At a time when many of us are working flat out to help young women avoid controlling, manipulative, emotionally and physically violent relationships, comes a film which presents these behaviours as romantic.
Fifty Shades of Grey, based on E.L James blockbuster book, hits the cinemas today for Valentine’s Day.
Sex shops report a roaring trade, hardware stores are stocking up on cable ties and rope, and everyone’s getting in on the act. Anti-violence men’s group White Ribbon was to be the beneficiary of a Fifty Shades screening until we pressured them enough to scrap it (unfortunately we haven’t yet had the same success getting Dr Ahmed Tanveer removed as an Ambassador for his Australian piece this week contradicting and undermining the White Ribbon cause, but watch this space). A Uniting Care pre-school was to benefit also from a fundraising screenings but Uniting Care was persuaded that that wasn’t such a good idea either and that idea was pulled.
But the juggernaut rolls on. The film is being advertised on bus shelters outside high schools and even in respite care centres for children.
Why say “I love you” with chocolate when you can say it with blood and bruises?
Christian Grey, 28, in reality a sexual sociopath worthy of a restraining order, is depicted as handsome, alluring and exceedingly wealthy. Playboy Grey targets and grooms Anastasia (Ana) Steele, a virginal, klutzy, 21-year-old college student.
His obsessive and controlling behavior towards the naïve Ana is read as a sign of love and devotion. He loves her like no other.
In the advertising overdrive, the dangerous messages propagated by the Fifty Shades phenomenon should not be missed: stalking, aggression, sexual violence, threats, intimidation, manipulation and control are sexy.
If he stalks you he must really love you. If you say ‘no’, that’s just a come-on. And if you love a sadistic abuser he’ll change and you’ll live happily ever after in a really big house.
None of these behaviours are marketed as problematic but promoted as romantic. That’s why domestic violence groups internationally have launched a campaign called ’50 dollars not 50 shades’ calling for a boycott of the film and asking for donations to women’s shelters instead. They have seen too many real-life Anastasias.
One refuge worker has described Fifty Shades as a ‘classic narrative of domestic violence’.
But rather than walk away from the Christian Greys of the world, the genre tells women that if you love him and cop enough of his shit, eventually he’ll magically morph into the man you wanted.
Melbourne mental health profession Geoff Ahern agrees. “It’s fiction that glorifies fear, intimidation, stalking and violence against women. When I read extracts from the book I hear my clients telling the same stories and that is most certainly not fiction”.
Natalie Collins set up the campaign group, Fifty Shades Is Domestic Abuse. The Independent reports:
When Collins’ co-campaigner first read the books, she said she was “deeply disturbed by how it mirrored the abuse that she had experienced from an ex-partner…women are coming to us and saying, ‘We feel exploited, we feel that our stories and the abuse and trauma that we have suffered are being capitalised upon.’ We’re concerned especially how that’s reflecting and impacting young people.”
Men learn to be turned on by women in pain.
Grey calls Ana his ‘submissive’ and expects her to sign a contract outlining the ways he intends to control her.
“I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele… Hard.” And then he “rips through” her virginity, making her cry out. He then tells her he wants her to be “sore.”
Young women are growing up in a culture which grooms and socialises them to be subordinate. Fifty Shades reinforces that – with the expectation they should also find aggression sexy and desirable.
An analysis by Michigan State and Ohio State universities determined that Grey is a perpetrator who uses an ‘interlocking pattern’ of emotional abuse strategies to manipulate Ana and control the relationship, including, stalking, intimidation, isolation and humiliation. Physical and sexual violence are prevalent and Christian uses alcohol to impair Anastasia’s consent.
“Sexual violence is pervasive,” said the authors, citing Christian using alcohol to compromise Ana’s consent, intimidation, initiating sexual encounters when angry, dismissing Ana’s requests for boundaries, threatening her and humiliating her.
The authors noted Ana experiences reactions typical of abused women such as constant perceived threat, altered identity, stressful managing, engaging in behaviours to ‘keep the peace’ like withholding information to avoid Christian’s anger.
Researchers believed the popular book series had the power to influence attitudes and beliefs surrounding intimate partner violence, arguing “individuals regularly alter their real world beliefs and attitudes in response to fictional communication.”
The impact on Anastasia is consistent with that of other victims of intimate partner violence –constant perceived threat, managing and altering her behaviors to keep peace, lost identity, disempowerment and entrapment.
A 2013 Vic Health survey found a sizeable number of people believe there are circumstances in which violence can be excused.
We don’t need more myths about intimate partner violence being a reflection of true love. The last thing we need is the romanticisation of domestic abuse.
We can’t ignore the implications of depicting a man worthy of criminal charges as hot, sexy and desirable. The packaging of a story about an abusive relationship as ‘Romance’ perpetuates violence against women and undermines efforts to promote equal, respectful relationships.
As published on Feminist Current Feb 13, 2015.
Caitlin Roper
Over the last few weeks, the campaign calling on supporters to boycott Fifty Shades of Grey and donate to a domestic violence shelter has escalated – and so too has the backlash from fans of the book series arguing that it was all just a bit of harmless, sexy fun.
We’ve prepared responses to some of the most common arguments we heard in support of the book series and film.
“It’s just fiction!”
Many Fifty Shades fans argue that it is just a book/film, a work of fiction, and as such the eroticized representations of violence against women have no power to influence thinking, attitudes or beliefs.
However, an analysis of the novel found sexual violence and emotional abuse were pervasive and the popular book series had the power to influence attitudes and beliefs surrounding intimate partner violence. The authors argued that “individuals regularly alter their real world beliefs and attitudes in response to fictional communication” and “stories are especially influential when readers become drawn into them and cognitive resources, emotions, and mental imagery faculties are engaged.”
The authors noted in their conclusion “our analysis adds to a growing body of literature noting dangerous violence standards being perpetuated in popular culture.” Read more
“It’s so popular!”
Fifty Shades of Grey is popular in large part because of the misleading way the the trilogy has been promoted. It has been marketed as “romance” and “porn for women” and defended as “playful fantasy encouraging women to become more daring in their sexuality.” If the story was promoted for what it is – a powerful sadistic man grooming a naive young woman for sexual violence and abuse – we doubt it would achieve the same success.
The popularity of Fifty Shades’ means it has even greater potential to perpetuate and reinforce damaging attitudes about abusive relationships.
Throughout history many there are many examples of oppression, violence and injustice that were popular or socially accepted in their time, but are now strongly rejected. Read more
“But he loves her so much!”
To accept this argument would be to believe that stalking, possessiveness, manipulation, jealousy, control and other elements of intimate partner violence are based in love – that abusive men hurt their female partners because they ‘love them so much’.
Perpetrators themselves like to say they acted out of love. This is false. Read more
190 Responses
In reality it is ‘sadistic male sexual violence isn’t romance’ but I note sanitised malespeak term ‘abuse’ is now being widely used rather than ‘male violence’ because of course it is taboo to name males as the perpetrators.
Why is Fifty Shades of Male Sexual Violence being so widely promoted by mens’ malestream media and mens’ advertising agencies? Because men know constant male propaganda (oops I mean mens’ lies do influence women and girls) and this is why advertising agencies exist. Corporate companies know that using advertising agencies ensures sales of their products/services do increase dramatically and consumers will want to purchase the latest item/service. So it isn’t rocket science stating that this vile women-hating book and film reinforces and normalises systemic male sexual violence against women and girls. Furthermore malestream media outlets ensures that real Radical Feminist analysis of how and why mens’ porn industry is systemic male sexual violence against women is never published. So given women and girls are constantly bombarded with mens’ women-hating lies don’t be surprised women and girls are believing these lies and/or believing they are ‘deviant’ for not wanting or liking to be subjected to systemic male sexual violence.
E.E. James author of the vile women-hating book publicly admitted she had ‘trawled’ mens’ porn sites in order create her fictional story and everything she has written is taken from mens’ porn sites and mens’ porn industry. So it isn’t James we should hold accountable, but the men behind their malestream pornography industry who are the ones profiting and benefitting from this vile film and book series.
I look forward to removal of legislation (not) concerning male sexual violence against women and girls, because male perpetrators will justify their pseudo male sex right to sexually prey on women and girls by citing Fifty Shades of Male Sexual Violence as justification. After all given women and girls ‘consent to being subjected to sadistic male sexual violence/sexual torture then no crime has been committed!’
Congratulations men you have finally succeeded in normalising and justifying male pseudo sex right to subject any female to sadistic male sexual violence because ‘women and girls consent to their being dehumanised by men!’
Thank you for starting this petition which I gladly support
This blog post is more violent than the movie. Goes to show violence isn’t just for men.
If only they tallied the violince against men stats (which they don’t, only women) you’d find them 50/50
First of all… With all respect to people that have been involved with domestic abuse…if you still have these emotional trigger’s. that’s something you need to work on personally, and yes it’s very possible to overcome.
Instead of trying to control everything outside yourself, you should be more focused on inner healing. learning from the past without the emotional charge becomes wisdom.
Take control of you’re life. You can do it. Let people be. Because being able to trust, and explore sexually with your partner is a beautiful thing. Don’t turn this into something it’s not.
Oh, look: a semi-literate woman-hater is exercising his right to free speech to advise battered and raped women that, if they work really hard to improve themselves, they, too, can come appreciate that battery and rape as “a beautiful thing.”
Thanks, theodore, for teaching us that idiocy is no barrier to male supremacy.
Thank you so much Hecuba for another true,great,brilliant post! I read on some blog a couple years ago shortly after Fifty Shades of sexualized,eroticized,romanticized,horror came out someon said exactly what you did that E.LJames looked at a lot of pornographic sites and videos and based the books on it!
These are all feminist academic studies on how Twilight which E.L.James admits she also based the horrendous Fifty Shades on,romanticizes,sexualizes and normalizes a Edward’s domestic violence towards and domination of Bella.
A Conversation Between Twilight and the Feminist World by Rendell Hendricks discusses how twilight reinforces harmful sexist gender roles and gender stereotypes and romanticizes and endorses men’s violence against women.
https://www.mckendree.edu/academics/scholars/hendricks-issue-24.pdf
Vampires,Werewolves,and Opression:Twilight and Female Gender Stereotypes by Zoe Snider Transylania University
She also discusses the same issues.
http://cas.umkc.edu/english/publications/youngscholarsinwriting/documents/9/15vampireswerewolvesandoppression-.pdf
And so does Rebecca Hayes-Smith
http://www.academia.edu/642302/Gender_Norms_in_the_Twilight_Series
And this,The Romanticism of Teen Dating Violence:The Twilight Series As A Case Study by Kyrie McCauley Bannar honors in sociology
American university
http://aladinrc.wrlc.org/bitstream/handle/1961/9164/Bannar,%20Kyrie%20-%20Spring%20%2710.pdf?sequence=1
And Twilight:The Glamorization of Abuse,Codependency, and White Privilege by American and women studies professor Danielle Borgia at Loyola Marymount University
http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1111%2Fj.1540-5931.2011.00872.x
This study by Samantha Oakley from Minnesota State University
I Could Kill You Quite Easily,Bella Simply By Accident:Violence and Romance In Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga
http://cornerstone.lib.mnsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1125&context=etds
E.L.James author of the horrendous Fifty Shades of Grey admitted what so many feminist strong criticisms and bad amazon.com reviews have said,that she based it on the Twilight books and movies and made an even worse more violent woman-hating version.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/192746533/The-Twilight-Saga-Exploring-the-Global-Phenomenon
I meant Fifty Shades of sexualized,eroticized,romanticized,sick, sexist,woman-hating,men’s sadistic violence against women horror books and movie!
http://repositories.lib.utexas.edu/bitstream/handle/2152/23201/MCDANIEL-DISSERTATION-2013.pdf?sequence=1
In this very good long academic study by Diane McDaniel of university of Texas from 2013 called,REPRESENTATIONS OF PARTNER VIOLENCE IN YOUNG ADULT LITERATURE DATING VIOLENCE IN STEPHENIE MYER’S TWILIGHT SAGA
She mentions that the best selling Fifty Shades trilogy was based on it and rewritten with a different name to avoid plagiarism which is what so many people said in bad reviews on amazon.com and on feminist blogs,that E.L.James copied Twilight and made an even worse more violent woman-hating version. She also discusses how Edward leaves Bella badly bruised on her body after they have sex for the first time after they get married and this violent sex gets her pregnant with her daughter.She says that Edward throws Bella through a glass table!
And she said that Twilight romanticizes and sexualizes dangerous partner violence as romantic and sexy just like Fifty Shades does! She says that even she herself read all 4 Twilight books in the summer of 2008 and at first liked the love story and this is when she was working at a domestic violence center and she said her colleague and the director there also said they loved the books and there was a copy of the first book there.She explains how upset she was and how startling it was when she realized that she and they hadn’t even recognized all of the domestic violence of Bella by Edward in it! And she says the same thing about the huge popularity with so many fans who don’t see it either.
She also says on page 68 of this great dissertation, that Bella still swept up in pleasure of the previous night’s love making,(it’s actually really woman-hating and violent abuse making!) Bella sees herself in the mirror and says that she stared at her naked body in the full-length mirror behind the door and says’s she definitely had worse and that her lips were a little swollen and says that there was a faint shadow across one of her cheekbones, but other than that her face was fine.
Very disturbingly and sickly Bella says that the rest of her was decorated with patches of blue and purple.She describes Edward’s bad bruises as her decorations! Bella then says that she concentrated on the bruises that would be the hardest to hide- her arms and her shoulders.And then Bella says they weren’t so bad.Then Bella says that her skin marked up easily and that by the time a bruise showed she had forgotten how she had come by it.
Bella then says of course these were just developing and that she’d look even worse tomorrow.This came from the fourth best selling Twilight book,Breaking Dawn page 95.Diane says that while Edward had tried to be as gentle with her as possible he had injured Bella while making love and that Edward is unhappy and remorseful in the face of her injuries.And that Bella has become pregnant which is another circumstance which puts her life in danger.
In her summary on page 74 Diane says that a critical examination of popular texts such as this study can reveal much about the contexts in which people manage their intimacy,as well as provide insights into the place of violence in romance and intimacy and she has the last name(Wilson 2011) as one of her many research references,who have done research and criticism of the domestic abuse and sexism in Twilight and other popular media.
Diane then says that a single text has a multitude of meanings and that readers can construct multiple meanings from text.And are capable of multiple simultaneous readings of a single text.She then says that when a culture is swept up by a story that begins to permeate the social awareness of readers and non-readers alike,that story can give us answers to the basic concerns of the culture and that Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga is such a story.
.She then says that considerable attention is being paid by women’s studies scholars and says much of it focused on what the story can tell us about the current state of feminism and refers to researchers,(Ames;2010,Bode;Silver 2010.
Diane then says that it has been established that the male protagonist in the romance exerts insistent dominance and violence on the female protagonist and refers to researchers (Collins & Carmody 2011,;Kokkola,2011;Michel 2011.and says thus Twilight saga also has important messages for domestic violence advocates and service providers about the role of violence in intimacy.She then says that horror stories and melodrama,which she says Twilight both are in addition to romance can be viewed as functioning as fairy tales for grown-ups teaching people what is or is not permissible in sexual relationships.
Diane then says that since it’s debut of the first novel in the four book series,Twilight has been a prolific and profitable purveyor of instructions about romance to young women and men.Diane then says that Bella’s attraction to abusive men encourages readers to translate male violence into gestures of love.She then says that the Twilight popular fandom has produced t-shirts that say,”Edward can bust my headboard,bite my pillows and bruise my body any day.” and Diane says which certainly sends a dangerous message to the real life young men trying to woo them.
She shows a disturbing picture of a long sleeve t-shirt that has what she described written on it,but the words bust,bite and bruise are in capital red letters.She then says that Bella,as the story’s narrator and heroine,views abusive behaviors by men as desirable and that she likes Edward’s treatment towards her.Diane then says,yet in addition to stalking her through the story,Edward scares her by driving too fast,orders her into confinement,dictates who she can see,physically controls her by carrying or restraining her,calls her ”silly” and a ”coward” and refers to her as ”mine”.
Christian Grey tells Ana you’re mine and tells her that he owns her vagina and the he wants to own her a*s and that her a*s needs training. Women and their body parts are property and possessions for men to own and use for their pleasure like they have been doing for the last 1000’s of years,and pornography teaches the same horrible sexist,woman-hating,unjust things!
She says he also throws her through a glass table,repeatedly exposes her to other vampires intent on killing her,abandons her in a forest,and badly bruises her during sex.She says that at one point in the narrative he marks her with his scent to deter Jacob as a suitor. And she says that Bella responds with utter dependence on him for her happiness,safety and future.And she says without exception,the narrative presents dangerous abusive behaviors as sexy and that readers are encouraged to translate Edward’s behaviors as desirable,protective and romantic.Then she says Genre and voice work to support reader’s resistance to a sub-plot of violent behaviors as a reflection of abuse.
She demonstrates that Edward’s abuse described towards Bella matches the descriptions and criteria for domestic violent abuse by web sites from The National Domestic Violence Hotline, National Crime Victims Center,the Stalking Center, and the Love is Respect site.She also explains the power of having the story told in Bella’s voice as enjoying and accepting Edward’s abuse of her,makes readers identify with this as romantic,sexy and acceptable. Just like Ana’s voice does in the even more horrible abusive violent woman-hating,Fifty Shades of Grey!
Youtube poster Rene Wright says Yeah the LOVE story that if you stay with a psycho man controlling man one day you will change him and it all ends with everyone rich and happy. She said that’s an insult to any woman in an abusive relationship.She then says re-read and realize she doesn’t have room to even take a breath without permission like a true slave and she says oh so sexy and the characters don’t change ,she says I mean he beats Ana’s pregnant stomach with a belt! He could have killed the baby and this is in the last third book.
in response to another poster inaccurately claiming that Christian and Ana evolve later in the story.She says they do not evolve and that he continues to control every aspect of her life.She says he might say he wants to change but he never really does he buys the company she works for to better stalk her and she says he puts welts all over her body for disobeying him like a dog.
She then says what is the real issue is a female character who has such self deprecation that she does not think she deserves to be treated with mutual respect and allows a man to treat her this way .She said that is what sets women back decades!
This is comments to a video bad review of Fifty Shades of Grey by a woman who disturbingly doesn’t have a problem with the S&M but called the way the books portray Ana the most misogynistic bullisht* she’s ever read.
There are many young women very disturbingly,sickly saying they like or love the books.One of them who hated it is only 15! but her mother disturbingly,sickly liked it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlGNl8D45Ng
This amazon.com reviewer Neena says how misogynistic Fifty Shades Of Grey is in reviewing the second Fifty Shades book in the 3 book series and she wonders why more women don’t realize it.She likes the woman-hating,sadistic violent sex Christian does to Ana though at least she doesn’t say anything against it. She says Ana has been given so many of the negative traits that women are accused of and says that they are thinly veiled and says I wonder why more readers haven’t noticed?
She then says that it’s ironic that a book full of misogynistic stereotypes should be popularized by women. Another amazon.com customer says in response to her bad review (though it’s not nearly bad enough!) that surprisingly the author E.l.James is a woman,and that women can be misogynistic too.
So this reviewer Neena says back that she realized that E.l.James is female after she wrote her review and said you’re right though women are not immune to misogyny.
http://www.amazon.com/review/R3LHMREH9XXRB3/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0345803493#wasThisHelpful
Clare Phillipson the director of a British domestic violence center was going to burn copies of Fifty Shades of Grey along with her members because as she so rightfully said it’s disgusting it glamorizes and normalizes sexual violence,domestic abuse,sexism and misogyny.
http://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/local/all-news/50-shades-of-anger-sunderland-domestic-violence-charity-calls-for-erotic-novel-to-be-burned-1-4857055
Powerful interview with Clare phillipson director of the domestic violence organization Wearside women in Need about her protests against Fifty Shades of Grey and how the level of sexual violence by Christian grey is shocking.
http://rubyreadsbooks.blogspot.com/2012/11/clare-phillipson-on-50-shades-of-grey.html
From feminist activist Sunsara Taylor and her organization End Pornography and Patriarchy:The Enslavement & Degradation of Women she explains how Fifty Shades of Grey is Bad for women bad for Sex and it promotes and normalizes violent and degrading sex of a woman by a man
http://sunsara.blogspot.com/2012_07_01_archive.html
http://sunsara.blogspot.com/2012_06_01_archive.html
Thanks so much for all the brilliant research you’ve shared here Randie. I’m going to have to take a few days off to get through it all!
