by Rebecca Mott
Prostitution is full of grief.
The grief of seeing a crossroad and always taking the wrong turning.
That is how I remember prostitution – that is how it is remembered through self-loathing and inability to see all choice was stolen from me, was stolen from all my prostituted Sisters.
It is easier to blame yourself for taking too many wrong turning – than to know a reality of mental and physical manipulation, of being trapped into hell in degrees.
How can the truth be seen and known, when it so gradual?
The trap is make the prostitute feel it is her choice to have more and more sadist acts done to her.
Make her feel it the only way to get decent money; tell her she more adventurous than other women; say she is special so punters ask for her; say it just a one-off; say it is a punishment and won’t happen again.
It is a drip-feed of making the prostitute lose feeling, driving her into at first shocked numbness leading into violence so routine she is dead but somehow alive.
I know that deadness, I still carry it as I remember, I still carry it into all my words on what prostituted meant to me.
I know what it was to be dead, but having to continue.
Deadness is the only to deal with living inside routine rapes – heck, rapes is too banal for what the average prostitute goes through.
There is a limited and inadequate for being raped thousands of times. How does language framed that?
How does language give back the body which had no safe place from sexual invasion?
Prostituted women and women are nuked into being sexual goods, for then they can survive by not feeling, not remembering they are human.
To be a prostitute, is to be goods, that is the simple truth.
Punters buy prostitutes as they would choose instant coffee in a supermarket. In the end all instant coffee is the same, but the label makes the buyer say there is a difference.
It is the same as punter choose between street prostitute or an escort, between getting the prostitute on the net or going to a brothel – in the end all whores are the same to the punters.
All whores are there for him to do whatever sexual porn fantasy he wants – the only difference like his instant coffee is how much cash he will put out to destroy her.
There is no passion, no connection and certainly no idea of having mutual sex, when a punter makes the choice to consume a prostitute.
It is all about his “needs”, his greed, his hate of the prostitute, his desire to have control, his need to own another human, and his ability to be violent without consequences.
If anyone has made the wrong turning – it is every single man in the world who make the choice to consume prostitutes for any reason.
There is no reason that is good enough for buying a prostitute – every punter can walk away from making that choice.
But instead of seeing the punter, all the blame is placed onto the prostitute for her wrong choices and making the wrong turns in the road.
All prostitutes are made to blamed for their own rapes, their own tortures and their own murders.
Even the few who are lucky enough to have limited violence – are made to know that sexual violence is just their norm, it is the risk of their lifestyle.
Ever since prostitution has existed, it has been decided that it is impossible to rape a prostitution, it is decided that you cannot torture a prostitute for it just extras or kinky sex – it is decided that no-crime to murder a prostitute.
This is embedded in all aspects of prostitution – prostitutes are made nothing but throwaway goods.
We are given no rights to feel or know the violence that is our know – we have all language of rights, all language of saying you can’t do that to us, all language of self-dignity stolen from us.
The prostituted are made speechless – and then we are told it must be our choice for we never complain or speak out.
But look into the silence – and see it is rage of the tortured.
3 Responses
How desperately sad!
I wonder how many prostitutes are the products of broken, dysfunctional families. I imagine a lot. And how many out of the desperation of squalor, see prostitution as their only hope? Whatever, I imagine most are eventually discarded, reduced to the worth of decaying flesh.
And I wonder how many children who are raised with love, acceptance and security, seek alternate “love” in whatever twisted, depraved form it appears? Not many, I imagine.
Not one of us can wash our hands as innocent. It’s too easy to blame the previous generation and yet we are the ones who permit the condition to continue.
No matter how insignificant it may seem, each of us can play a role in preventing this;
Raise our voices to bring about change in a society which accepts prostitution as normal, which glorifies the merciless trade in women’s bodies and glamorises its victims.
Raise the future generation, with generosity respect and love; girls to be valued, where there is no need to seek love outside of a secure relationship, and boys to acknowledge their roles as real men of valour and honour, characteristics which these days are considered almost irrelevant. A generation, where both contribute to society, instead of waging this war of domination and submission.
We may only need to raise our voice.
Reason for prostitution is not the result of ‘broken dysfunction families.’ That is another male supremacist/patriarchal lie.
Re-read RMOTT62’s article because she names the cause and I quote: It is all about his “needs”, his greed, his hate of the prostitute, his desire to have control, his need to own another human, and his ability to be violent without consequences.
If anyone has made the wrong turning – it is every single man in the world who make the choice to consume prostitutes for any reason.’
In other words it is men who enact their male pseudo sex right to female bodies which enables prostitution to continue. Male demand created prostitution because males claim they will spontaneously combust if they do not have regular sexual access to supposedly ‘female dehumanised beings!’
So claim dysfunctional families are somehow responsible is a blatant lie.
I would hardly call querying if prostitutes are the products of broken, dysfunctional families a male supremacist/patriarchal lie. There is almost always a history of some kind of emotional pain or abuse that leads to the devaluation of ones life to even contemplate prostitution as an option. MOST women would not even consider prostituting themselves regardless of the money involved. There is a psychological boundary that would not or could not be crossed. Prostitutes, strippers and other women in degrading jobs get to that point often by believing they are not worthy or capable of anything better or worthy of love. Just because there is a demand by men does not make them solely to blame. Yes personally I am disgusted in men who use prostitutes. I believe they often are sick, violent individuals who get off on degrading and/or abusing women. But there are also girls in uni who prostitute themselves to ‘make life sweeter’ by selling their services to Sugar Daddies. They don’t do it make ends meet, they do it to buy Prada and Gucci!? Do you blame men for that? The lines are becoming blurred as our society raises a generation of girls who are disillusioned to believe that being ‘hot’ and ‘rampantly sexual’ is a sign of being empowered and that consumerism is king! And the ‘sex sells’, mentality of consumerism in the process, is turning ALL women and their sexuality into commodities.