Is any toy, game or even foodstuff safe from the stereotyped, homogenised, pinkified treatment of companies wanting to expand their markets to girls? Apparently not.
Think monopoly is too masculine? Never fear, the game now comes in a “boutique edition” with “cute” illustrations and a “beautiful keepsake box”. Instead of buying boring male-centric hotels, our little princesses can “go on a shopping spree” and buy “boutiques and malls”!
But wait, there’s more! The playing pieces include a handbag, mobile phone, sunglasses and Paris Hilton style pooch.
Pink, pastel, pearlescent scrabble. I’m not making this up:
“A timeless classic with a modern makeover, this pink SCRABBLE Deluxe Designer’s Edition has style, taste and elegant accessories like a pastel rotating gameboard, pearlescent letter tiles and embroidered fabric pouch. All the fashionable game pieces are designed with a woman in mind”
Because how can a young woman be expected to use her brains and create real words using real letters without the aid of pastel? As a further enticement, the maker’s have helpfully spelt out the word “Fashion” on the game’s box lid.
All that boutique buying and pearlescent letter word making will be making a girl well hungry by now. What to feed her?
Look no further than Fairy Hearts Ham: “Delicious slices of cooked sausage made from reformed Turkey and Pork” (anyone seen my pink vomit bucket?). Those gobblers and piggies with their bad pasts obviously were not re-formed enough – they still ended up as sausage – even more insulting, as pink love heart sausage.
Now she’s refreshed, our little fairy now has the energy to take a trip to the spirit world thanks to a Ouija board just for girls. Yes, the forces of darkness have had a stylish pink makeover so that a girl can conjure up the spirits of the dead to seek answers to the meaning of life, such as how popular she is, whether she will be famous one day and who wants to be just like her.
“It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday? Who wishes they could trade places with me?”
Perhaps a better question would be: will I be allowed just to enjoy being a girl free from the agendas of marketers?
Visit www.pinkstinks.co.uk
Read this article from the Guardian
One Response
Pink ham? PINK HAM???!!!!!!
I know I was supposed to get something else from this page, but PINK HAM? That is DISGUSTING. How many colours did they have to put in it to make it go from ham colour to love heart pink??!
*pukes in corner*