Really appreciate it.
You are *very* welcome and thank you for appreciating it! I have tons more great important information if you are interested I can post it or send it to you.
Here is a song on youtube The Monster You Have Made
About how Fifty Shades romanticizes, and normalizes a man’s domestic violence of a woman and how the author E.L.James refuses to see and admit it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBemOv5RW10
The poster iorarua, on the great radical feminist blog,I Blame The Patriarchy i says here in the comments,Anyone noticed that the Hollywood release of Fifty Shades of Grey is… tadaaaa… Valentine’s Day!
Just what every women secretly desires- a box of pink-centered chocolates,a bunch of cellophane-wrapped cheap flowers and a ticket to a film about women happiest when they are tied up,tortured,mutilated and degraded by some pathological,screwed- up rich dude.
other posters say how disturbing the Vermont Teddy Bear Valentine’s day Fifty shades of Grey teddy Bear is!
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2015/02/10/get-stuffed/#comments
From the tumblr site STFU Fauxminists!
Poster Lauren,
Part of what she said July 25th ,2014Can’t wait for the 50 Shades movie to normalize teen girls to think that a controlling relationship is romantic,can’t wait for sexualized violence to become increasingly mainstream. and most of all I can’t wait for bdsm to be labled a feminist revolution.
Then she says,I mean that last part has already happened tho.
http://stfufauxminists.tumblr.com/search/BDSM
And here another member edgebug,
Says the 50 Shades movie is promoting a massive dose of rape culture
http://edgebug.tumblr.com/post/92754450489
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/women-being-coerced-into-having-anal-sex-researchers-say-with-persuasion-normalised-9671395.html
50 Shades of Domestic violence
http://karnythia.tumblr.com/post/24889767867/50-shades-of-domestic-violence
This is also an excellent powerful radical feminist justified criticism and analysis of the horrendous Fifty Shades
http://liberationcollective.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/on-50-shades-of-grey-and-the-erotization-of-male-domination/
This guy who reviewed Fifty Shades of Grey gave it a 5 star review and got over 200 Facebook shares and many blog likes including very disturbingly by a male therapist! This guy describes how this is what your mother is reading and getting off to,and he describes how Christian ducts tapes Ana who he describes as a young girl, to a chair, blind folds her,gags her,beats the sh*t out of her, then pulls a tampon out of her cooch and f*cks her period p**sy,before spraying,hot salty jizz all over her face.He then says with his huge c*ck,his huge,huge c*ck so huge that she’s scared of it. He also says how the girl,meaning Ana had to interview him for the school paper when her cub roommate journalist got sick and then he tracked her down and made the girl his f*ck slave.
This is all so horrible eroticized,sexualized,men’s violence,degrading,and hatred of women exactly just like typical pornography does!
http://delicioustacos.com/2012/03/23/book-review-fifty-shades-of-grey-by-e-l-james/\
Here Porn Harms says that sadomasochism has long been recognized as a mental disorder in The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
http://pornharms.com/oprahs-network-supporting-bdsm-lifestyle/PORN
And so does Anti-Pornography.org’s So No To Sadomasochism
https://twitter.com/nosadomasochism
From the great important feminist site educating on the many harms of pornography with a lot of great research information
The link below is on the many harms and unhealthiness of BDSM and sadomasochism
http://www.antipornography.org/sadomasochism.html
From the excellent feminist anti-pornography educational site Anti-Pornography.org on the many harms of pornography
It says Fifty Shades Of Grey Harm-Violence Against Women,Mental,Emotional and Physical Abuse,Domestic Violence,Sadomasochism etc.
http://www.antipornography.org/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_harm.html
http://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/2013/01/26/another-example-of-how-meaningless-consent-culture-is/#comments
A poster says that Fifty Shades Of Grey is probably one of the most disgusting,violence-glorifying pieces of “literature” she’s come across since de Sade! This was in response to a news story about a sadistic man into bondage who was inspired by the very horrible dangerous Fifty Shades Of Grey to beat his girlfriend who “consented” to what she thought was “milder” spanking!
http://coffeeandprozac.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/50-shades-of-domestic-violence
50 Shades Of Domestic Violence On Coffee & Prozac blog a social worker Kel also discusses and explains how the Fifty Shades Of Grey normalizes, and romanticizes domestic violence against women by the male character in the books. Two women posted in the comments that their husbands abused them and bought the book for them!
Her friend Jennifer Armintrout also posts recaps of chapters pointing out the domestic violence in the books.A woman named Christina, said her abusive husband bought her the book because his friend’s wife loved it.She said she forced herself to read it’s awful.She says she was horrified over the scenes when he punished her and over all of the times that he tells her she is his.She said she felt like she wanted to rip the book into a million pieces as soon as she was done.She said it’s been a few days and she’s still upset over it.She said she thinks it needs to have a warning label on it so that women who are victims of DV should think twice before reading it.
Another woman Jen,said,thanks for writing this.My husband who has been abusive bought me this book. Clearly he thinks that my reading it will inspire some new level of “intimacy”. She says,I have avoided purchasing this book for the very reasons you stated.If I wanted to read about domestic violence I’d read my own life story.I don’t need to see domestic violence worshipped and praised just because it’s in a mainstream novel.
Young woman says what she finds funny she says in parenthesis ( not in a humorous way) is how people are saying that 50 is a form of ’empowerment’ to women,when all she sees is the further objectification and sexualization of young women.She then says the OTHER funny thing is that,most of the readers are women. She then says that she knows that she’ll probably piss off lots of women for saying this but
if women are yelling for equality,freedom from discrimination, Objectification and yet buy books that set us in the exact role we are trying to avoid… they have a term for that.They call it Stockholm Syndrome. She then has great quotes and the link to the great April 2012 post called On 50 Shades of Grey and The Eroticization of Male Domination by radical feminist smash from her liberationcollective blog
http://tacokittens.wordpress.com/?s=50+Shades+Mummy+Porn
Fifty Shades Of Rape Culture
By Moria Byrne Garton
http://www.eurekastreet.com.au/article.aspx?aeid=33478 on Eurekastreet an Australian site.
She quotes the editors Buchwald,Fletcher and Roth of the anthology,Transforming A Rape Culture and she says as Buchwald,Fletcher and Roth describe it,rape culture is ‘ a complex of beliefs than encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women’:It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality violent.In a rape culture,women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape… A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrosim against women as the norm.
Moria says further down in this article,that such a culture is emboldened by bad fiction marketed as erotica for women,(and she has this as a highlighted link that takes you to an article from an Australian news paper about the huge popularity of Fifty Shades Of Grey and they called it supermarket porn) where a female protagonist submits physically,emotionally,sexually,and financially to the control and abuse of the male hero’. THen there is the rest of this great article,and she got a lot of great supportive responses including from men.
One of the men Edward F02 said, “An excellent article,Moria. We are certainly living in a culture which does trivialise and objectify women as people and mitigates against a normal,healthy and safe relationship between the sexes. I think more needs to be done as far as looking at the Australian situation goes in regard to success on the sporting field and the virtual deification of male sporting heroes,especially in the NFL and AFL,with the consequent female hangers on and the appalling treatment of many of them.This area would be as bad an influence as the revolting sadomasochistic pornography you mention. Perhaps the two reinforce each other in certain instances. I think there is something sick about the way some of my fellow men look at women.Mick is always practical:there are little things anyone can do which might prevent assault and rape.I think we need to redefine the current paradigm of male/female relationships in this country.It will be an enormous and uphill task but I consider it an urgent necessity. I don’t think we can describe Australia as a civilised society if this sort of attitude and behavior remain untouched and unchanged.”
Very good strong justified criticism by a young woman who says how much Fifty Shades of Grey pisses her off to no end because like Twilight it romanticizes abusive relationships.And that it makes sense it was based on Twilight because it explains why Christian is so f*cked up he’s modeled on Edward in Twilight.
She says she can’t understand why this book is so popular with women but she says that she doesn’t have a problem with the dominance and submission fantasies and that can understand them and there other books about this that deal with it in a ”healthy” way.She doesn’t get it that male dominance and female submission which is the epitome of gender inequality is all a big part and cause of men’s violence towards women especially when it’s sexualized.But she says this book is dangerous,and the sickest thing about this is that strong independent ”feminist” (my justified quotation marks) women that she knows have read this book and told her that they enjoy it!
And she this disturbs her to no end.She says shame on E.L.James for romanticizing abuse like this that is so dangerous and toxic to our society and giving dangerous messages to men making excuses for them abusing women.
She also says that we still live in an extremely patriarchal society and that domestic violence by men against,women even though we have come a long ways,it’s still extremely prevalent in our society and that she frankly is absolutely not OK with a book that is written for female fantasies that romanticizes abuse because abuse is something that should never be romanticized.And she said this kind of stuff is not being brought up in everyday conversations.And then she said she’ll maybe do another video on how Twilight is corrupting the minds of young girls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20kT5uEg8aM
This is a great article from a few months ago by Dr.Gail Dines,Don’t be fooled by Fifty Shades of Grey-Christian Grey is no heartthrob and she explains that actor Jamie Dornan is going to star as the horrible violent sadistic woman-hater Christian Grey in the soon to be released Fifty Shades movie,and that he had been the star of a popular BBC TV series,The Fall playing a sadistic serial killer of women.
Gail explains that Christian is a wealthy sexual sociopath who targets and cajoles an emotionally and sexually unsophisticated 21 year old Anastasia who Gail (and many people on amazon.com bad reviews,and on feminist blogs have said that Ana often acts and speaks like a little girl before teenage years!) says who often sounds so naive and immature that she could easiy pass for an adolescent,into agreeing to sadistic sex that leaves her sometimes bleeding and too brusied to move!
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/oct/25/fifty-shades-of-grey-christian-jamie-dornan-fall
Sorry this article above by Dr.Gail Dines is from the Fall of 2013.
Also, as I have said if this horrendous Fifty Shades Of Grey was about a Black person (written by a Black or Jewish author or not) “willingly” submitting to be dominated and brutalized by a White man,or a Jew for a Nazi,it never would have become so popular with Black and Jewish people,there would be a lot of totally justified outrage,and the media never would have promoted,glamorized and normalized it this way! Or of a woman dominating and brutalizing a man(not that this is healthy or right either although the revenge is tempting),the media never would have promoted,normalized and glamorized it this way and nobody would insanely,injustly,incomprehensibly say it was ”empowering” for the blacks and the Jews!
And it wouldn’t be this disturbingly popular with women either,because sadly many women are still socialized to be passive,submissive sex objects and victims to please and serve men,and don’t identify with dominating and abusing men,and pornography and the mainstreaming of it is a *big* reason why!
Actually if in the white racist society when black people were owned as slaves by whites,if a black person wrote a novel and it was turned into a movie called,Fifty Shades of Black that portrayed a black person as ”willingly” ”consenting” to be dominated and tortured by a white man and it was hugely popular with black people,and they were insanely raving about it and loving it,the blame would not be on the black author who wrote it,or all of the black people loving it,the fault would be totally on the white dominated racist society!
Same thing if a Jewish person in the Nazi society wrote a best selling novel,and it was then also turned into a movie,about a Jewish person portrayed as ”willingly” submitting,and ”consenting” to be dominated and tortured by a German person or a Nazi,and millions of Jews loved it,the blame would be on the Nazi dominated society,just like it’s totally the very sick,sexist,woman-hating,gender stereotyped,pornographic male dominated society’s fault women are writing and loving horrible sexist,violent,woman-hating ash*T like Twilight and the even more woman-hating,violent,horrendous Fifty Shades of horror that E.l.Jame’s admits she based on Twilight!
E.L.Jame’s author of the horrendous Fifty Shades of Gray admitted that she based it on the Twilight books and movies. She says here that she saw the Twilight movie when it came out and loved it,and then she read all of the books and loved them too and she (horribly and very unfortunately!) decided to write her own version)
http://www.scribd.com/doc/192746533/The-Twilight-Saga-Exploring-the-Global-Phenome non
POWERFUL YOUTUBE VIDEO HOW PORN FUELS RAPE CULTURE BY JONATHON VAN MAREN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxXitFmpfPg
HERE JONATHON VAN MAREN SAYS FIFTY SHADES OF GREY NORMALIZES SEXUAL VIOLENCE TOO
Here Jonathon Van Maren in his article Porn Fuels Rape Culture shows the cover of the horrendous best selling book Fifty Shades of Grey and discusses how it’s so damaging in how it has normalized men’s sadistic violence towards women as(insanely!) women seeing this as part of a good relationship etc!
http://www.antipornography.org/porn-fuels-rape-culture.html
PRO FEMINIST BEN BARKER ON THE SICKNESS & HARM OF SADOMASOCHISM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etw8QmH23i4
PLEASE WATCH THIS INTERVIEW WITH 21 YEAR OLD ANTI-PORN PRO-FEMINIST BEN BARKER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zK9Sl-g1po
Great powerful recent article which qoutes sociology and women’s studies professor Dr.Gail Dines on the harms of Fifty Shades of Grey in how it dangerously eroticizes and romanticizes domestic violence of women by men.
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/a-womens-shelter-or-a-graveyard-how-50-shades-of-grey-ends-in-real-life-27601/
ANOTHER YOUTUBE VIDEO BY AN INTELIGENT ANGRY WOMAN ABOUT FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND HOW HORRIBLY WOMAN-HATING AND ABUSIVE IT IS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaiH4QzD2hw
Please watch this short interview from the PBS series, Makers Women Who Make America about the history of the Women’s Equality Rights Movement, the whole series is very good and important. Actress Meryl Streep narrates this series.
Gloria Steinem is interviewed about how pornography is about men’s domination and violence and it’s about women as sex slaves(she says porne means female slaves,and she wrote about this in her great 1977-1978 Erotica vs Pornography article in Ms.Magazine that I read in her excellent 1983 best selling book,Ourageous Acts And Everyday Rebellions,and that porne is a Greek word and comes from when men owned women as sex slave prostitutes in Greece before cameras got invented) and degrading women not sex, but erotica(explicit sexual images) is about love and equality and the public still doesn’t understand this.She says first that we came to understand that rape is about violence not sex.But we haven’t gotten to the point of understanding this about pornography too.
http://www.makers.com/gloria-steinem/moments/porn-v-erotica
Since December of 1990 I have had brilliant radical feminist Catharine Mackinnon’s excellent very important book,Feminism Unmodified of her 1980’s transcribed speeches on harms of pornography,statistics of incest of little girls, domestic violence including murders of women by men,rapes of women including by their husbands,which was still legal until 1993! and sexual harassment of women,the social conditioning of both sexes into ”feminine” and ”masculine” categories etc. Rhea Becker from the sadly former Women’s Alliance Against Pornography Education project recommended this book to me along with John stoltenberg’s great important Refusing To Be A Man:Essays On Sex and Justice. I knew who Catharine was but I didn’t know who the great John Stoltenberg was then. In an early 1983 speech in her chapter called,Not a Moral Issue Catharine says that, women and men know men find rape sexual and pornography erotic. It therefore *is*. She then said we also know that sexuality is commonly violent without being any the less sexual.
To deny this sets up the situation so that when women are aroused by sexual violation,meaning we experience it *as* our sexuality,the feminist analysis is seen to be contradicted.But it is not contradicted it is *proved*.The male supremacist definition of female sexuality as lust for self-annihilation has won. She then said It would be surprising ,feminist analysis would be wrong,and sexism would be trivial,if this were merely exceptional.She then says ( One might ask at this point, not why some women embrace explicit sadomasochism,but why any women do not) To reject forced sex in the name of women’s point of view requires an account of women’s experience of being violated by the same acts both sexes have learned as natural and fulfilling and erotic ,since no critique,no alternatives,and few transgressions have been permitted.
The great brilliant Catharine Mackinnon also says in her April 5, 1984 speech Francis Biddles Sister:Pornography,Civil Rights and Speech that is one of many great speeches she made in the 1980’s that are in her great important book,Feminism Unmodified Discourses On Life and Law, on page 185 that Although police have known it for years,reported cases are increasingly noting the casual role of pornography in some sexual abuse. She has a footnote # 107 and on the notes page it refers to a 1982 case.She says in this chapter,in a recent Minnesota case,a fourteen-year-old girl on a bicycle was stopped with a knife and forced into a car.Her hands were tied with a belt,she was pushed to the floor and covered with a blanket.The knife was then used to cut off her clothes,and fingers and a knife were inserted into her vagina.
Then the man had her dress,drove her to a gravel pit,ordered her to stick a safety pin into the nipple of her left breast,and forced her to ask him to hit her.After hitting her,he forced her to commit to fellatio and to submit to anal penetration,and made her use a cigarette to burn herself on her breast and near her pubic area.Then he defecated and urinated on her face,forced her to ingest some of the excrement and urine and made her urinate into a cup and drink it.He took a string from her blouse and choked her to the point of unconsciousness,leaving burn marks on her neck,and after cutting her with his knife in a couple of places,drove her back to where he had gotten her and let her go.The books that were found with this man were:Violent Stories of Kinky Humiliation,Violent Stories of Dominance and Submission Catharine then says,You think feminists made up these words?-Bizarre Sex Crimes,Shamed Victims,and Water Sports Fetish,Enemas and Golden Showers. She then says,The Minnesota Supreme Court said,”It appears that in committing these various acts,the defendant was giving life to some stories he had read in various pornographic books.”
Books exactly like Fifty Shades of Dam*ed Grey!!!!
She has other victims of pornography’s testimonies and examples and a lot of studies in this great book also. Since December of 1990 I have had brilliant radical feminist Catharine Mackinnon’s excellent very important book,Feminism Unmodified of her 1980’s transcribed speeches on harms of pornography,statistics of incest of little girls, domestic violence including murders of women by men,rapes of women including by their husbands,which was still legal until 1993! and sexual harassment of women,the social conditioning of both sexes into ”feminine” and ”masculine” categories etc. Rhea from the sadly former Women’s Alliance Against Pornography Education project recommended this book to me along with John stoltenberg’s great important Refusing To Be A Man:Essays On Sex and Justice.
I knew who Catharine was but I didn’t know who the great John Stoltenberg was then. In an early 1983 speech in her chapter called,Not a Moral Issue Catharine says that, women and men know men find rape sexual and pornography erotic. It therefore *is*. She then said we also know that sexuality is commonly violent without being any the less sexual. To deny this sets up the situation so that when women are aroused by sexual violation,meaning we experience it *as* our sexuality,the feminist analysis is seen to be contradicted.But it is not contradicted it is *proved*.The male supremacist definition of female sexuality as lust for self-annihilation has won. She then said It would be surprising ,feminist analysis would be wrong,and sexism would be trivial,if this were merely exceptional.She then says ( One might ask at this point, not why some women embrace explicit sadomasochism,but why any women do not) To reject forced sex in the name of women’s point of view requires an account of women’s experience of being violated by the same acts both sexes have learned as natural and fulfilling and erotic ,since no critique,no alternatives,and few transgressions have been permitted.
I actually found out who Catharine was while I was watching the MacNeil /Lehrer NewsHour on PBS TV in the summer 1986. I loved her right away,she’s kind,pretty and brilliant! She was on talking about a recent case in which a 9 year old boy with his friend imitated the things they saw in one of the boy’s mother’s pornographic books and magazines they found in her room,and the boy climbed on top of his only 1 year old mildly retarded sister to perform oral sex and they used a pencil and a coat hanger to try to imitate the whips and chains in the pornography they saw and the baby died!
Also, I really want to point out that many people ignorantly continue to deny that pornographic pictures and movies effects most men and many women’s sexist attitudes,and men’s sexual violence towards women and girls and yet Many people have reported that the very popular written version of it,Fifty Shades of Grey has really influenced sexual attitudes and behaviors of both women and men who have acted out a lot of the abusive S&M practices, and the book has increased instruments of torture of women called,BDSM sex toys and other related items,and this book series is a made up story with no pictures of real people doing any real acts!
