lose 10 kilos… it would be too good to be true.
*in search of a brick wall to slam my head into*
What a vacuous, superficial article. How about we teach girls to be strong and intelligent and not just consumed with their body image and how to snag a man? If a man doesn’t like and respect you, floppy bits and all, then he’s not worth having.
Just saw this advertised as a “story” on A Current Affair for tomorrow night. Seriously? (And no, I don’t regularly watch ACA – just trying to catch the beginning of The Voice! 🙂
How depressing. We need a frock to “hide” parts of ourselves in order to attain a man. Looks like the Tele’s approach to covering women’s issues is following the lead of our Minister for Women. Apparently we have it pretty good :/ I’m so glad we have a man in the role to tell us.
Misleading advertising. Exercise n cutting down on food consumption will make me look goid. Definitely not a dress!!
I remember this being in the news like 10 years ago. I wanna know where I can get the opposite – a dress that will keep men away from me – because quite frankly given the REAL news of late that’s a more pressing concern.
Somebody call the CSIRO! This is groundbreaking research! Thanks, Melinda – this gave me such a laugh!