The great brilliant Catharine Mackinnon interviewed about harms of pornography on PBS Makers
http://www.makers.com/moments/pornography-phenomenon
Catharine Mackinnon interviewed about dangerousness and damage of pornography on PBS Makers
http://www.makers.com/moments/pornography-phenomenon
Catharine Mackinnon interviewed on Makers about brilliant Andrea Dworkin’s important work on the harms of pornography to women,specifically her 1980’s book,Pornography Men possessing Women.
http://www.makers.com/moments/working-andrea-dworkin
For 20 years I have had feminist sex researcher Shere Hite’s excellent book,The Hite Report On The Family:Growing Up Under The Patriarchy in which over 1000 girls and women and over 2000 boys and men from countries all over the world,mostly from the US and then Briton, answered question surveys about their experiences growing up in a sexist gender divided,,gender stereotyped,woman-hating family and society,and the messages and training they got into “feminine” and “masculine” and she addressed how sadomasochism is about confusing “love” as power and control and aggression and submission and pain and this goes back to childhood spankings and how in sadomasochistic pornography it’s almost always the woman who experiences pain and domination of her body,and how it’s a statement about the power relationship between men and women,and as she said sometimes an incitement to men to abuse women.
She also mentions child abuse expert Alice Miller and a book,Spare The Child by Phillip Grevin about how childhood spankings get eroticized for adults and that sadomasochistic whippings and beatings by adults stems from this.
http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/is-fifty-shades-so-bad-it-should-be-burned
the web’s tastiest lesbian magazine
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August 28, 2012
Is Fifty Shades of Grey so bad it should be burned?
0 Last week Clare Philipson, a director of a women’s refuge, urged people to gather copies of controversial book Fifty Shades of Grey to be burned on a bonfire on 5th November.
Clare is Director of Wearside Women in Need, a charity for victims of domestic violence, and she claims the sex scenes in the Fifty Shades are “misogynistic crap” and are abusive to the extent of being comparable to the crimes of serial killer Fred West.
So what exactly is Clare’s problem? It’s just harmless “mum porn” right?
For those of you who haven’t read the book (you can read a 30 second abridged version here) the heroine is Ana; a shy, 21-year-old literature student who has never so much as kissed another person or been aware of the existence of those “exciting new parts down below”.
She meets improbable 27-year-old sado-masochistic billionaire Christian Grey and he propositions to her that she sign a 20 page contract stating he can dominate every facet of her life from the hours that she sleeps to the food that she eats and all manner of other kinky business.
The contract states he wishes to gag, whip and use torture implements on her in his special red room of pain. A room, Clare Philipson argues, which has sinister similarities to the one Fred West had at 25 Cromwell Street.
When Christian Grey takes Ana’s virgininity he does heroically concede to give her “vanilla sex” the first time, rather than dragging her straight down into his torture chamber. Christian Grey is actually Prince Charming in disguise you see, a troubled man with deep psychological issues that just needs a nice, submissive girl to come along and love him. If she agrees to his dominant demands then there is always a chance he could form a real relationship with her. Maybe things could be different?
A few expensive gifts and helicopter rides later Christian introduces spanking into their sex life. Ana finds it very painful and also a little enjoyable. After the first spanking she weeps the whole night in pain and degradation. She finds the experience very upsetting and confusing.
What kind of message does this give out to young, impressionable women? Perhaps Clare Philipson has a point…
Christian Grey must have done something right though. A fan page on Facebook has over 315,000 “likes”, with women worldwide lusting after him. Fifty Shades of Grey is now the biggest selling book of all time and you cannot pass a book shop at the moment without huge displays of the trilogy winking at you through the window.
Waterstones on Oxford Street
I have of course contributed to E.L. James’s mass fortune by buying the book myself. All the women in my office were talking about it and I did not want to be the only person who had not read it.
What surprised me the most, apart from the dreadful writing style, was how Christian Grey is portrayed as some kind of sex symbol.
I proposed the following to the other women in my office:
1. He is an average looking, elderly guy without much money
2. He stalks her
3. He has no friends
4. He patronises her
5. He has long-term psychological problems
6. He is a control freak
7. He is very arrogant
8. His mouth is constantly in a hard line
9. He wants to physically hurt her. Often.
Of course, I made that first point up. He is actually a young billionaire. I was just trying to illustrate to them that, if he was not a handsome, young billionaire he would not seem so much of a catch. In fact he would unequivocally be a complete wrong’un.
Most of the women eagerly jumped to his defence. Their arguments are:
“But all the sex is between two consensual adults”
Now I am no prude and what consensual adults get up to behind closed doors is their own business but it is clear throughout the novel that Ana wants Christian’s love and affection and feels pressured to acquiesce to his disturbing sexual demands in order to achieve this.
If Ana was the dominant one and Christian Grey the submissive then that would be a different story altogether and a far better read in my opinion.
“She enjoys the spanking”
I think it is worth noting that many sexual abuse victims “enjoyed” the abuse which only heightens the feelings of shame afterwards.
Yes Ana is an adult, yes the spanking was consensual, but she reports feeling very humiliated during and after her experiences. She often cries and is unable to confide in anybody about the details of her relationship with Christian Grey, not even to her mother or her best friend, both of whom she is close to.
“She does not accept his gifts – money is therefore not important to her”
This is a ridiculous argument considering she is often travelling in his helicopter and emailing him from the Mac book he bought for her.
“It’s not abusive, they fall in love, it’s a love story”
is their final argument before I am trumped with,
“How could you possibly understand? You are a lesbian.”
I cannot respond to that one as they are right, I am a lesbian and perhaps I do not understand. Perhaps Christian Grey is what every straight women dreams of and I simply do not get it. Clare Philipson is just one of the few in the minority like me who also “don’t get it”.
All I can say is I find it depressing that seemingly intelligent women would idolise a man like Christian Grey.
I respond to the notion, “It’s just harmless mum porn” with:
Would you be happy for your daughters to date Christian Grey? Is that the kind of man you would like your little girl to marry?
I doubt many of the mothers swooning over him would like to see him emotionally abuse, spank and torture their daughters.
I have two young nieces ages five and 14 and they may read the book one day. Perhaps the 14-year-old already has. It horrifies me that she could interpret Christian and Ana’s relationship as a positive role model for her future relationships and consider his behaviour to be normal and acceptable.
Clare Philipson’s burning will make little difference to Fifty Shades of Grey’s readership. There are well over 4 million copies in circulation and it’s available to read online for free. Sado-masochism is now mainstream.
Rather than censorship her actions are making an important statement; the theme in this book is not okay. Physically and emotionally abusing your young, naive partner is not okay. Pressuring women into sexual activities they are not comfortable with is not okay.
Clare said:
“We are not burning the Bible or a political philosophy, we are burning the depiction of an abusive man as a romantic hero.”
For this I salute her.
6 Responses to Is Fifty Shades of Grey so bad it should be burned?
Ashlynn Blomstedt says:
August 29, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Bravo! I love that I am not the only one that finds this book sickening. It is wretched. I have a friend who is a dominatrix (interesting conversations there, I tell you) and she hates the book. It isn’t an accurate depiction of the BDSM community at all. The emotional abuse isn’t healthy from anyone’s outlook.
Rosie Hayes says:
August 29, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Hi Ashlynn, thank you for your positive comment. It’s good to know there are other people out there that share my views. I was starting to think that 4 million women in the world had all gone mad!
Emily says:
September 3, 2012 at 9:54 am
I feel like any woman that fantasies of a man like Christian Grey either hasn’t read the book properly or needs a good slap. This man essentially wants to control her life, it depicts an unhealthy controlling relationship and for some reason women everywhere want this. My first boyfriend at the age of 14 was emotionally controlling and abusive, and I kept drawing similarities to my ex when I read fifty shades and it shocked me that a housewife somewhere had wished this a man like this was her husband. But apparently its all ok because he is rich and can take her in his helicopter and make it all better.
Anna Winters says:
September 3, 2012 at 10:56 pm
I haven’t read the book (too many holds in the library and my parents refuse to buy it), but several of my friends have. They too follow the “Christian Grey is so (amazing, sexy, romantic)” model. It really worries me that they think an abusive and controlling man is the epitome of attractive. All this book will do is create subservient woman who think a man emotionally and physically abusing them is alright.
Gabs says:
September 4, 2012 at 12:28 pm
I also think it gives men and women wrong ideas about relationships emotional and sexual. It doesn’t sound a healthy example for them. The character gives him signed consent to beat her up it is so very wrong.
Rainbow says:
September 18, 2012 at 12:04 am
I agree with you 1OO%. This is not a love story. He loves to hurt her and control her. He is a psycho. I am lucky to have female friends that agree that he is crazy. Mr. Grey is not a romantic hero. He is not sexy either. This is not a real BDSM relationship. This story is about abuse. The message that these books are sending are DANGEROUS. I know from experience that a women can never change an abuser to a good man.
This recent disturbing article by Emma Green in The Atlantic about the huge popularity of the Fifty shades books and movies,disturbingly says if anything has the power to shape sexual norms this does.It does say that some of the book doesn’t portray Ana wanting or really consenting to what they said it portrays violent sex as hot sex.And they have Ana and Christian’s quotes from the book.She says that the movie is making it even more influential because it brings the book visually to life and that the movie has 20 minutes of sex scenes.
It says some things about the concerns of rape culture but presents ”consensual” BDSM as healthy,normal and harmless. It has a video posted,A Straightforward Guide To BDSM. They refer to it as kinky sex.It says that The American Psychiatric Association now frames BDSM as play and fetishes.She says although these kinds of desires can be related to other issues,the organization says in it’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders merely having these desires does not justify clinical intervention.She complains that this is not acknowledged in Fifty Shades because Christian’s sexuality is something he has to work through with his therapist.
Amy Adler a law professor at New York University who focuses on obscenity law and feminist theory says there’s an increasing vigilance against rape culture on the one hand and the easy acceptance of pornographic S&M on the other.
It says in wake of numerous allegations of rape on college campuses at Princeton,UNC Chapel Hill,the university of Michigan and many more,school administrators,students,sexual assault prevention advocates,policy makers,and more have been having important conversations about what constitutes consent. Very disturbingly Amy Adler says,the legal contract that is signed in Fifty Shades of Grey-it’s kind of the model of what a lot of affirmative consent people are looking for.
She then says maybe we should have written contracted for sexual exchanges on campus in order to avoid the messiness and possibility of error that could result in rape.
It also says that most of the readers are mom types including a good percentage of Christian women and the ages are women in their 30’s,40’s and 50’s and also research from the US shows a third who bought the books are between 18 to 29 years old.It also says that it’s worth noting that the fantasy of Fifty Shades is incredibly straight Ana and Christian stick to maximally traditional versions of femininity and masculinity
It quotes David Gushee who is an Evangelical Christian and professor of Ethics at Mercer university acknowledges the popularity of the Fifty Shades books with in his community and he says that he’s had many of his female students tell him that this is like pornography that good Christian women feel comfortable having on their desk at work and he said it somehow crossed the line to socially acceptable.
It mentions how oral and anal sex were once illegal and unacceptable.
It then quotes statistics on how a lot of women and some men like and want to be dominated by the other sex.And said that these kinds of (pornographic) images are much more familiar now for both women and men.The law professor Amy Adler says mainstream culture has come to look more and more like pornography.And she said it’s not just that with the click of a button you can see the most hardcore extreme sex imaginable.She said it’s also what you see everyday,it’s the way people on TV look like porn stars,it’s the way women go to work in shoes that twenty years ago would have been considered what porn stars would wear.
She says the that Amy Adler says with a chuckle that the ultimate sign of this mainstream penetration is the way people project their sexuality on social media imitating gestures and facial expressions from porn.she then says,if you look at somebody’s Facebook page or selfie culture,the way people are presenting themselves for cameras is much more sexualized then it once was.
She then says feminists have long been divided on the question of whether this is good for women.she says that ”sex positive” feminists in the 1980’s defended pornography as a form of freedom of expression.she then says how Catharine Mackinnon and Andrea Dworkin argued that pornography inevitably propagates violence against women largely because it dehumanizes them.she then quotes Catharine Mackinnon from her great book,Feminism Unmodified saying women in pornography are turned on by being put down and feel pain as pleasure,we want it,we beg for it,we get it.But this comes at the cost of seeing women as real people she said,and quoted Catharine saying,Only when self respect is accepted as human does debasement become sexy and female,only when avoidance of pain is accepted as human does torture become sexy and female.
She then says this one way of looking at the sexual dynamic in Fifty Shades,it’s supposed to be hot when Christian has Anastasia in her most compromising positions,he finds intense pleasure in her pain. She then says but even this doesn’t explain why millions of women have read the books and will see the movie,why they’re at least curious about this kind of sex,even if they don’t want to incorporate it into their own lives. Ludicrously,disturbingly law professor Amy Adler says,In the wake of the feminist revolution and the invention of this supposedly egalitarian model or expectation we have of relationships,what does sexuality look like? then she says sexuality which has been historically rooted in power dynamics,and perhaps(she incomprehensibly says perhaps!) sexist dynamics have those instincts or preferences been eradicated of our new understanding of equality? She says and if not what is to be done with them?
she says that a sex therapist and the author of Mating In captivity Ester Perel said in an interview that she finds it amazing that this country at this point is going to spill quantities of ink talking about Fifty Shades when it doesn’t even have a basic education on sex,it’s like you’re introducing alcohol to people who haven’t had any water in years.
There are 986 comments so far.
http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2015/02/consent-isnt-enough-in-fifty-shades-of-grey/385267/
http://endsexualexploitation.org/fiftyshadesgrey/
Feminist psychiatrist Dr.Linnea Smith,who who has an excellent important web site,talkintrash http://www.talkintrash.com/playboy/PB96.00.html Another Look At Centerfolds wrote me back in April 1994 and she thanked me for my important efforts on educating people on the harms of pornography,but she said it’s especially difficult because the public is desensitized(and this was not long after it unjustly went all over the internet and was made even more wrongly mainstreamed and acceptable!) and she said the media is reluctant to criticize other media especially sexually explicit media.She sent me 2 big folders of great important research studies and information on the many harms of pornography,and 1 of them was a powerful transcribed 1993 speech called,How They Must Hate Us Patricia Herdman about the sick harmful hatred of women in pornography and in the sick male dominated woman-hating society in general.
http://www.talkintrash.com/SmithInt.htmlIn this great 1990’s article feminist psychiatrist Dr.Linnea Smith talks about the large amount of research studies on the harms of pornography in general playboy Magazine promoting and normalizing sexual abuse of women and children for decades.
Below is an email I wrote a to anti-male violence,anti-woman-hating,ant-pornography professor and author of The Age Of Sex Crime,Jane Caputi,
Dear Jane,
I recently read an online old PBS interview with you, from No Safe Place Violence Against Women and I read good reviews of your important book,The Age Of Sex Crime. Also anti-sexist,anti-violence,anti-pornography pro-feminist author and educator Jackson Katz says in his notes section in his important great book The Macho Paradox How Some Men Hurt Women And How All Men Can Help ,For a study of the phenomenon of serial murder that locates this gruesome crime in systems of gender and power,and particularly in cultural constructs of masculinity and the deep misogyny in Western cultures see The Age of Sec Crime by J.Caputi 1987.
I’m very concerned about this sexualized,eroticized and normalized extremely sexist,violent,woman-hating S&M book series Fifty Shades Of Grey that is very depressingly and disturbingly huge best selling novels with mostly women and the media calls it mommy porn.It’s written by a sick,woman-hating pornography influenced British woman,E. L. James and it’s now going to be unfortunately normalized and glamorized even more by being made into a Hollywood movie! The very biased sexist media has horribly,glamorized,normalized and promoted it everywhere!
In one of the many Amazon.com reviews ,one of the reviewers said that in her first” spanking” Christian hits Ana 18 times in her own room and she’s crying. Another reviewer said that he hits her so hard that he left marks on her body,but she lies to her friend and says she fell down the stairs,and the reviewer says in (Red Flag!). Another reviewer on Amazon.com UK who reviewed all 3 books,in this review of the last book,Fifty Shades Of Freed,she says that Christian hits her when she’s pregnant and she says that this author has a lot to answer for and that her mind is a dark place and she never should have spewed it’s contents with the world.She also said that she hopes she never writes another book,and that she needs help. Several other reviewers said that he rapes vaginally more than once too. her too.
I read quotes from the book of Ana saying she’s a virgin,(another amazon.com reviewer who is a writer herself says that every time they had sex it was like Ana is being raped,and she too mentions him slamming into her as a virgin,and said she wanted to slap him)and that he says to her I’m going to f*ck you hard,(of course just like in the porn videos and Christian has a huge penis too just like in the porn videos,which makes it even more painful and violent,and women in porn videos are portrayed as loving it too!) and she says he slams into her and rips out her virginity and she feels a pinching pain! And another amazon.com reviewer said that every sex scene begins with Ana saying he slams into me. He beats her with whips,belts,chains,his hands,stalks her and is sexually sadistic,and physically and psychologically abuses her too and she’s portrayed as an unimportant insecure,submissive masochist who loves him and learns to like being dominated and brutalized by him!
He also insanely brutally wants to put his fist up her sh*thole but she tells him she doesn’t want this,so the ”sweetheart” agrees not to do this,but Ana also tells him that she doesn’t to have sh*thole intercourse,so what Christian do? He not only does it anyway,but does it in the most sadistic,cruel,violent way possible by tying her up and f*cking her hard up the a*s! You see it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t want this and that it causes her physical and mental agony because she signed a contract to be used,owned and abused as nothing but a total sex object and slave for him,and dominated by him for *his* pleasure which is all that really matters!
The great brilliant Gloria Steinem through the years has always written and spoke against pornography and it sexualizes and eroticizes male dominance and female submission and men’s irrational hatred,violence and cruelty towards women which Fifty Shades Of Grey is a written version of! I posted a lot of information against it on The Huffington Post in The Fall of 2012 on the harms of it and so did Anti-Pornography.org and they have a whole section on their great important site about the harms of Fifty Shades Of Grey Harms
http://www.antipornography.org/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_harm.html It says Fifty Shades Of Grey Harm-Violence Against Women,Mental,Emotional and Physical Abuse,Domestic Violence,Sadomasochism etc. ) didn’t care,notice,or insanely liked this!
And this is insane woman-hatred,cruelty,violence towards
women,sexualized,normalized,glamorized,and eroticized,is what the author insanely outrageously said is bringing women and families together!? And how totally messed up and disturbing that there are women saying it’s improving their sex lives with husbands and boyfriends! Including Christian and Catholic mothers and wives! But I have found a lot of *sane* women and men who have written how horrible,sexist,violent,woman-hating damaging these Fifty Shades Of books really are.
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Consummate Rubbish, 27 July 2012
By Margaret S. Evans “Margaret Evans”This review is from: Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker / Fifty Shades Freed (Kindle Edition)
Why are people buying into this? Controlling, benign rape, torture, not a romance in any sense of the word. Ana should be calling 911 instead of Mr Grey.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Fifty shades of boring degradation, 28 Aug 2012
By Maisie0701
This review is from: Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker / Fifty Shades Freed (Kindle Edition)
I now regret being seduced by the hype, succumbing to temptation and buying this trilogy. The first page is promising; a hook is provided and the reader is drawn in. But, as for the rest … the plot lacks substance and the romance and seduction do little to ameliorate the mind numbing, lengthy graphic descriptions of degrading, coercive sexual practice. It is repetitious, poorly written, self-indulgent bilge which could also produce unforeseen and dangerous consequences. It is not just a bit of fun, mild titillation or an account of playful sex between a mutual consenting couple but an invitation to experiment with salacious sexual practices that demean and denigrate women.
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Initial post: 28 Aug 2012 17:08:53 BDT
Lottie28 says:
Well said!!
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Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker / Fifty Shades Freed
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Utterly Boring, 15 July 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker / Fifty Shades Freed (Kindle Edition)
This is an unbelieveably boring novel. Okay, I understand why Ana Steele is so curious, enthusiastic and naive about her relationship, but seriously, the couple oare boring. There is NO plot, It is tiresome, predictable and to be honest, a realtionship I wouldn’t spend much time gossiping about in real life – let alone want my life to be that boring and monotonous. As for Christian Grey – what a violent control freak. The book suggests that it’s perfectly acceptable for a man to stalk, coerse, buy gifts for a woman so that he can beat her up, so he has the right to get pleasure out of hurting her. Gross. I can’t imagine every wanting my other half to think like Christian Grey – horrific!
Seriously, if you want titilation, go read the early Jackie Collins’ novels – she’s a brilliant writer. Jilly Cooper. Way more sexually exciting than this women harming rubbish! Comment Comment | Permalink
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Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
by E. L. James
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
Degrading and Poorly Written!, April 27, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
This book was horrible. I am not the type of person who feels uncomfortable talking or reading about sex, but this book was very tasteless. Here’s the story line. Rich alpha male meets innocent college student and arranges a sexual relationship with her. In their relationship, she signs a contract that requires her to do anything he asks and not tell anyone about it. If that isn’t degrading enough, the male character gets off on inflicting pain on and dominating the female character. ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDING ME? What woman would read this and enjoy it? This book disgusts me because it is sending the wrong message to men. Its saying, yes, we want pain inflicted on us during sex. There is already enough domestic violence out there as it is. This book is a disgrace!
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Degrading, disgusting, repetitive., October 12, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
The reason I bought this book was because everyone was saying how good it was. Yeah, good if you are looking for a porno to read. As far a story with a good backbone? no. I couldn’t even finish the book. It’s degrading to women. This book is some mans fantasy of women submitting to being tortured and liking it. That to me is disgusting, repulsive, and could be a reason we have SO MANY sexual predators out there today. Horrible. If you are the 1 in 3 women out there who have been molested, raped, abused, or beaten. DO NOT even think about reading this book.
It’s no wonder so few men have any respect for us women these days; they think this is how we WANT to be treated. Like submissive dogs. Makes me sick.
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Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker / Fifty Shades Freed
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars 50 Shades of Garbage, 16 July 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker /
Fifty Shades Freed (Kindle Edition)
I bought all 3 because my friends kept raving about them. They insisted I would be engaged. They promised it would get better. Oh my! How wrong they were! I literally gritted my teeth, waiting for empathy and understanding that never flared. If I hadn’t been reading them on my Kindle I would have thrown them against the wall. I took to skipping through the abuse (sorry, sex) scenes half way through the first book because they enraged me!
These are quite simply the worst things I have ever read. Appallingly written, with a deeply irritating and offensive male lead, a pathetic female lead and sex scenes that make me fear for womankind if they represent any sort of fantasy! But the worst thing of all is that it’s penned by a woman! Domestic violence charities must be absolutely thrilled to see sexual and physical assault packaged as eroticism! I think all the rain we’ve had recently is actually the tears of The Suffragettes falling! Shame on James!
By the way – Amazon, I actually wanted to give this no stars, it wasn’t an oversight!
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50 Shades of No!, October 13, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
Excuse me, my inner goddess just tried to escape out of my ear, and I let her. This is an absolutly awful book. The sex scenes are deplorable, the plot is Twilight (another awful book) and I felt nothing for the characters except disgust and horror. I weep for the future if people today call this well written literature.
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Fifty shades of Grey, September 22, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
This book was nothing short of pornography. It is way over the top in outrageous scenarios that demean and belittle women. This is the kind of GARBAGE that is shaping the next generation in this country. After YEARS of women fighting for respect and dignity, this book gives the impression that a woman should be HAPPY to be a man’s slave. What a horrible message to send to our daughters AND sons. Aren’t there enough men in this world who are abusive and demeaning to women without giving them another HOW TO book. A friend said she had heard this was a best sellar. Intrigued, I purchased it online. I returned this book for a full refund after the first 100 pages. There is SO MUCH GOOD READING out the why would anyone CHOOSE to fill their minds with this SMUTT.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Tiresome, July 4, 2012
By L. Kenndall “L.K.”This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
I’m very tired with so many books, even runaway bestsellers, that rattle on and on with the sexual violence against women that is taken as ‘passion.’ It’s isn’t passion. It’s abuse. And if you can’t tell the difference there is a serious problem. This is supposed to be a love story but it’s just Twilight hard-core. I know it was written as fanfiction but the editing team couldn’t even remove the Twilight-esque garbage from this meaningless drivel.
I’m looking for some good books. Strong women who can tell a man to kick rocks. Women that can talk about more than a guy and their clothes. Do these books exist these days? This junk is being shoved down our throats like we’re supposed to believe BDSM is the same thing as ultimate love and respect? This book represents neither. The writer wanted to write some hard core sex scenes and was too lazy to come up with her own characters.
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Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Triology horror, July 13, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
Well I’m half way thru the book and all I am is MAD. It’s not even believable. First, I hate first person books – all that he and I he and I he and I – just distracts from the story. Then a 21 year old virgin? Give me a break! And that virgin is willing to give it up just to be f****d because Christian doesn’t do making love? No way. A 21 year old virgin still believes in the fairytale of love. The inner goddess thing is BORING. And this ‘hero’ should be shot. He beats women and enjoys it. Her first ‘spanking’ in her own bedroom is 18 slaps that are so hard she’s crying! I can’t use the words I would use to describe him! He needs to be put out of his misery. Not a turn on. I am sorry I bought the whole triology. And this is a best seller? Sounds to me like the reading population needs therapy along with the author.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
I want my money back, August 5, 2012
By csc7
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
I have never written a review before in my life, but for this book, I feel compelled to warn potential readers to NOT read this novel. I am two-thirds of the way through the first book and it was a struggle just to get to this point. Before I read the book, I had no idea that it was Twilight fan fiction. After I found this out, the entire novel makes complete sense. All the annoying characteristics (and characters in general) I found in Twilight, match the ones found in Fifty Shades of Grey. The main character, Ana, spoke and acted as if she was in middle school the entire book. As someone who plans on interning at a publishing house, it should be in her best interest to express her feelings in phrases other than “jeez,” “that’s so hot,” and “double crap.” Ana also seems to suffer from multiple personality disorder as she has her subconscious and “inner goddess” act out roles in the book as well. Christian Grey is just an all around red flag and whoever actually encounters someone like him in real life should run far away. And preferably never use a computer or your cell phone because he will track your device and follow you there. In no world should stalking be considered attractive. This “romance” is really just abusive both emotionally and physically. Through this entire book, Ana clearly is frightened by Christian and doesn’t want to partake in most of the torturous sex. If someone makes you sign a legal document before you have sex with them, it is probably a good idea to leave as soon as possible. Ana is scared of Christian, has to watch what she says around him, can’t have a social life, and she makes yet another great idea and stays with him. I can’t bring myself to finish the last third of the book because every character in it is a crazy moron. I’m sure that it will be filled with many angry conversations about eating food, turning shades of crimson, fighting with her other personalities, magical orgasms after being abused, and awkward old British Literature thrown about. OH MY!
Initial post: Aug 6, 2012 6:48:32 AM PDT
Robin Smith says:
You should contact Amazon for a refund. I’ve read a number of reviews where the reviewer has received a refund.
This series is a sad commentary in so many ways. 🙁
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If this is the zeitgeist, we are in serious trouble, July 17, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
There’s been plenty of valid criticism about this book already but I wanted to weigh in with some thoughts.
Reasonable people will agree that this book is terribly written and contains obvious logical flaws, but I think the more troubling aspects of this novel are the characters and their relationship.
Anastasia Steele is quite simply the most unattractive woman imaginable. She has no interests, no confidence, no hobbies and barely enough love for herself to actually question whether it’s acceptable for men to control her. The constant self-deprecation is bordering on self indulgent. It’s ridiculous to think that Christian would have even the most remote interest in Anastasia.
Christian Grey meanwhile is a classic misogynist sex addict who manipulates and objectifies women, which is somehow acceptable because it is codified in a legal document. Without direct knowledge or experience with BDSM culture, it is hard to believe that the relationship between Anastasia and Christian could in any way be considered healthy. Christian’s language is pretentious and affected, his treatment of Anastasia is condescending and beyond controlling; he insists that she drive only a car he provides instead of a car she herself owns.
My issue with this novel is that it somehow validates very unhealthy attitudes about gender roles. The only redeeming quality one could potentially find in Anastasia is that she is well-read; somehow she skipped over feminist literature. Anastasia feels so powerless to do anything for herself, her existence so banal that she allows herself to be controlled and even beaten just to have a man in her life. Is this the kind of character we want to define our popular literature? We have some real thinking to do if Anastasia is the voice of the modern woman.
In summary: It’s very alarming to think about the many women who have such low confidence to identify with Anastasia. A very sad reflection of our society.
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22 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Why Oh Why Do I Have to Give This Book a Star?, June 15, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
Spoiler Alert!
I wish there were negative stars available on Amazon. This book would rate at least a negative 3. I am very scared about our society of women that some ladies are going gaga over a mentally and physically abusive nutcase like Christian Grey! Many unfortunate REAL women go to shelters to get away from controlling men like this character. The only saving grace is that this character is fictional.
I see the parallels to Twilight, but the story doesn’t really hold up switching out vampirism for BDSM. Edward was at least protecting Bella from a very real threat to her life, and therefore some of his more domineering ways could be excused or at least understood. In Grey, there is no one trying to hurt Ana but Grey himself. He is the evil bloodsucker trying to destroy her life. Edward at least had good intentions trying to keep Bella away from other bloodsuckers who would literally kill her once he got over his own desires in that direction (very quickly I might add). There is a totally different dynamic going on here between the characters. So while there are similarities in the characters, the intentions are completely different and therefore cannot be compared side by side. Twilight had its moments of frustration, but at least Edward had some redeemable qualities and was less likely to become a serial killer (believe it or not) than this Grey headcase.
I am just flabbergasted by the popularity of this book and all the swooning over this Christian Grey character. He is repulsive! Do so many women really dream about being doormats for a psycho to wipe his boots on? It gives me the willies.
And Ana, wow. This girl is pathetic. So pathetic. She has no backbone whatsoever. This author wants me to believe that after the first couple sexual interludes these characters have, this moron is still flushing and staring at her feet all the time? I wanted to reach through the book and smack her silly.
I don’t know what else to stay. This book was a huge dud for me. I feel like I wasted my time reading it, and now I am so disgusted with what I read I have to vent about it to get it out of my system. I actually think this is the worst book I have ever read for so many reasons. And that is saying a lot because I read all the time. I will read just about anything and I am not used to completely loathing a book like this. I read the sleeping beauty books by Anne Rice a few years back. They were pretty crappy books, which I have found most erotic fiction to be because the plot suffers and gets drowned under all the raunchy sex, but I can say in all honesty that the Anne Rice erotica was about 400 times better than Grey. Ewww, just eww
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Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
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Dangerous!, May 6, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
I for one am jumping off the bandwagon of this book. It is nothing but a porn-filled harlequin novel. It read like an instruction booklet for Violence against women. So lame….Strong, rich man, with dark side meets virginal beauty that no-one has ever noticed, and she dives into this sadistic world with pleasure, yet has been raised by a value-based family? So unbelievable. An alarming piece of work that may come back to hurt someone. Let’s hope this book doesn’t land in the hands of an angry man.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Fifty Shades of Cliche, July 14, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
Awful writing + glorification of an abusive relationship = trash. Fifty Shades is a spicier version of a good old Harlequin Romance, with all the tropes of the genre: sweet young woman falls for gorgeous, super-rich, arrogant man with a tragic past, boo hoo. She tames him and turns him into a better person. When Fifty Shades got to the backstory that explained why Christian was so messed up – his birth mother was a crack whore – I laughed out loud. Of course she was a crack whore!
I loved the reviewer who hypothesized that the book had been dreamt up by a couple of teenage girls. But what disturbs me about this book is that such a piece of garbage is being read and analyzed by some pretty smart women as if Christian Grey were a literary construct worthy of discussion. I CAN’T STAND IT. He – and this book – have less depth than a comic book. (Jughead’s character flaws would be more interesting.)
Most disturbing – the abuse factor. Who cares what people do in the bedroom – it’s no one’s business. But his controlling her life, limiting her contact with friends and family, are the hallmarks of batterers. And her acquiescence in that kind of relationship – which is meant to be “hot” – is typical of abused women. I wonder how real woman who have suffered mistreatment at the hands of a partner find this book. Not so sexy, I’m guessing.
And here’s my least favorite passage: “It’s (controlling and hitting) right for Christian. It’s what he wants, and …after all he’s done (bought her a car and first class airfare) I have to man up and take whatever he decides he wants, whatever he thinks he needs.”
Whoa! We should put up with men controlling and hitting us as long as they buy us expensive gifts??? What the hell year is this? Gloria Steinem, speak up about this piece of crap book. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On every dimension – artistic, political, psychological – this book is offensive, misogynistic junk, and I wish people would recognize that and shut up about it already!
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66 of 69 people found the following review helpful
Really, ladies?, April 24, 2012
By MsKitty2U This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
After hearing that this book was on hold at my local library for about a year, I had to pick up a copy and see what all the talk was about. From the way women were going crazy over this “love story,” I expected a modern day erotic classic. After reading a few pages, I had to look around for Ashton Kutcher because I thought I was on Punk’d. I kept reading because I thought something was going to happen to make it the story worthy of the attention it is getting. At around half-way through, I gave up and raised the white flag. There is so much wrong with this book that I’m not sure where to even begin.
The writing is horrific. Ana is repetitive (Holy Crap! Holy Cow! Holy This! Holy That!), whiny, and downright dumb. I found myself begging her “Inner Goddess” to go away. Referring to parts of her body the way a five year old would was…creepy. I felt no connection at all to any character in this book because the author doesn’t know how to build a character. They are one-dimensional stereotypes — the innocent virgin, the rich bad boy (I’m using that phrase because Amazon won’t allow me to print what he really is), the knock-out roommate, and the groveling ethnic boy in love with the virgin who won’t give him the time of day. I honestly have no clue how this was published or what anyone was thinking to make this become a top-selling book.
On to the actual “plot” – the fact that a college-educated grown woman is giggling and acting like a deer stuck in headlights while a man is treating her like garbage is appalling. And the public reaction to this book? Women swooning over Christian Grey — what?! Are you kidding me? I am by no means an in your face feminist – I’m all for a guy opening a door for me, etc. – but ..what?! This is a man you would want your daughter to meet? This is someone you would give the time of day? This is a man to glamorize? I can’t get through a news feed on Facebook without someone naming the dreamy men they want to play Christian in the movie. Too bad Ted Bundy isn’t alive — he would have been fabulous.
I’m disgusted. And that’s all I have to say about this book.
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Like a train wreck, November 13, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
I wanted to finish this book, merely to figure out what the deal is with C. Grey, but I just couldn’t. This book is just awful, I’m surprised it made it to the NYT best seller list. It’s poorly written and incredibly degrading to women.
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Fifty Shades of Bad, May 6, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
I’m not a big fan of “romance” novels (I hope this book isn’t the new definition of romance) … but was hitting the beach for a week and decided to try something a bit new. Exceptional marketing is what is selling this book, and that’s all. If reading about a physically and emotionally abusive, mentally deranged man (who is, of course, a billionaire) who is incapable of any type of meaningful attachment to humans is your bag, this is your book. And if that blockhead girl that dated him (using the term “dated” loosely) bit her lip one more time in one of the fifty shades of crappy pensive moments in this book …. argh …. I didn’t make it through this book. I got to the second act of physical beating and quickly went to the last chapter to find out if the chick would finally get a brain and leave this relationship. Then I left the book on the beach for birds to make a nest out of.
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Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Fifty Types of Boredom, November 14, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Kindle Edition)
Honestly, if you havent read this book, then don’t bother. I dont know what all the fuss is about. Is there a story line in there somewhere?? I think not. Instead, it is ongoing drivel about a sex crazed, rude and egotisical narcissus, who is intent on making a sex slave, for his own depraved sadistic rituals, out of a normal, if somewhat niave, female 20 something, who apparantely has the IQ of a barstool.
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Don’t Waste Your Time or Money, March 23, 2012
By Cecelia E Connally
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
It is amazing to me that hundreds of thousands of women around the country and now around the world are raving about FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. Unfortunately for my Amazon credit card account I was sucked into down loading this book after watching a story about it on Good Morning American. Frankly, I wish I had left home earlier that day and had never seen the story. I then would not have wasted my time and money.
We all know that this is the story of Anastasia Steele who meets Christian Grey, an illusive and wealthy business man. The choice of names in both cases is interesting, especially the name “Christian” for a character who turns out to be kinky, sick, heartless, cruel, evil, sinister and a stalker. And Anastasia Steele who turns out to be anything but strong. Christian should have been on some shrink’s couch or maybe in jail. I admit to looking at the character through eyes much older than that of the main character, but in my book this guy had DANGEROUS painted on his forehead.
And this sicko hooks up with the vulnerable Anastasia who clearly has low self esteem and her own issues. Here is a woman that the author would lead you to believe that went through four years of college from 2007 – 2011 without her own computer – borrowing her roommates the whole time! Give me a break. I don’t care how poor she was she would have had an old desk top or used a computer at the college. Colleges for years have had lap tops to loan out to students and by 2007 most colleges required students to have their own. She constantly borrows her roommates clothes, bascially lives off her and then allows the roommate to treat her like ….. , well you know the word. Roommate Kate, is not a nice person. Anastasia, the 21 year old virgin who claims she has never even had a boy friend has had offers of dates from three very nice men – Jose, the roommates brother Ethan and her employers brother. She turns them all down based on lame excuses.But suddenly Christian Grey comes along and sweeps her off her feet and out of her virginity on the first date. It makes no sense. They were not in love, they are in lust! And Anastasia puts up with it. Throughout the book she puts up with treatment that no sane woman would never accept.
I managed to finish the book, just to see what happpened. The problem is, by the end you find that this is only the first of the trilogy and you have to read more to find out. Frankly, I don’t care. A third of the way into the book I thought I would scream if Anastasia said one more thime that she was “biting her lip” or Christian told her to stop biting her lip. Half way through the book I began to wonder if she still had a lip to bite after all of that biting. The author was also hung up on her putting her hair in a pony tail and her comments about the way Christian’s pants hung on his hips. The phrases were repeated ad-nauseam only with Holy Cow.
It is said that readers like books and movies because they identify with a character in the story. It’s a sad reflection on the American female if they identify with Anastasia. Any sane woman would have got the heck out when he showed her his whip shack and pulled out a written contract and probably contacted the local vice squad. There are to many fine writers and interesting stories out there to waste you time on this piece of worthless trash.
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Initial post: Mar 23, 2012 10:33:35 AM PDT
lissa says:
I agree that it was an awful book, and while you can’t get back the time you wasted reading it, you can at least get your money back thanks to Amazon’s return policy.
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Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilolgy
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Disgusting Book, September 10, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (50 Shades Trilogy) (Paperback)
Due to all of the hype, I kept reading this book hoping to get to the “good part.” Should have ditched it. This story is so degrading to women. No woman should ever allow a man to treat her in the manner that Christian Gray does. Let’s do a favor to our younger and less experienced sisters, daughters and girlfriends and boycott this book series.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
terrible, October 21, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Kindle Edition)
sick book sick book sick book sick book do not read do not read do not read sick people sick people terrible vile disgusting horrible these people need help
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Porn disguised as a novel, October 16, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (50 Shades Trilogy) (Paperback)
This is not literature. It has almost no story and the character development is very poor. The story is simple, sexually naive woman falls for sexual deviant with penchant for abusive, demeaning, mean sex. She thinks she can cure him, tries to rationalize his sickness but ultimately faces the facts. There could not be more than 2 paragraphs of trite predictable plot in this book. The remaining 510 pages are explicit first person accounts of sexual assaults by a pervert on an inexperienced 22 year old woman. If you want to learn about Sado-Masochism, bondage, and generally sick sexual appetites, there are plenty of books out there that do not masquerade as literature. I kept thinking if I continued to read, it would ultimately have some redeeming value, but there is none. The only reason people are buying this book is to “experience” the sex scenes — and then they want company in their embarrassment so they “pass the book on to someone else. I will not be passing mine I through it away(which I never do)And I definitely will not be reading the second or third books. “fool me once”…
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Shades of Regret, September 24, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
After friends and family talked of this book and urged me to read it, I finally gave in and did. Quarter of the way into the book, I should have stuck with my initial plan not to spend money on it but it was already spent.
The story, if that’s what one calls it, lacks depth, emotion, character, meaning and a story line. What it doesn’t lack is the occasional attention to detail; often sickening, warped detail. It’s considered erotic fiction, though personally I didn’t find it erotic nor romantic in the least; I found it disturbing and disgusting.
I wish I didn’t waste my money on this book and I’m thankful that I didn’t buy the trilogy initially as I doubt it will change my mind about this ‘story’.
Lesson learned: go with the gut.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
let down by all the hype, September 17, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
Main character is the poster girl for insecurity. She has no depth, ambition, self-confidence and only finds self worth in chasing after a man that treats her worse than a pet dog. If you have even an inkling of feminism in your body you will hate this book. example… during her college graduation she can only think about “him” being there and looking at her…ugh! Unless your fantasy is to be an unimportant slave to pervy guy because he is attractive and loaded with money this is not a good book. It made me sad to know this was a best seller.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
WTF is happening???, September 17, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
A book about a man abusing a woman, pressuring her to perform sex acts she is not comfortable with, and restricting her self expression until she is the little doll he wants.
So what if he’s rich?
So what if he’s got a big one?
He’s a jerk that TRACKS her cell phone so he knows where she is. Tells her she must do what he wants or he will leave her. Tells her she must stop expressing hesitancy or doubt or he will beat her.
WHY?????
.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
50 Shades of Why Did I Waste My Time, July 15, 2012
By aml211
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
I picked this book up after all the hubba bubba on it and was vastly disappointed. In short, this book is about a messed up, creepy guy who is also a billionaire, smart, handsome, funny, blahblah (basically all these positive things to balance out his sick, perverse, abused side- his true side) and falls in love with a senseless virgin.
The only realistic part of this book is when she SERIOUSLY questions how messed up he is. It’s unfathomable, though, when she continues to say sorry and decide to stay with this creep. (And in my opinion, there is honestly no way to think of this Christian Grey as at all attractive…unless I have an image of Alex Skarsgard in mind, but even then.)
I’m not even going to mention the literary aspect of this novel. Everyone already know it’s terrible.
Overall: *
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Initial post: Jul 16, 2012 7:28:55 AM PDT cinephile126 says: Well put. Ugh, the popularity of this piece of junk is so depressing.
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74 of 77 people found the following review helpful
Ana needs to read “The Gift of Fear”, June 13, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
…and so does anyone who gave this book 5 stars. Seriously, “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin deBecker. Christian Grey is the epitome of a man with violent tendencies. If you (unluckily) meet anyone like him in real life, RUN!
As other reviewers have mentioned, its hard to tell if this author is actually an adult. Surely any sane adult would either have called the cops or at least stopped engaging this psychotic man by now. Seriously the amount of warning signs in this book (couldn’t finish it, so even halfway thru) are horrifying. Her friends and family are worried for her and notice a negative change. She cries all the time. He mistreats her, either verbally or physically, and then apologizes, begs her love, and buys her something expensive. It’s insulting! And the list goes on but others have mentioned it: he tells her what to wear, needs to know where she is at all times, gets insanely jealous at any other male in her vicinity, and does NOT listen to or accommodate her concerns. Any younger readers out there: this is not cute, this s not sexy, this is abuse! Someone out there will treat you well without any of that.
What a waste of my life. the writing and character development were also atrocious.
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Fifty Shades Freed
by E L James
Edition: Paperback
Price: £2.99
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Oh dear…., 30 Sep 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
Dick (always hard) Dastardly, meets Miss Clityrubquick. There’s rolling eyes, lots of holy cr*ps, double..even triple cr*ps (was Batman in this book?), even some ‘Whoa’s’..(The Lone Ranger and Tonto is in there somewhere as well!!)
A slimy tome masquerading as a romance! I have no idea why women are buying into this dross, an abuser, stalker and all round douche bag is what women want in their lives? I despair. Yeah…he’s ‘hot’ and has billions, so that’s okay. This is before I even get on to the appalling writing. Like I say…I despair.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Porn for the secretly submissive and a complete waste of time and money!, March 12, 2012
By Margaret
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Paperback)
I haven’t read a romance novel in decades but decided to download this to my Kindle after reading several reviews elsewhere. I thought it would be a nice break from my heavy diet of Nordic crime fiction. Maybe I’ve been away from the genre too long, but I found this almost unbearable to read. In fact, I found myself fast forwarding to the end because it was so bad. The characters are wholly unbelievable and unlikeable, particularly the object of the heroine’s affections – he’s not only a jerk but also a sadomasicist. I cannot believe anyone would find this an entertaining read – it’s too stupid to be erotic and too sick and twisted to be romantic.
Overall:*
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Location: Saint Charles, MO, United States
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Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James 17 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Deeply Disturbing, March 6, 2012
I’m seriously worried about the people who rave about this book! Christian Grey is a psycho stalker. This isn’t erotic, it’s scary and usually winds up with one person dead and the other in jail. This book is disturbing on so many levels. Don’t waste your money reading about a woman who can’t tell the difference between love and victimization.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Incredibly disturbing, frustrating & unbelievable.., May 2012
I read book 1 after all of my Mommy friends were flat out raving about this book. I can’t say it enough: this is DISTURBING reading material to any female who considers herself a strong, independent woman. The main male character spanks the female lead twice in the first book, to the point of tears. They repeatedly have sex (maybe 5 times a day!) and while graphic, I felt so much anger at the male lead, I was disgusted. Why was I disgusted: He gets mad at her for rolling her eyes, she must call him “sir” and he tracks her down (“stalking”) numerous times while she is out and about or if she wants to go visit family, he gets upset. And this is romantic?! He has serious, serious issues and I promise, if you have ever experienced an aggressive boyfriend or you are a strong, independent woman, you very well may hate these books. It sickens me to think a woman repeatedly consents to this behavior by a man, just because they are incredibly sexually compatible (to the point of being totally unbelievable). We wonder what’s wrong with the world today? This is a best seller that everyone is raving about but it is so appalling and disturbing. The aggression by the male lead, the “stalking” that they make light of and the dominant/submissive sex r’ship is glorified. I PROMISE that if you want a nice, graphic read without such craziness, try “The Black Dagger Brotherhood,”. This book is just pure trash that is VERY disturbing. Not worth a dime…even if everyone talks you into it!
Alison C. Peters
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11 of 19 people found the following review helpful
wont be reading the sequel, March 13, 2012
By AmberThis review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Paperback)
Degrading to women. A man that takes pleasure in giving women physical pain. No thanks. E. L. James is a very mediocre writer. Wish there had been more of a plot, suspense, something. Felt I was just reading porn. Money wasted. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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Comments
Initial post: Mar 22, 2012 9:41:34 AM PDT
geneva says:
Amazon will give you a refund. I got my money back!
Your post: Mar 26, 2012 4:35:22 AM PDT
Thank You Amber, at least you and a few other reviewers on here have some sanity! Also it isn’t just the man getting pleasure in causing the woman phyical and emotional pain,but she’s portrayed as a masochist who loves to be sexually abused by him!
There is *Nothing* “erotic” about men’s sexual violence,domination and hatred of women! Only in a sick woman-hating pornographic patriarchy is it twistedly considered so! It’s so disturbing that very few people men and women even recognize this,and say things such as,like it’s really surprising that women like sex,or like to read about erotic literature, so they disturbingly define sex as men sexually using and abusing women,and the woman loving it,and male dominane and female submission.
This isn’t an erotic book that has an equal loving affectionate relationship between women and men(which is so rare in this society!) that just has graphic sex described.
And sadly in the sexist,gender divided,gender stereotyped woman-hating,pornographic male dominated society we live in,many women are socalized to be masochists for men,and from the time they are girls they see women and girls presented in ads,mainstream movies and pornography nothing but sex objects and victims to be used and abused by men,and this is sexualized as it is in this pornographic book!
I have read sexist woman-haters(including some women) say on message boards that the popularity of this book with women proves that women want to be sexually dominated and that this male dominance and female submission is natural and that women like to be used and abused. One woman-hater said,the Dice man was right,(he was referring to the once very popular woman-hating comedian Andrew Dice Clay) treat women as the pigs that they are. And other men agreed with him.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Didn’t know there could be fifty shades of boring til now, August 1, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
This book is in one word…dull. I read about 200 pages when I couldnt take it anymore and skipped to the last 50 pages (something I have never done before). Yes… It was painfully boring with uninteresting, unlikable characters. Nothing drew me into Ana’s pathetic little world of idiocity. She is the saddest excuse of a “heroine” since…ever. She’s more of a victim really with no one to save her from Christian or HERSELF. I don’t need to get into the details. Many other reviews give enough intel on her.
About Christian…what has happened to some women in our society that they would actually want a man like Christian grey?!?!?!? There are women who have reviewed this book that have stated they “want to find their christian grey”. Being a strong independent woman in her 30s…this baffles and saddens me. He is an abusive, mentally disturbed, lunatic that should be in a padded cell. Rich and handsome is not always sexy. Christian is a dirtbag. He is not a sexy man or an alpha hero…forget about romantic. For me…Christian is the villain of the story. I recently read a novella by Pamela Clare titled Skin Deep in which the hero is a ex-marine whose left side was disfigured from a bomb blast during war. It was a sweet and sexy story (there is a dark side) with a message explained by the title and I couldn’t put it down.
Considering the rest of the reviews commented on the lack of editing, the repetitions in the writing and the juvenile writing style, there’s nothing else to say about this.
To those looking to read 50 shades…it’s up to you. Personally I don’t understand the hype surrounding this series, but you’re opinion may be different than mine. Good luck.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
fifty shades of grey, September 6, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
i thought this was absolute rubbish! In the real world, this man would be in jail for treating a woman in such a disgusting manner and any woman to go along with such torture, must be two slices short of a sandwich.Sure I know it is fiction, but even fiction should have some sense of possible reality.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Fifty shades of gray, October 11, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
Very disappointed. I expected much better in a best seller. When is this kind of abuse ok? I couldn’t finish. It makes me sick to my stomach.
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Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
by E. L. James
Edition: Paperback
Price: $8.77
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Abysmal, July 15, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
I decided to read this due to all of the notoriety it has been receiving. I ask, “Why?” It explores a sadistic and depraved man who deflowers a naive and insecure young girl. What angered me is that she was stupid enough to allow it. Did she have that little self respect? The premise was stupid, and by the end of the fifth chapter, (I quit reading it after that) came to the conclusion that they deserved each other.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Don’t waste your time!, November 3, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Audible Audio Edition)
Terrible, sad and abusive story! Don’t waste your time!! I just finished the first book, tore all 3 up and threw them in the paper recycling! I won’t even give them away free!! I love romantic stories, but not this one!!!
I can’t believe this is a best seller!! I hope the movie never makes it out. I’d hate for young girls to read this or see the movie and think that this kind of abuse is ok!!!
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678 of 704 people found the following review helpful
“Fifty Shades” of really bad, May 1, 20 By Kate August “Bookdweller”
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
Holy Cow! Triple crap! My inner goddess just kicked the stuffing out of me for finishing “50 Shades” of the worst book ever written; my psyche may never recover. I’m sure this must be some type of hoax perpetrated by a 10th grader, with unsupervised access to the internet, because it’s hard to believe that an adult actually wrote this drivel. Simply put, the characters are flat and uninteresting, the dialog is beyond childish, and the writing is sophomoric. Oh, and the book has no plot. I’ve never read a book with no plot before, and in the future, I’ll try to avoid reading another.
I will say I’m not a fan of the subject matter, but I have read books by talented authors that have explored the subject matter , and I really enjoyed them. Go figure! Maybe it was the fact that the books were well written, with a storyline that had a purpose.
I have a thing about violence against women. About women that are abused, demoralized, and dehumanized for the enjoyment of others; call it a silly quirk of mine. There is nothing fun, or flirty , or sexy about the BDSM in this book. This man enjoys inflicting pain on woman for his enjoyment, he states it over and over. The hero *cough, cough* wants to inflict as much pain on this girl as she can tolerate for his pleasure. He stalks an innocent, young woman, and then spends the entire book trying to convince her that it’s a freeing experience to be hurt and humiliated, and how much she’ll enjoy the experience. I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. This man is no romantic hero, and he is beyond flawed. I’ll stick with writers whose alpha males are flawed, but don’t need to abuse women for their enjoyment.
I must say, that reading the smart and clever reviews has been more enjoyable that reading this book. ~Kate August
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Showing 11-20 of 32 posts in this discussion
In reply to an earlier post on Jun 25, 2012 12:08:04 PM PDT
J. Beardsley says:
I could not agree more. It’s appalling that in this day and age this book is striking (no pun intended), a chord with so many women. The American woman seems to be under assault – in the workforce, in the arena of health issues, and culturally -(how thin do you have to be?).
And it’s so badly written it’s painful. ugh.
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Posted on Jun 25, 2012 12:11:49 PM PDT
J. Beardsley says:
I must point out that there is a great YouTube video of Gilbert Godfried reading 50 Shades – and it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages – it was a little palate cleanser for the spirit after this dumb, depressing book.
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In reply to an earlier post on Jun 29, 2012 5:26:45 AM PDT
Jenny Seymour says:
I was going to buy the book, but have had such fun reading the brilliantly written (unlike the book apparently!) reviews, including yours, I’ve decided not to bother!
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Posted on Jun 29, 2012 9:27:22 AM PDT
nco says:
Great review! And I agree, reading these reviews has brought more satisfaction to me than any page in that book! I am shocked that women actually find something romantic or erotic about this book. The lead male clearly has a deep hate for women and he feels the need to hurt them to bring him satisfaction and somehow that is a turn on? It’s bad enough the author wrote a book glorifying abuse and manipulation but for so many women to enjoy it is simply disturbing.
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Posted on Jul 4, 2012 6:10:35 PM PDT
M. Cobb says:
As a woman who has been with a man who tried to get me into BDSM, PLEASE don’t let this book sucker you into thinking it is somehow an enjoyable or thrilling lifestyle. It’s painful, dehumanizing, and makes you feel like you are nothing more than your partner’s sex toy for his enjoyment. I was lucky enough to escape from that relationship before things got really bad, but a lot of girls aren’t so lucky. I ended up meeting a lot of “submissives” (all women) who were basically brainwashed into believing they had no choice. The roleplay aspect of it is so convincing that if you don’t have a really strong type-A personality like I do, you can wind up getting trapped in the situation. It’s really sad. One girl had even given up her college education to become her partner’s “sex slave”. 🙁
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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
Fifty Shades of Lame, July 18, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
A bestseller? SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! This is so not deserving of even one star.
Plot summary: BDSM Dominant hot bajillionaire with a perfect body and freakishly long manicured fingers stalks innocent college virgin who gapes, gasps, and says, “Oh crap.” He in turn inhales sharply, growls, and makes her eat. She flushes (her face, not the toilet) and bites her lip while her “inner goddess” performs ridiculous Olympic-worthly stunts. She orgasms every five minutes from his grey eyes alone and every time on command (if only ladies, if only), then with his mouth in a grim line she breaks up with him for spanking her with a belt. She cries.
Ugh. First off, what a gross description of his hands! That detail alone bothered me throughout the whole book. The time line is awful (it covers what, two weeks or something?), Christian should be on medication for his Parkinson’s (*twitch, twitch*), and you’d think they’d run into a wall more often with all the eye rolling and narrowing. Considering they have sex twice a day every day you would assume that Christian has the stamina of a racehorse. Nope, he’s a three pump chump! Who wants to bet on a horse that tires at the first turn? Honestly. It shouldn’t be considered an erotic novel when the author used copy and paste and neglected to use her built-in thesaurus.
Overall, the author attempted to sexualize and romanticize a completely jealous control freak, giving losers all across the globe hope of ruining a perfectly normal girl. Now girls are clamoring over the idea of having a jealous control freak who has to beat the crap out of their partner to get off, woe them with helicopters, cars, Blackberries and spankings. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
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Lazycatfish “CE Wallis” (YorK UK)
22 of 23 people found the following review helpful
What a pile of discarded panties, June 28, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
Oh My, I mean really, Oh my, oh my, oh my……No readers, I have not just been whipped (pardon the pun) into a bosom heaving wreck by the size of my partner’s “impressive length”. I have in fact, just dragged myself through to the final page of this ludicrous nonsense and found myself almost speechless. Almost…
The main character, Christian Grey, is quite obviously deranged. This does not however, deter Ana, who for some inexplicable reason, has spent so long with her head in a book that she has never looked in a mirror and noticed that she is a “total babe”. A “total babe” who also happens to be a 21 year old virgin. No, Ana, in the space of 3 weeks, falls so crazily in love with “Mr Grey” that she manages to bypass the whole deranged thing and instead concentrates all her efforts on a) going from virgin to porn star faster than Hussain Bolt off the blocks and b) deciding whether to let him hit her with stuff. As you do.
As for Mr Grey, obviously, readers can’t be allowed to see him as simply a deranged, manipulative psycho so let’s give him smouldering good looks, a few zillion quid to throw around and hey, and this is the clincher, the ability to love art and music (y’know, like Nazis do in the war films). (Note – the bit where he plays the “haunting” piano piece, semi naked, with his eyes closed actually made me laugh so much that I almost wet myself – in a non-orgasmic way. Check it out….enjoy! ). As if that wasn’t enough he also has a personal and financial interest in saving the world from famine. Just that old world peace and cancer to sort out and then hey, job’s a good `un. I mean really, how did the world ever shamble along without him? So what made this beautiful, charismatic and talented man so brutal? Could it be a traumatic childhood perhaps? Why, yes I think it could…yaaaaawn….
So, the 2 beautiful people come together (Oh my, another pun) and the rest of the book is basically about Ana wondering if she should let him hit her with stuff and then letting him hit her with stuff and Mr Grey wondering if he should stop hitting her with stuff but still hitting her with stuff while she whines on about wanting “more” love and less of the hitting stuff and he whines on about how he doesn’t know how to give “more” cos he has only ever hit people with stuff.
In between these nonsensical blatherings they have lots of sex, which, like piano playing, speaking foreign languages and making zillions of quid, he possesses boundless expertise. Obviously. Luckily, virginal Ana also has her “inner Goddess” to guide her on the art of sex play and soon becomes an orgasm machine, chucking them out all over the place in a rampant, fevered haze of lust. So much so that she overlooks Mr Grey’s general bastardry and bends over nicely for a few beatings. She is also too enraptured to take much notice his incessant stalking, which would have got lesser men arrested. Oh, and his `feeder’ tendencies that, if successful, would have surely added a good 10 stone onto Ana’s lovely buttocks which in turn would have incurred the cost of a refurb’ to the `red room of pain’ when his ceiling shackles needed reinforcing. Luckily he can afford it.
As many other readers have noted, the writing is appallingly poor and, if you removed the sex bits, would resemble a love struck teenager’s diary. It’s all been said before so I won’t dwell on it. I will just say, if you are looking for erotic fiction, look elsewhere, if you are looking for an unintentionally laugh out loud bit of fluff and nonsense then crack open a bottle, put your feet up and prepare to be amused. Personally I would just say that there goes a day of my life that I will never get back. Oh my!
Profile for Julie Ritter ReviewsJulie Ritter’s Profile Customer Reviews: 1
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Worst read ever!, September 22, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
This has got to be the worst book I’ve ever attempted to read. I don’t like to write bad reviews, as a matter of fact, this is the first bad review I’ve written. I’m really not sure what all the hype is about, Christian Grey is a weird a-hole and it is all incredibly unbelievable. The whole contract, submission and punishment chapters turned my stomach. The only audience who found this book to be so great must never had dealt with narcissistic people. Those of us who have been unfortunate enough to have been involved with such self centered people would have and most likely did find this book revolting. That’s the best I can say about this book!!
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10 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Disgusting, April 3, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
I didn’t even get half-way through this book. I contacted Amazon and they promptly removed it from my Kindle and credited my account.
I cannot imagine the author would put her name on trash like this. And indeed it was extremely poorly written as far as I read. There are sick people in the world and if they enjoyed this book, they are indeed sicker than they thought.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Sick, July 13, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
I was offended and removed it from my reader. I was disturbed by it and would not let this occupy a place in my mind.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
More like shades of black, September 10, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (50 Shades Trilogy) (Paperback)
This book gave me nightmares. Bondage—-really? American women are ga ga over this book and I just don’t understand. A great step forward for Satan and a greater step back for women.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Fifty Shades of Gray, September 12, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
I thought it was totally disgusting. I can’t imagine anyone writing a book such as this without a sick mind. I would not recommend this book to anyone.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
50 Shades of Gray, October 10, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
This was the most filthy book I have ever read and I have deleted it off my Kindle. I sure wish I had my $10.00 back. I never thought it would be that disgusting. The writer must be sick in the head to write the book. No more of that stuff for me. Joanne Foster
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Fifty Shades of Grey, September 6, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
This book should be XXXX rated. It is perverted and disgusting, plus degrading to women. I have no idea how it got on the best seller list!
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Someone please buy the author a thesaurus!!!, July 10, 2012
By Danny JacobsThis review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
For months now I’ve heard nothing but amazing reviews about this book. It’s all I’ve heard about recently. Then I started hearing all of the controversy behind it and my curiosity sucked me in. It took me five tries and much skimming to complete this horrible book.
First let me start off – I am not a prude and the sex in this isn’t what turned me off. However, that really is all there is to this book. There isn’t much of a storyline at all to follow. It really is just sex and their toxic, abusive “relationship”. Which brings me to how shocked I am that so many women are drooling over Christian and claiming that this book has improved their marriage. I can only assume that these are women with very low self esteem and in a very unstable and unhealthy marriage. I’m still baffled at how a mentally ill man who likes to beat women and control everything about their daily lives down to what to eat, how often to exercise and what to wear could possibly be seen as sexy or “amazing”. It disturbs me on so many levels.
Besides the lack of substance, it is also very poorly written. The author really needs a thesaurus. By the middle of the book I was tired of the handful of phrases/words that Ana had going on in her sad little head – “holy *expletive*”, “inner goddess” and “erotic”. I skimmed and skipped a lot as much of the book was very repetitive and annoying to the point that I visibly cringed and rolled my eyes.
I’m just thankful that I didn’t waste money on this sad piece of “literature”. Thank goodness for the library! Unless you like reading a whole lot of nothing – don’t waste your money. If you feel that you must see what all of the silly over-rated hype is about, hit up your local library. You may have to put it on hold and wait for it to be available but don’t worry, you really aren’t missing anything. If you loved the book – you really should read more often.
Overall:*
Danny,you are *SO* right,thank you for being in the minority of sane people in this *insane* woman-hating world! Except you said that your’e not a prude and the sex isn’t what turned you off. In this novel just like in typical visual pornography,the sadistic,woman-hating violent man’s violence and brutalizing of the woman,and the male dominance and female submission,which is the epitome of sexist gender inequality, is what is sexualized,normalized and eroticized as the *SEX*!
Please check out brilliant radical feminists like law professor Catherine MacKinnon’s great book of transcribed 1980’s speeches,in Feminism Unmodified,and acclaimed author John Stoltenberg’s speeches also from the 1980’s about this in his excellent important book,Refusing To Be A Man:Essays On Sex And Justice,he’s a pro-feminist man who co-founded Men Against Pornography In New York.
Danny Jacobs
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This woman is a social worker who works with domestic violence victims
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful
The next green river serial killer. Good sex is accompanied by love., April 3, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
The story has a good premise when it started but soon became redundant. It reminded me of how many would be serial killers started their careers. “Oh My”. The hero, Christian, is self centered, egotistical and needs some serious mental health counseling. This man would have been on multiple agency lists for being mentally unbalanced and potentially dangerous. The next “green river” killer. Folks, this is the story of many a serial killer and how they start out. It’s sad to me that women see this as normal and desirable. Good sex is when you love someone so much you become as one. If you like an abusive, twisted relationship then this is for you. I hope impressionable young people don’t get their hands on this. This is not a healthy relationship and not representative of “good sex” in my opinion. I can’t imagine a more hideous dysfunctional relationship. I have never given less than 4 stars on a review but this book takes abusive relationships to a new height.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Triple Crap!, July 26, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
This is a total piece of rubbish from beginning to page 150 – where I finally stopped torturing myself. If you like poorly written, repetitive, excruciatingly slow stories about nothing in particular, mixed with a lot of sex in which Ana sounds like a pirate (she actually says “Aargghh!” every time they do it), then by all means, pick up this book. Otherwise, don’t even bother. I wish I could give this “book” zero stars because it really is that awful.
For me, there is not one redeeming quality to it. Both characters are one dimensional, even though she tries to get us to believe Christian is sooooo deep. He has issues with food, issues with women, issues, issues, issues. This book is nothing more than 500 pages of drivel about how badly a man can treat a woman, and how long she will stay with him through it all. It has nothing to do with real BDSM relationships (not that I know much about that, but from what people are saying this “book” is a very poor representation). It is an extremely dangerous thing to send this kind of message to women. This man is sick. He is not about love, he is about pain. He is not about mutual pleasure, he is about HIS pleasure. Don’t we have enough of that in this world already?
Spoiler Alert: I have read a lot of websites that have reviewed this book and laughed out loud at their interpretation of it (they hated it too)! Toward the end of the book there is a scene where he literally plucks a tampon from her hoo-ha. That is not sexy, no matter what scenario it happens in.
I can’t believe this is a best seller! More importantly I can’t believe all the woman out there drooling over this man and saying that’s how a woman should be treated! I have actually had women say that to me. It’s sad.
I could go on and on about how awful this is, but if you really want to read it, what difference does it make what I think? If you do pick it up, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
There was a university of Pennsylvania student who was gang raped in 1990 after college men watched porn videos in their dorms.And I still have a 1985 letter written into Mademoiselle Magazine by a woman who wrote in response to Peter Nelson’s His Column,Why Nice Guys Like Playboy,she wrote from Allendale New Jersey,”I just finished reading Peter Nelson’s His Column.Peter Nelson is certainly no nice guy,nor is any participant in pornography, a trade which profits from the exploitation of women.Why I must ask does a so-called “womans’ magazine” feature editorials which support misogyny? Mr.Nelson’s callous disregard for women is evident in his neglect to face the fact that pornography promotes rape and violence .I know,because my best friend was raped by four men who used pornography as a reference guide.
There were several articles that were online from MIT’s newspaper The Tech from 1983,1984 and 1985 about how women were being sexually harassed year after year in the 1980’s after men watched hardcore porn videos on campus at the university lecture hall and because of the sexual harassment of women students after the showings. Rhea from the sadly former Women’s Alliance Against Pornography Education Project in Cambridge,sent me a lot of research on the harms of pornography back in 1991.One of the things she sent me included information that North Carolina State Representavie Richard Wright-Democrat,while announcing enactment of anti-pornography legislation he sponsored,cited a N.C. State Police study which found:defendants in 75% of the violent sex crimes in the state”had some kind of hard-core pornographic material” in their homes or vechicles.”I’m talking about S&M (sadistic & masochistic)material,bondage he said,that came from The New York Times 1/26/86 &10/13/85;The Virginian Pilot 10/20/85 and the articles were contributed by Alexandra Basil,Ray Lynn Oliver;Barbara Sparrow.
The information also included a study conducted by the Michigan State Police in which 38,000 sexual assaults from 1956 to 1979 were analyzed found that in at least 41% of those crimes,pornography was used or imitated just prior to or during the act this came from Ladies Home Journal October 1985.The information Rhea sent me also included that a study of 36 convicted sexually oriented murderers/serial killers,found the single most common trait amongst them was 81% listed their primary sexual interest as pornography,71% voyeurism.The study’s objective,conducted by the FBI’s behavioral science unit in Quantico,Virginia,was to develop a psychological profile on sex killers in order to track them faster.The researchers concluded,after interviews with the 36 who collectively provided information on 1,188 murders,that the killers were characteristically immeresed in fantasy,this came from NY Daily News 6/26/85 and This World 7/14/85.
Acclaimed radical feminist psychologist Phyllis Chesler says in her book,Patriarchy:Notes Of An Expert Witness that serial killers are obesessed with pornography and woman hatred and sexually use their victims both before and after killing them,and she said most wife beaters,pedophiles, and serial killers of women are addicted to pornography. Nobody would need to do studies
to prove that racist and anti-semetic pornography is very harmful to Blacks and Jews and it never would have been mainstreamed and made acceptable!
Dr.Gene Abel who treats sex offenders also found that more than 50% of sex offenders used pornography and that they were less able to control their abusive behavior than sex offenders who didn’t use it. Psychiatrist Dr.William Marshall who treats rapists and child molesters,found that 86% of rapists regularly use pornography and that 57% imitate pornographic scenes in the commiting of their crimes he also found that in a study of convicted child molesters in Ontario Canada,77% of those who molested boys and 87% of those who molested girls said they were regular users of hard-core pornography.
Psychiatrist Park Elliott Dietz On Porn Harms
In 1994 I wrote to psychiatrist Dr.Linnea Smith about my experience and the harms of pornography. She wrote me back a very nice note and thanked me for my important efforts to educate people on the harms of porn. She said it’s especially difficult because the public is desensitzed and the media is reluctant to crititicize other media especially sexually explicit media. She sent me two huge folders full of important information on the harms including Playboy cartoons of women being sexually harassed in the workplace by their male bosses!
One of the many things she sent me was a transcribed lecture by psychiatrist and law professor Dr.Park Elliott Dietz, and this lecture was given before the National Conference of State Legislators on August 5 1986 and was videotaped by C-Span. Dr. Dietz served as a commissioner on the Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography. He was professor of law,professor of Behavioral Medicine and Psychiatry,and Medical Director of The Institute of Law,Psychiatry and Medical Director of The Institute of Law,Psychiatry and Public Policy at The University of Virginia School of Law and School of Medicine.
He gave many examples of women and children’s testimonies who were sexually abused by men who used pornography,and also women who were sexually harassed on the job with pornographic pictures hung up on the walls and shown to them. He said he only used a small sample of the 1000’s of women and children who testified. He says many times that pornography is a health problem and human rights issue and he said one of the reasons is because so much of it teaches false,misleading,and even dangerous information about human sexuality.
This is what he said a person would learn about sexuality from pornography, “A person who learned about human sexuality in the “adults only” pornography outlets of America would be a person,who had never conceived of a man and woman marrying or even falling in love before having intercourse,who had never conceived of two people making love in privacy without guilt or fear of discovery,who had never conceived of tender foreplay,who had never conceived of vaginal intercourse with ejaculation during intromission,and who had never conceived of procreation as a purpose of sexual union.,
Instead,such a person would be one who had learned that sex at home meant sex with one’s children,stepchildren,parents,stepparents,siblings,cousins,nephews,nieces,aunts,uncles,and pets,and with neighbors,milkmen,plumbers,salesmen,burglars,and peepers,who had learned that people take off their clothes and have sex within the first 5 minutes of meeting one another,who had learned to misjudge the percentage of women who prepare for sex by shaving their pubic hair,having their breasts,buttocks or legs tattooed,having their nipples or labia pierced,or donning leather,latex,rubber,or childlike costumes,who had learned to misjudge the proportion of men who prepare for sex by having their genitals or nipples pierced,wearing women’s clothing,or growing breasts.
Who had learned that about 1 out of 5 sexual encounters involves spankning,whipping,fighting,wrestling,tying,chaining,gagging,or torture,who had learned that more than 1 in 10 sexaul acts involves a party of more than 2,who had learned that the purpose of ejaculation is that of soiling the mouths,faces,breasts,abdomens,backs,and food at which it’s always aimed,who had learned that body cavities were designed for the insertion of foreign objects,who had learned that the anus was a genital to be licked and penetrated,who had learned that urine and excrement are erotic materials,who had learned that the instruments of sex chemicals,handcuffs,gags,hoods,restraints,harnesses,police badges,knives,guns,whips,paddles,toilets,diapers,enema bags,inflatable rubber women,and disembodied vaginas,breasts,and penises,who had learned that except with the children,where secrecy was required,photographers and cameras were supposed to be present to capture the action so that it could be spread abroad.
If these were the only adverse consequences of pornography,the most straightforward remedy would be to provide factually accurate information on human sexuality to people before they are exposed to pornography,if only we could agree on what that information is,on who should provide it to the many children whose parents are incapable of doing so,and on effective and acceptable means by which to ensure that exposure not precede education. In the absense of such a remedy,the probable consequences in this area alone are sufficient to support recommendations that would reduce the dissemination of that pornography which teaches false,misleading or dangerous information about human sexuality. And these are not the only adverse consequences of pornography.
He then says before he gives more examples and research,that pornography is a health problem and human rights issue because it increases the probability that members of the exposed population will acquire attitudes that are detrimental to the physical and mental health of both those exposed and those around them,pornography is a health problem and human rights issue because it is used as an instrument of sexual abuse and sexual harassment.
And look where we are now! And all of the porn users and supporters and defenders of the sick, sexist,woman-hating pornography are actually *proving* Dr.Gail Dines and others like her are *so* right that so many people including unfortunately many women have been so influenced and desensitized by the sexualized,normalized, and eroticized, extremely sexist,sick,dehumanizing,violent,cruel horrendous typical pornography that has been so unjustly,and wrongly mainstreamed that she describes in painfully extensive disturbing details! It’s clear that the people who use and love this horrendous extremely sick,sexist,degrading,cruel,violent,horrendous pornogphy don’t want the truth about it to be recognized and don’t want to stop using it!That is why they deny the reality of pornography and defend it!
Mark Wukas wrote in the Chicago Tribune March 21 1993 that back in 1989 research by psychologist Dr.James Check at York University’s psychology department Toronto Canada found 29% of boys indicated that pornography was the most useful source of sex information including school,parents teachers and peers.He said that to find out what children were learning from the pornography, Check devised a questionnaire that asked under what circumstances is it OK for a boy to hold a girl down and force her to have sexual intercourse. Check found that 43 percent of the boys and 16% of the girls said that holding a woman down and forcing sexual intercourse is at least maybe OK if she gets him sexually excited.His findings also found that one third of 14-year old boys and 2% of girls watch video pornography regularly.
Also, Robert Jensen explains in his great important book,Getting Off:Pornography And The End Of Masculinity that whatever the genesis of the cum shot in the history of pornography we can ask why it continues.He then asks what does the cum shot mean? He says in one of the first films he watched for his study of pornography was the 1990 porn video Taboo VIII and one of the male characters offers an answer.He says that when this man refuses the request of a woman(whom he feels is a slut) to have intercourse with her he tells her,”I don’t f*ck sluts I jerk off on them.Take it or leave it.” He then ejaculates on her breasts.Robert Jensen says that this suggests that ejaculating onto a woman is a method by which she is turned into a slut,something -not really someone-whose purpose is to be sexual with men.He then says ejaculating onto her body marks her as a “slut” which in pornography is synonymous with “woman”.
He then says that that assessment was echoed by a veteran of the pornography industry ( former porn star and director Bill Margold),who told an interviewer:I’d like to really show what I believe the men want to see:violence against women.I firmly believe that we serve a purpose by showing that.The most violent we can get is the cum shot in the face.Men get off behind that,because they get even with the women they can’t have.We try to inundate the world with orgasms in the face.
Bill Morgold also said,My whole reason for being in the Industry is to satisfy the desire of the men in the world who basically don’t care for women and want to see the men in my Industry getting even with the women they couldn’t have when they were growing up.I strongly believe this,and the Industry hates me for saying it…So when we come on a woman’s face or somewhat brutalize her sexually :we’re getting even for their lost dreams.I believe this.I’ve heard audiences cheer me when I do something foul on screen.When I’ve strangled a person,or brutalized a person,the audience is cheering my action,and then when I’ve fulfilled my warped desire,the audience applauds.
Feminist anti-porn educator Sociologist Dr.Gail Dines said that many of her female students told her that their boyfriends are constantly pressuring them to the things they see in pornography,that they have seen it in the pornograohy and now they want to experience it in real life.She said that many young women are so desperate to have a man in their lives that they will often give in and do these things even though their instincts are telling them don’t do it.
Dr.Chyng Sun also reports that many women have told her that their boyfriends and husbands are constantly asking them to the things they have seen in pornography and they don’t want to.On quite a few message boards over the years I have seen posts by men asking women if they like to have or will let their boyfriends or husbands cum on their faces like they do in the porn videos.One women made a topic about 7 years ago called,Some Men’s Disgusting Obsession and she said her boyfriend constantly wants her to let him ejaculate on her face and she said she feels it’s disgusting and degrading and she said he watches a lot of porn videos and she knows that’s where he got the idea. A guy responded and said that a lot of young men are watching a lot of pornography on the internet today and they learn to think it’s sexy to ejaculate on a woman’s face or body.
Another guy posted on an “Adult” Site where they had advice questions and answers and he posted that he ejaculated on his girlfriend’s face and she was very angry and upset and she left him for good.But he couldn’t understand why and what he did wrong because he said his girl friend was always wild in bed and he said he watches a lot of porn videos and all of the porn stars love facials.On LoveShack.org a guy said that he and other men he knew said that it never occurred or appealed to them to ejaculate on a woman’s face or body,only inside her vaginally,until they saw it in pornography.Many women have also said their husbands and boyfriends are pressuring them to have anal sh-thole sex after seeing women in pornography portrayed as if they love it.
Also some years ago on an advice site for teens I don’t remember the name of it,a teenage guy made a topic,asking the girls which part of their bodies is their favorite to have their boyfriends c-m on. So one teen girl said that she finds semen really gross,but if her boyfriend is acting good,sometimes she lets him ejaculate on her breasts. A teen guy says to the guy who posted the topic,dude you’ve been watching way too much porn.
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/2002/mar/02031203
Major Study by University Of Calgary Psychology Professor Dr.Claudio Violato and His Colleagues Of Over 12,000 people Found Pornography harmful
I emailed Dr.Violato back in 2003 about his great major study and my concerns about pornography.He emailed me back and he said that there is no question that pornography is unhealthy and harmful for people,but he said the porn industry isn’t going to tell the truth to the public because all they care about is making money!
The Daily Illini
The Independent Student Newspaper
Column: Pornography: a vicious cycle
Dan Mollison
Updated: October 26th, 2005 – 12:00 AM
Tagged with: Dan Mollison, Person Email Address, Technology, Opinions
What part of the entertainment industry is bigger than the NFL, the NBA and the MLB combined?
You guessed it – it’s pornography. The porn industry has grown into a $10 billion a year business, with some of our nation’s best-known corporations – including General Motors, AOL Time Warner, Marriott, Hilton and Westin – silently raking in big profits from pornography without mentioning it in their company records. Pornography has become so pervasive that in 2003, Americans spent more money on porn than they did on going to see Hollywood movies.
Even though pornography stretches into the homes of millions of Americans, we don’t openly talk about it much. We’re even less likely to discuss how those who use pornography – who are primarily men – might be affected by seeing these images. I recently had the opportunity to be part of such a discussion, and I came away from it with a new perspective on how the men in my life, including myself, have been impacted by our exposure to pornography. When men choose to use porn, their lives and relationships pay the price.
I was at Indiana University for a men’s conference on sexual assault prevention last weekend, and we talked about pornography’s influence on men. We focused on the type of pornography that is consumed the majority of the time, the graphic material that depicts a man – or men – sexually dominating a woman. These films usually include a standard series of sex acts including oral, vaginal and anal penetration, which are often performed while the men call the women by a multitude of derogatory names. While they’re being penetrated, women are expected to say over and over again how much they like the sex. And when the man reaches orgasm, he will typically ejaculate on the woman’s body, sometimes on her face.
These sex scenes convey to viewers the idea that women are not human but rather are objects to be used by men to satisfy male sexual desires. In order for a man to get pleasure from watching a woman being verbally, sexually and sometimes physically abused, he has to deny the woman’s humanity. If he’s thinking about the fact that this woman has the same feelings, relationships with loved ones, dreams and aspirations as his mother, his sisters and his female friends, there is no way he would be aroused by a scene in which a man treats a woman like garbage as he’s penetrating her; he’d find it sickening. Pornography dehumanizes women, and when a man is exposed to it for a long period of time, it becomes easier for him to ignore the humanity of the women in his life.
One of the men at the conference shared how his past experiences with pornography have had a deep impact on his life. Like many of his peers, he was first exposed to pornography in middle school, years before he would have his first serious sexual experience with a woman. Pornography offered him a rare glimpse into the world of sex that nobody was talking about, and because he wasn’t given accurate information about what sex was like, he started to believe that the acts he had been witnessing in pornography – of men sexually dominating women – is what sex is supposed to be. He then carried these beliefs into his romantic relationships, and caused his partners, and himself, a lot of undue grief.
This experience has become a downright common one for men, and it’s truthfully a hard bind to be in. Pornography offers men a taste of something they can never have, a feeling of being completely in control. But when men return from these fantasies to a world that doesn’t always go their way, they crave the feeling of being powerful even more; and they may even seek it out in their relationships.
To me, being a man means accepting that I won’t always get my way in life. It’s difficult to escape from the trap that pornography sets on men, but it will always be more satisfying – and more manly – to respect women, rather than use them.
Dan Mollison is a junior in LAS. His column appears every Wednesday. He can be reached at opinions@dailyillini.com.
MIT Female Students Were Sexually Harassed Year After Year By Male Students Right After They Watched A Hardcore Porn Film On Registration Day From The Early-mid 1980’s
http://tech.mit.edu/V104/PDF/V104-N59.pdf
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1984 The Tech PAGE 3
At MIT, it is now well documented
by women students, dormitory
housemasters, dormitory
tutors, and freshman faculty advisors that sexual harassment and abuse of women students occurs immediately before and after the showing of pornographic films.
Women who were unclear about
what pornography is have been
coerced by peer pressure and by
force into seeing the films.
Afterward women have been forcibly thrown into showers, subjected to detailed recounting of scenes from the film and to an increase in sexually demeaning comments and jokes. These and other actions clearly create an atmosphere
which is specifically
threatening to women. Even
without these actions, pornography
as a traditional event that
portrays the sexual, objectification
and abuse of women is in itself
harassment of women.
My objection to pornography
is not an objection to some bad
ideas floating around in some
people’s heads, but to concrete
violations of women’s civil rights.
Elizabeth,.J. Salkind ’85
_M PAGE 4 The Tech TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1984
This is a great 1992 article by former porn using MIT college student Rich Cowan and he talks about how MIT female students were often sexually harassed by college men when they would walk to their dorms which were near where the mostly men had just watched a hard core pornographic film on campus.He says he used to pay a dollar to watch these films but he woke up to the harms of it and became against it!
http://www.mit.edu/activities/safe/cases/mit-lsc-xrated/porn_by_cowan
This is by a heterosexual former porn using guy
Forum Name Women’s Rights
http://www.democraticunderground.com/di … x6696#6812
6812, Since you
Posted by gaspee on Sat Mar-31-07 08:28 AM
— (warning for frank language.)
Seem to think only people who have seen a lot of porn are qualified to speak, I might meet your qualifications. I’ve watched a lot of porn. I used to have no problem with porn. I *write* erotica for a few online magazines. A few years ago, I got so ed by het porn that I’ve never watched it again. I will watch gay porn, either m/m or made for *women* f/f. I won’t watch made for men f/f.
porn is degrading to women. Period. Mainstream porn, especailly. I’ve watched a lot of it over the years. I’m no spring chicken. I don’t have a problem watching m/m porn. Funny, that. Know why? because I don’t take it personally when men are treated like a f*ck hole. Hmmm… I think I’m onto why most men don’t have a problem watching women turned into nothing but a place to stick their d*ck.
When watching for what passes as mainstream porn these days, I get sick to my stomach. Anal, face f*cking to the point where the poor girl is next to vomiting, slapping, demeaning talk. it’s all there in mainstream porn. Why men are so turned on by anal in het porn has always been a mystery to me. Why women do it is another mystery. I can get why men have anal sex. Women do it because men want them to.
What makes me the most sick is the look in the girls’, oh sorry, *actresses*, eyes. It f*cking kills me these days, which is why I don’t watch het porn any more.
And I’m speaking as someone who has seen a lot of it.
Now put on some Bel Ami stuff and my girlfriend and I are quite happy. Why? Watch it sometime, then watch the current top five or ten selling het porn titles and I think you’ll see the difference. And if you don’t, that’s a little scary.
And to continually say that het porn “isn’t like that” and looking at the top selling and rented titles makes me think you are being disingenious or in plain old denial.
Because the most popular het porn is like that.
And someone doesn’t have to watch a lot of porn to see just how degrading to women it is.
Forum Name Women’s Rights
Topic subject Hmmm, no response to your post. Wonder why?
Topic URL http://www.democraticunderground.com/di … x6696#6835
Posted by Morgana LaFey on Wed Apr-04-07 10:14 PM
And someone doesn’t have to watch a lot of porn to see just how degrading to women it is.
Yup.
and:
I don’t have a problem watching m/m porn. Funny, that. Know why? because I don’t take it personally when men are treated like a f*ck hole. Hmmm… I think I’m onto why most men don’t have a problem watching women turned into nothing but a place to stick their d*ck.’
Especially when they’ve been taught and continously reassured that women LIKE that, or if they don’t something wrong with them.
http://rochesternow.org/porn.html
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WAVE: Women Against a
Violent Environment
Porn Insidiously Devalues Women
by Barbara Kasper and Barbara Moore
Originally published in the October 27, 1994 Democrat and Chronicle (Rochester, NY)
There has been much discussion about the airing of the public access show on cable television called Life Without Shame. While many in our community do not want the show to air, there seems to be little we can do to stop it. There are so many rights in the way: the right to adult etertainment, the right to sexual expression, constitutional rights of free speech, and the rights of business owners.
One right which has been given little attention in this debate is human rights — specifically the rights of women.
We feel that pornography is harmful to women and that as women we have the right to live in a society free of this harm. Pornography degrades women. It defines us through our body parts. It encourages self-hatred in women because we can never “measure up” to the women seen in pornography. We dare not grow old or become overweight. In pornography, women are rewarded for fulfilling males’ fantasies — being either the passive “good girl” or the insatiable whore.
More importantly, pornography frequently eroticizes violence. We do not believe that every man who watches Life Without Shame will become a rapist or beat his wife or girlfriend. However, we do feel that misogynistic sexual entertainment for men portrays the humiliation of women as “sexy” and presents women as two-dimensional beings.
In a world where women are being raped, stalked, beaten, and killed in epidemic proportions, pornography conditions too many men to “get off by putting women down.” Eventually, viewing enough pornography can desensitize all of us so that we do not even question the devaluation of women in our society.
We believe that the number of rapes and assaults on women would be drastically reduced — but not entirely eliminated — if pornography were to disappear. We believe that pornography often serves as a cultural backdrop, if not actually a catalyst, for the sexual exploitation and abuse of women.
Pornography sells. Men spend more than $8 billion a year on pornography. What is sells is lies about women and their response to sex. Pornography frequently portrays women as mindless, childlike and submissive. We are “pets” or “playmates.” Other forms of pornography depict women who enjoy being raped, spanked, tied up or mutilated.
Would there be any real need for debate if viewers of cable television were exposed to programming that featured the consistent abuse and humiliating of Jews, African Americans or the elderly? Would everyone who objected to such programming be encouraged to simply “change the channel”? Yet when women are the victims, issues surrounding censorship and First Amendment rights are raised impeding progress toward real solutions.
Many young males state that their first sexual experience was masturbating to pornography. Think of what this pornography then says to these men — that women like to be treated like objects, treated with contempt, and enjoy eroticized violence. Women in pornography never say “no,” or if they do, they don’t really mean it. Women in porn are really men’s property — always available and ready. pornography, therefore, reinforces inequity in relationships. It is difficult to believe that men can use pornography and at the same time truly respect the women in their lives.
Far too many people believe that they have the right to control those to whom they feel superior. We know rape is not a crime of passion but rather an act of power and control. The same is true of domestic violence, sexual harassment and incest.
Who benefits from pornography? Who finances pornography? Who is behind the camera? Who buys it?
Who has the power?
We need to stop the lies that pornography tells about women and sex and tell the truth. The truth is that pornography supports a larger culture that hurts, exploits and discriminates against women. Unfortunately, far too often when we tell the truth we are accused of taking away rights. As Catherine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin, who have written books against pornography, state: “Take away wrongful power and you will be accused of taking away rights. Often, this will be true because the law, under the guise of protecting rights, protects power.”
Whose rights should take precedence? Is it the pornographers who produce Life Without Shame? Or is it the majority of us who want to live in a society which does not allow the subordination, degradation or violation of women?
Contact us:
info@rochesternow.org
P.O. Box 93196, Rochester, NY 14692
Pornography is extremely sexist and woman-hating and it teaches and normalizes sick distortions of women,men and sexuality,and it sexualizes male supremacy,sexist gender inequality,male dominance,women’s subordination and submission to men,,male supremacy objectification and dehumanization of women as only sex objects to be used,ejac*lated all over,and discarded, for men,often calls women woman-hating names like sl**s,bit****,and who*** and even male violence! And now we have the very sick,violent,sexist,woman-hating written version of it that is so messed up,disturbingly,and depressingly popular with women,Fifty Shades Of Grey!
And because it sexualizes and normalizes all of these sick things and sexist injustices, and has been wrongly mainstreamed and made acceptable in a sexist sick woman-hating male dominated society,that created and normalized it in the first place,more women are sadly disturbingly being influenced to think this is what normal heterosexuality is,and it teaches men that this is what women want and like, and that they want to be treated by them this way! Attitudes like yours really make any hope for change seem hop less!
Many men who used to use pornography when they were younger who are now anti-pornography anti-sexist anti-male violence educators include, former all star high school football player Jackson Katz who wrote the great important book,The Macho Paradox How Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help and he writes about how pornography sexualizes men’s power,woman hatred,sexual objectification and dehumanization and subordination of women,and this is all connected to male violence,and gender inequality,and how the pornography industry has sold this woman-hatred and men’s power as normal and liberating to the public.
Therapist Russ Funk who is a anti-racist,anti-sexist,anti-male violence educator has written books and articles on this as well and he had a chapter ,What Pornography Says About Me(n) in the book,Not For Sale:Feminists Resisting Prostitution & Pornography in which he said that when he used pornography he saw all women as just f***able even women he saw in classes,business coleagues and women on the street .He said being commited to justice and using pornography is inherently contradictory,because one can not look at others as fully equal,empowered,dynamic human beings if one is also looking at them through the pornographic gaze.
He also did a presentation in 2006 at The Center For Women Children and Families,Pornography What’s The Harm? On his site it describes 3 workshops he presents to people on the harms of pornography.He also wrote a book in 1993,Stopping Rape:A Challenge For Men and he includes pornography as one of the causes of rape culture.
The important organization,Men Can Stop Rape also discusses and educates on how men’s sexuality is socialized by pornography.
And Robert Jensen has written great articles and his important book,Getting Off Pornography And The End Of Masculinity.And Dr.Michael Flood’s recent report is great too.John Stoltenberg’s excellent 1989 book,Refusing To Be A Man Essays On Sex and Justice that consists of brilliant important peaches he made from the late 70’s -the late 80’s also discusses how pornography eroticizes and sexualizes male supremacy, sexism,woman hatred,violence,male dominance and female submission and subordination of women,and makes it feel and seem like sex to people and even makes sexism necessary for some people to have sexual feelings and arousal,keeps it this way, makes it the reality that people believe is true, and keeps people from knowing any other possibility.He co-founded Men Against Pornography In New York.
Paul Kivel who is the founder of The Oakland Men’s Project in California who has been a long time anti-sexist,anti-racist,anti-male violence educator,also wrote about how harmful and sexist pornography is in his great important 1999 book,Boys Will Be Men Raising Our Sons For COURAGE,CARING,and COMMUNITY.
He writes that it is not surprising that an industry worth billions of dollars a year,which may be bigger than the record and movie industries combined,has developed many ways to justify it’s existence and insinuate itself into mainstream male culture.
Paul then says that there are several books that describe in detail the harm pornography does to men as well as to women.He says these books listed in the bibliography,also contain descriptions of the pornography industry’s efforts to suppress and disrupt people organizing against it.The books he lists are,Men Confront Pornography edited by Michael S.Kimmel,Making Violence Sexy:Feminist Views On Pornography by Diana E.H.Russell,and Pornography:The Production and Consumption Of Inequality by Gail Dines et.al.
Paul also says in this book that talking to another adult can also help you decide if this is a situation in which you want to forbid the presence of porn in your house or if you just want to make it clear to your son how you fell about pornography but will let him decide what to do with the magazines or videos he has.He says in either case,it’s important to find out your son’s thoughts about pornography .He then says he may no little about the industry,it’s exploitation in the production of pornography,or the effects on women,men,and their relationships when men use it.He says it might be useful,if you have the stomach for it,to look through some of the material with him and talk about what you see.
Brooklyn College psychology professor Dr.Robert Brannon was a co-chair with Phylis B.Frank for 20 years from 1990 of The New York NOW’s Task Force on the harms of pornography,trafficking, and prostitution and he is co-founder of NOMAS National Organization For Men Against Sexism and he’s the organization’s group leader of their Task Force on prostitution and pornography. There is also an excellent report by pro-feminist Australian gender studies and sociology professor Dr.Michael Flood,The Harms Of Pornography Exposure Among Children And Young People and he also includes a lot of great research studies about the effects on adult users.He explains that Adults also show an increase in behavioral aggression following exposure to pornography including non-violent or violent depictions of sexual activity (but not nudity) with stronger effects for violent pornography.He has a lot of researchers as references.
Dr.Flood also then explains that in studies of pornography use in everyday life,men who are high frequency users of pornography and men who use ‘hardcore’,violent, or rape pornography are more likely than others to report that they would rape or sexually harass a woman if they knew they could get away with it.And they are more likely to actually perpetrate sexual coercion and agression.His reference for this is studies by psychologist Neil Malamuth et al 2000.Dr.Flood also says that perhaps the most troubling impact of pornography on children and young people is it’s influence on sexual violence. And he then says that a wide range of studies of the effects of pornography have been conducted among young people age 18-25,as well as older populations.
He says across these,there is consistent and reliable evidence that exposure to pornography is related to male sexual aggression against women.This association is strongest for violent pornography and still reliable for non-violent pornography particularly for frequent users. His source is psychologist Neil Malamuth et al 2000.He also says that in experimental studies adults show significant strengthening of attitudes supportive of sexual aggression following exposure to pornography.He then says the association between pornography and rape supportive attitudes is evident as a result of exposure to both non-violent (showing consenting sexual activity) and violent pornography while the latter results in significantly greater increase in violence-supportive attitudes.He also says exposure to sexually violent material increases male viewers acceptance of rape myths and erodes their empathy for victims of violence.
His source for this is Allen et al 1995.He explains adults also show an increase in behavioral aggression following exposure to pornography including non-violent or violent depictions of sexual activity(but not nudity) with stronger effects for violent pornography. Allen et al 1995.He said in a 2010 article that in 2009 there was a major complication of research studies that confirmed all of this earlier research studies.
He also explains there are many studies that show that teen boys who are frequent users of pornography more often sexually harass girls and believe it’s perfectly OK to hold a girl down and force her to have sex.
Dr.Flood also says that pornography is a poor and indeed dangerous sex educator and that pornography helps to sustain young people’s adherence to sexist and unhealthy notions of sex and relationships. He says it may exacerbate violence-supportive social norms and encourage their participation in sexual abuse.
He also says that children may also be alienated as many adult women are,by the subordinating representations of women common in pornography .Dr.Flood was quoted in an online 2004 article about men becoming feminists that when he was a young guy who used pornography often,and it played a big role in his trying to guilt trip a woman into having sex when she didn’t want to. And in an online 2001 article called,Can Men Be Feminists? he talks about the good things that have changed,but then talks about the bad things that haven’t changed and some of the things he said that haven’t changed are movies that glamorize men’s sexual violence against women,and pornography that portrays girls and women only as sex objects for men. One of the things he says for men to do to become feminists,is stop using pornography and also clean the bathroom etc.
Dr.Flood also mentions in this same report that there are studies showing that while there has been very little research on pornography use in young people’s sexual relationships,studies among Swedish young women(with a mean age of 23) find for example, that there is an association between having viewed pornography( typically with a partner) and anal sex ( I say sh*thole sex because that is really all an anus is for,smelly contaminated sh*t to come out of,and there is *NOTHING* ”erotic” about it!!!) he says with most women finding anal sex a negative experience. His reference is Tyden et al 2001
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4of 7 people found the following review helpful
Gray on Grey, May 18, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
As an avid reader I was interested when CBS reviewed Fifty Shades of gray. I obviously did not order the correct title for my Kindle. I got the Kindle review of Fifty Shades of Grey and read the full review. The story was about a young girl recently graduated from college and learning about the world. Sounding like a sweet innocent read I ordered the book. Reading more, the book took a turn into a dark world of what I would call sexual abuse and unnatural sex acts. Interested in the relationship developing between the main chacters, I sped through the sexual pages and read the relationship ones,when suddenly almost mid sentence, the book ended. I was offered the opportunity of finishing the 3 books in the trilogy.
My complaint is that the review given did not indicate the true tone of the book. The sexual portions of this book were so graphic and abnormal that I don’t want to read them in order to learn how these 2 peoples relationship develops. And while I could fast forward through them, I don’t want to spend $30 for something I didn’t order in the first place, pornograhy.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Degrading to women.waste of time and money, November 18, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
Read the reviews before buying. I sure wish I had. It is a thorough waste of time. I thought that perhaps a plot or story line would develop but it never did. At the end, it just ended. I considered buying the next book as I wondered surely there must be more to this. But on reading the reviews I found out everything that happened without wasting more time and money on it. As the other reviews state, it is repetitious, boring, ridiculous and degrading to women.
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Fifty Shades of Grey
65 of 69 people found the following review helpful
Waste of my weekend, March 5, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Kindle Edition)
purchased the book as I heard it reviewed on a TV news program. Normally, I don’t waste my time on fluff, but thought this might be the exception. It rests solely on descriptions of unspeakable depravity without believable plot line running through it. The ending was no ending at all–only beconing the weak to further waste of time.
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3 of 6 people found the following review helpful
after a couple chapters I returned it. It was just plain flat out gross, March 28, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Kindle Edition)
Not worth the money time or anything. Gross terrible book! I returned it for a refund that is how bad it is!
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Anyone that likes this books has to have a lot missing in their lives, July 13, 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)
Disgusting!Disgusting!
Disgusting
Why waste your hard earned money!
Disgusting Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
Disgusting!
Disgusting
http://pornharms.com/action-ny-times-encouraging-torture-violent-bdsm-culture/
I have a post printed out since 2003,but I’m not sure when it was written,it’s called in a Smut Rut Why Does Pornography Harm Women?And one of the many things she says is porn also harms women because it causes men to unkowingly view women as less than human,as less than themselves;as objects or animals.She then says,it teaches them not only to be dominators,but also misogynists-meaning they believe women are not their equal but their pets,their servants.Then she says,if men believe women are less than human,it is logical to believe that viewing pornography leads to violence against women,as statistics have shown.If women are viewed in reality as the objects that they are in porn;to be used,abused,and tossed aside at will,than the logical result will be spousal(or partner)abuse.She mentions Ted Bundy and his addiction to hardcore pornography and she said that the violent acts in the pornography were eventually not real enough for him and he eventually killed and mutilated women in reality.
She then says,under the heading For Women,An upsetting trend now is the fact the women are increasingly not only accepting of porn,but are becoming viewers of porn,even though it’s an industry that is so injurious and contemtous of them.What started out as a trend of women who viewed pornography with their partners reluctantly has become a culture of women who embrace it as being “feminist” or “liberating”.She then says,that some would argue that porn can be “feminist” in nature,but I believe it is all a crude adoption of the same belittling,objectifying lack of ethics that hurts women in other types pornography.
She says the porn I speak of that is rationalized to be “feminist” is that in which the female is the dominatrix,or master and abuser. In Fifty Shades Of Sick,Violent,Sexist, Damaging,Woman-Hating, the woman is not the dominatrix and abuser,but in the old role that women have been in for 1,000’s of years,dominated,subordinated,submissive,to men and abused by men! Then she says,it is not feminist to objectify men or treat them as animals,simply because they have done so to us.It is only stooping to their level,adopting the values that we are trying to react *against*.She says,being a feminist does not mean belittling the other sex-that would only be revenge. A true feminist respects both sexes and would treat the “opposite” sex as they would want to be treated.Then she says that women are the population most hurt by all types of pornography,and should be the first to refuse to look at,watch or accept it.
About 6 years ago I found an online Salon.com article from 2009 and I forget the title of it and I’d really like to find it again. It was by a woman who said she can tell when one of her male lovers is a pornography user because they have sex in a very detached,unaffectionate mechanical way. And she said her boyfriend was jack hammering away.In this article was a sex educator who contributes to I think an erotic site for women Babeland. And she said that men have been imitating pornography for years.And she said that in 2008 Babeland took a big poll of women and asked them what are the myths pornography teaches men about women and sex.
They said,That women get orgasims from penatration,that women like to have semen on their faces,that anal(sh*thole!) sex is sexy and that women like very big penises. Isn’t it that something scerwed up,that these are EXACTLY the damaging lies,myths and distortions that E.L James writes,promotes,normalizes,and reinforces in her horrible sexist,woman-hating,sexualizing,& eroticizing men’s violence against women books! I have a feeling that E.L James’s husband is or was a big pornography user & then she watched it with him,which research shows is usually because of a male partner,and she wrote her books from what she saw she admitted this,and was taught to her as “normal” and “sexy”. And or she was sexually and physically abused either as a child or as an adult.
I made a few typing mistakes I meant penetration and orgasms
Excellent powerful,important recent article that mentions how popular the horrendous Fifty Shades movie is and how this is all from the mainstreaming of typical violent,degrading and woman-hating pornography and it has powerful important quotes from Dr.Gail Dines.
https://www.truthdig.com/report/item/pornography_is_what_the_end_of_the_world_looks_like_20150215
The late great John Lennon who became a pro-feminist man thanks to Yoko Ono here is performing in May 1972 on the Dick Cavet show the powerful song he co-wrote with Yoko,Woman Is The N*gger of The world and obviously sadly we *still* are! This should be the soundtrack for every pornography web site and DVD and for the Fifty Shades of Grey film!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5lMxWWK218
I have long time anti-sexist,anti-violence educator and author Jackson Katz’s great important 2006 book,The Macho Paradox How Some Men Hurt women and How All Men Can Help. He was an all star football player in high school/And I have emailed him and has answered me back.He writes in Tough Guise and in The Macho paradox recognizing ”masculinity” as mostly a socially created category.
Pro-feminist sociologist Dr.Michael Kimmel who has demonstrated what decades of psychological research shows,that the sexes are much more psychologically alike than different,and he totally recognizes gender as more of a social construction,and he gave a great review to The Macho paradox.
This is a great article by Jackson from December 2010,John Lennon On Fatherhood,Feminism and phony Tough Guy Posturing.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jackson-katz/john-lennon-on-fatherhood_b_800333.html
Sorry Melinda, all this time I didn’t thank you for your great,important accurate,true article here!
These two British university researchers report that Fifty Shades of Grey changed women’s attitudes about porn and that 86% of women respondents said the books influenced their attitudes to sex in some way and that 67% finding them a turn on. 87% had heard of BDSM before reading the books that BDSM is becoming much more visible within the mainstream and 38% had previously engaged in BDSM practices and 22% said that the books had encouraged them to try (further) BDSM practices. 24% had used the books in their personal masturbation or fantasy.
They also say that those that found pleasure in reading the sexual scenes included both those engaged in BDSM practices and those who don’t and those who regularly read ”erotica” (my quotes) and those who don’t.
They also have quotes from women saying they enjoyed the ”romance” in the books and others who felt the BDSM sex was to boring and tame!
Then there is some more information explained
http://www.academia.edu/5372462/Reading_the_BDSM_Romance_Reader_Responses_to_Fifty_Shades_with_Clarissa_Smith_
http://50shadesisdomesticabuse.webs.com/apps/photos/album?albumid=13862843
From The Great Important British Site,50 Shades Is Domestic Abuse and see these totally disturbing sick, and as the site says,Horrifying Products Based On Fifty Shades! There are pictures of Tee Shirts Baby Onesies that say, I Pretend That Christian Grey Is My Daddy and there is an image of two handcuffs! Another one for babies says,All Mommy Wanted Was A Night With Mr.Grey! Another says,9 Months Ago Mommy Read Fifty Shades Of Grey! Another baby shirt says,I’m A Fifty Shades Baby!
There are shirts ,rings and key chains for women that say things like,I Cry Because Christian Grey Is Fictional and it has a chain with a metal heart shaped pendant! Another is a Woman wearing a tank top that says in big letters,I SLEPT WITH CHRISTIAN GREY! A ring that says Mrs. Christian Grey with a pink image of a heart,there is a man’s Tee shirt that says,LET ME BE YOUR CHRISTIAN GREY and there are also two handcuffs! A key chain that has an image of a red heart and it says,I (with the heart) Christian Grey.And a picture of a young woman(you just see her top like in the other images) wearing a sweatshirt that says,PROPERTY OF CHRISTIAN GREY EST.2012 SEATTLE WASHINGTON which is the city and state that the story is supposed to take place in! Another Woman’s V neck Tee shirt says,WILL YOU BE MY CHRISTIAN GREY? It has an image of a woman’s lips on the right side,and two handcuffs on the left side! Another short sleeve woman’s top says,PROPERTY OF 50 and under it it says,CHRISTIAN GREY.
Here Are Pictures Of Posters in Preston shops By This Site Warning People Of The Normalisation Of Abuse in 50 Shades Books
http://50shadesisdomesticabuse.webs.com/apps/photos/album?albumid=13838565
http://50shadesisdomesticabuse.webs.com/apps/photos/album?albumid=13862843
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2181560/50-Shades-Grey-baby-boom-Births-predicted-rise-thanks-success-hit-mommy-porn-erotic-novel.html
This disturbing article reports that Ana and Christian became popular baby names!
http://www.ehow.com/feature_12257921_should-name-baby.html
http://www.scarymommy.com/message-board/index.php?p=/discussion/12497/so-sick-of-hearing-about-50-shades/p1
See how disturbingly,incomprehensible,sick and sad that on a Mommy site,Scary Mommy poster BellaBefana who is a single mother of a little girl said that yes Fifty Shades will DEFNITELY jump start just about anybody including the dead,meaning sexually aroused in response to the disturbing comment by LLB who said she had the book on hold at her local library and that shec was hoping it will boost her early prenancy lack of ”desire”.
Another pregnancy blog talking about how Fifty shades of sexualized,eroticized,romanticized,men’s irational 1000’s of years worth of hatred of women,sadistic torture,and sexist,inequality is motivating women to horrorfyingly conceive innocent babies out of this!
http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/8396445/any-other-50-shades-of-grey-haters-see-this
I meant horrifyingly.
Very sick and disturbing article,’50 Shades of Grey’money:Cookbooks to bathroom decor
It disturbingly shows the cover of a cookbook,Fifty shades of Chicken bound with string!
http://www.shorelinetimes.com/articles/2012/10/17/life/doc506b442bec6bc766312897.txt
This is a disturbing Fifty Shades of Grey fan Facebook page discussing how much they love the books and movie and can’t wait for the the sequels. quite a few people posted links to watch the whole movie online.many said how sexy Christian is.More than a few are calling it the best movie ever and some called a beautiful movie and others said a brilliant film. There are only a minority of people saying it wasn’t well done, it didn’t stick the story in the books well enough. There are several men who said it was great and loved it.So many are shown in their family facebook pictures many
hugging or holding their little children many of them little girls,and grandchildren
and it really makes me sick! Sexualized and non-sexualized sadistic men’s violence towards women is widely excepted as ”sexy”,”normal” ”fun” and ”romantic” by the majority now! Many also are using still pictures from the film of Christian both Ana and Christian as their facebook page picture
The members here deny that Fifty Shades promotes domestic abuse. The first one Elizabeth Martin says I really like the movie! It’s funny how a movie about a couple who are into kinky sex is so controversial yet movies with with horrible violence get zero objections.She got 473 likes and 26 replies for this. Nadine Stokes says Exactly!! There’s movies about rapists, pedophiles,and serial killers but we are able to see that those films are stories this is a story too and less disturbing than 1000’s of others.She got 21 likes.
Lesley Watson said I completely agree! There is hundreds/thousands of movies out there much worse than this! Just as an example I recently watched anti Christ,the whole movie is a bit messed up but the opening scenes are of a couple having sex whilst their young son climbs up and falls out a window (he dies) it later comes to light that his mum saw him do it! It’s basically a film centered around child neglect with added nasties like the woman pretty much raping her passed out hubby and genital mutilation (sorry to be so descriptive,but just trying to get my point across) yet people protest that this promotes domestic abuse! Seriously???
Then several women agree 100% with her. Cindy Smith Breckenridge says,Sex is and always will be taboo.It’s why there are so many uneducated people about sex. People can deal with murder,gore,and violence,but mention sex and they freak out. She got 14 likes for this.
John Rooksby says 1) They don’t get zero objections. There are entire organizations against violence in films. 2) 50 Shades of Shit *isn’t* controversial.The attention is all due to it being the most successful piece of pulp rubbish of all time which meant the movie adaptation was about as certain a sure-fire hit as a studio could possibly get.How anyone could possibly imagine this drivel was controversial in a world saturated with hardcore pornography,I struggle to comprehend;but then again there were millions of idiots who bought the 50 Shades book,so I shouldn’t be that surprised. He got 3 likes so far.
So Melanie Rae Lideikis says pretty sure I’m not an idiot for reading the book you don’t have to agree it’s good but don’t make those us who had read the book sound unintelligent.
Julia Barrington Berrocal said He’s being an idiot maybe jealous cuz he’s(her improper grammar) wife got hot watching it haha and if it was so horrible it wouldn’t have made so much money already and it hasn’t even started here till today and all the tickets have been sold out for over a week so Johns point is INVALID and stupid She got 6 likes so far.
So John says Julia the success of the film in no way invalidates my point that it isn’t controversial;in fact,it serves to prove it.
Marietta Cookie Tangredi disturbingly says I agree and have been saying for years that I don’t understand why violence is OK but not sex.
Andrea Snyder says Oh it’s not controversial? Bullshit lol it has nothing to do with how popular it is. People are angry because they think it glorifies abuse. I have read all the books and seen the movie.It’s a fictional story. These people do not exist.They are so focused on the abusive bdsm part when they never partake in that kind of relationship.
Lyla Pedersen says good point!!
Nusden Musan says Enjoy Fifty Shades of Grey full movie! Watch in HD and she provides the link.Others provide a link further down to watch it for free online.
Nevin Jade Aguillard disturbingly says,Just means they’re mad they didn’t try kinky sex a lot sooner. lMAO. Agreed though!
Nicci Hartland says,I don’t watch any movie that glorifies rape,control and abuse this is what people don’t understand about this movie it glorifies all these and they don’t care.Very sad to see.
Lisa Van Der Hoeven Said Awesome! Show those lame ass critics what you’re worth! She disturbingly got 279 likes so far! And 23 replies so far.when you click on the replies a middle aged woman named Jill Night says Anyone who didn’t just LOVE it is probably a tight-assed prude or else jealous as hell! The sex,bondage, and discipline really turned me on and I wish I had a partner like that! Jill got 3 likes so far.
One of the facebook members who has little girls I don’t remember her name said to people complaining the sex scenes were not explicit enough,to watch a porno
A person named Apurba Biswas disturbingly said this movie is intensely erotic.Yes. people who are not in love won’t understand it’s romance at it’s best.14 people liked this comment.
Charlene Phillips says she absolutely loved it and says she thinks they picked the perfect actor and actress for the role they have massive chemistry and look great together.Then she says Jamie is gorgeous and really plays Christian well.My favorite bits were where Ana discusses the contract and gets rid of anal fisting and vagina fisting,so funny to here them.
Danyell Rowe-Epps took her hubby and said he definitely liked it LOL she said first of all he loves it when I read sexy books she said when she reads the sexy books he reaps the benefits,and then she puts a smile emoticon.
She said when she started reading the series she would read parts to him or have him read certain parts and talk to him about the book.He said he didn’t know what the big fuss regarding the sex scenes with the media and critics were about that there are for sure worse out there.She then said that she thinks it’s just because it caters to women if it was the other way around it wouldn’t be such a big deal.
Amy Weaver-Strickler who has three little girls shown in her facebook picture with her and her husband,says so ready for the movie 2 and 3 like now!!! Loved the entire movie today!!!
Bonnie Fuson says This was awesome! Can’t wait for the other two! Our theatres was full of drunk over horney women and it was hilarious! She then says never had so much fun going to a movie in my life! Way to go Fifty shades of Grey!
Suezette Dunham says the sex scenes were done tastefully.
Chrystina Kuver said she saw it this morning best movie of the year,can’t wait for the second movie and she has you can see a smiling emoticon.Then she says Jamie and Dakota were amazing!!!! the ending makes you wanting more great movie screw the critics never listen to them anyway they suck!
Cath Rae says it’s a brilliant film everyone out there ignore those pathetic critics and see this movie certainly worth it.
Sarah Goss says, LOVED Fifty Shades,Dakota plays a fantastic Ana and it will be
hard not imagining her when re-reading the books,Jamie is intense and smoldering as Christian,who takes your breath away from the get go.She then says an all around great movie which shows the erotic and tender love story brought to life on screen straight from the pages of our much loved trilogy bring on round two tomorrow afternoon.
Adri Ricky said I just saw it! Loved it my husband loved it too.
katica Sprem Visc said Absolutely loved it.Very erotic friends I made come with me want to reads books now.
Mindy Swinford says saw it tonight with my hubby on the way home we debated what was and wasn’t in the movie.we came at an overall consensus on the fact time and rating played a major factor in this movie we still loved it and can’t wait to own it!!
Ilona Pioch Russell said I though this movie would be a blockbuster. women will be seeing it more than once myself included.
Tinisha Harris gives a long very good review and says towards the end that the love/romance and the sex were well-balanced,which I appreciated,since as I’ve always said the Fifty Shades trilogy is first and foremost LOVE story. Some people are attacking Russell Wilson (Seahawks Quarterback) because he went to see Fifty Shades and tweeted it was a great movie although he’s a devout Christian.Many of these people have not even read the books and only focus on the BDSM aspect of the book(s) They don’t know that Christian ”put a ring on it” and married Ana a couple of months after they start dating.
I believe E.L.James intentionally wrote this into the book (s) as to legitimize the relationship,and give the books some moral footing.Further,for Christians,the marriage bed is undefiled. Some people were saying that Russell Wilson had to give Fifty Shades a great review because he’s ”Mr.Seattle” and the book scenes are set in Seattle.(Well Portland too,)I don’t want to give too much away but I rather enjoyed the sexiness of the movie too.Some parts of it were sensual and stimulating.This crazy man in the theatre kept giggling throughout the movie I think he was getting aroused! I
can understand why Dakota Johnson doesn’t want her parents to see this movie and
Jamie Dornan’s wife said she’s not going to see it. Although they’re acting,they’re actually engaging in all of this physical contact,which is very intense and intimate.
Tina Spoljaric disturbingly says the sex was hot,very hot! Then she says acting? They didn’t portray the characters well the whole thing just seemed rushed and the camera work itself sucked! Still loved the story though.
A man who looks like he’s in his 60’s Bob Peloza said I just got out of the movie I thought it was pretty good only part I didn’t like was the spanking at the end but very true to the book.
Sebira Salkanovic says,They going to shave their bush in no2 movie.
Rachel A Kuehn said Wow just seen it damn that was some romantic steamy erotic tasteful movie read the books can’t wait for the DVD to come out and the second movie.
https://www.facebook.com/FiftyShadesOfGreyTrilogy/posts/661686863953458
Also very disturbing and messed up,many Christian mothers love and defend Fifty Shades of Grey!
http://purefreedom.org/im-not-reading-fifty-shades-of-grey/
In this article by Lynne Marie Kohm a family law professor at Regent university school of Law, Fifty shades of Grey Normalizes Sexual Deviancy it says that a recent survey by an unnamed leading Christian publisher asked respondents to name the most influential book they had read in the past year and Focus on the family reported the results that a startling number of Christian women said that Fifty Shades of Grey was their favorite book of the year!
She says that fact is extremely noteworthy because the book is a form of written pornography that fosters notions of sexual deviancy as normal from sadomasochism,to adultery to domestic violence.She then says cultural phenomenon has become a rage among American women sadly so,as women are the willing victims of one perverse man’s sexual playroom.Then she says nonetheless many will race to see the feature film to be released on Valentine’s day weekend where reports detail that the sex scenes are one fifth of the film-essentially pornography.
She then asks,why would women want to read about and watch a man physically and emotionally hurting a woman who feels she needs his love? Then she asks why and how has this pornography ensared so many women including Christian women? Then she unfortunately quotes the anti-feminist conservative Focus On The family and mentions polls in Time Magazine and The NYT about how since the women’s movement women are less happier.
Very disturbing,many conservative Christian posters on this Christian site are defending Fifty shades and BDSM! A young you says maybe BDSM makes women happy and that’s 100 sure that people who are really into it are not doing out of depravity but because they like it otherwise they wouldn’t do it.and distiurbingly says women are fascinated by rough sex because it’s often better than 5 minutes with the man on top.he also says that he doesn’t remember any biblical passages that banned BDSM so he guesses it’s pretty much Jesus approved with a thumbs up.
There is a woman defending BDSM on here too.
http://cnsnews.com/commentary/lynne-marie-kohm/fifty-shades-grey-normalizes-sexual-deviancy
This is a recent bad review on Feminist Current by Dr.Gail Dines,Watching 50 Shades of Grey is Torture Shades of Grey on how the movie is even worse and more abusive than the horrible books!
I just read that review that poster Erin linked to in this article and it’s not a bad review at all and it certainly isn’t feminist! The reviewer says that’s the beauty of the Fifty Shades of Grey books and says that the movie wasn’t as bad as everyone is making it out to be.and he said the people who hate it probably didn’t even see the movie just like people who hate the books years ago probably didn’t read them either and he says Christian only spanks her 3 times? He doesn’t condemn the sadistic sexual violence of Christian towards Ana. I stopped reading after this.
Why would you even post this on a true feminist blog? and why even post on here at all?!and how disturbing that you already have 2 likes on a feminist blog!
http://feministcurrent.com/10776/review-watching-50-shades-of-grey-is-torture/#comment-249571
In this Michigan State university article,”Fifty shades Sparks Conversation Regarding Domestic Violence abusive Relationships.Very disturbingly incomprehensibly psychology junior Jillian Convery who read all of the books and saw the movie said that she could see how someone who did not read the books before seeing the movie might find the film abusive and horrifying.
Then she says Christian makes it known more than once that if Anastasia is uncomfortable in any way to let her know and he’ll stop.She knew going into the relationship what he liked and what he wanted from her and she continued to see him.
The article quotes professor Amy Bonomi professor and chairperson of Human Development and Family Studies about her and her colleagues studies (that were published in the Journal Of women’s Health) on how domestic abuse is prevalent throughout the series.
http://statenews.com/article/2015/02/fifty-shades-of-debate#disqus_thread
and yes,Jillian Convery that’s why not only is Ana portrayed throughout the books and movie as so many people have said,as totally childlike,innocent,and inexperienced,but he really stopped when he raped her vaginally more than once,brutally anally raped her by tying her up and f*cking her hard up the a*s as Ana says after she told him she didn’t want sh*thole intercourse with her,beats her pregnant stomach with a belt in the last book,etc etc and many readers have said that Ana doesn’t want or really consent to most of his sexual torture! How disturbing that she and so many other fans of this horrendous horror can’t see this!
https://theconversation.com/the-mommy-porn-myth-who-are-the-fifty-shades-of-grey-fans-37649
This is a great important recent article in the Christian Rlevant Magazine
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/film/fifty-shades-grey-and-abuse
I meant to include the title of Revevant magazine’s great article. It’s called,The Real Abuse At The Heart Of Fifty Shades of Grey
I forgot to include some information when I had posted this part.
I read quotes from the book of Ana saying she’s a virgin,(another amazon.com reviewer who is a writer herself says that every time they had sex it was like Ana is being raped,and she too mentions him slamming into her as a virgin,and said she wanted to slap him)and that he says to her I’m going to f*ck you hard,(of course just like in the porn videos and Christian has a huge penis too just like in the porn videos,which makes it even more painful and violent,and women in porn videos are portrayed as loving it too!) and she says he slams into her and rips out her virginity and she feels a pinching pain! And another amazon.com reviewer said that every sex scene begins with Ana saying he slams into me.
On a blog where women who posted who hated the books,a woman said that that first time they had sex it was like Christian raped her,she said she would have been bleeding profusely and in excruciating pain! And feminist Cedar Goslin in her excellent online 4 part Fifty Shades of wrong,says that every time they have sex the word slamming is repeatedly used.She says Christian tells her to lie completely still until he finds his release.For *his* pleasure!
You know what is also very disturbing,messed up,horrible and incomprehensible, trader, hypocrite fake ”feminists” actually promoted Fifty Shades as something good! The fake ”feminist” site Jezbel did,and that is where I first read Ana’s quotes from the book where she tells Christian she’s a virgin and says I’m going to f*ck you now hard,and she says then he slams into me and rips out my virginity and I feel a pinching pain. Jezebel has also promoted visual pornography.
And on the site Feministing one of the editors in the Spring in 2012 soon after the book came out gave it a good review and said that women have been socialized to find male dominance and female submission sexy and said that these books show that women like all different types of sex.Yeah,men’s sadistic,violent,woman-hating dominant sex!
And in the Fall of 2012 actress Marlo Thomas who has been friends with feminist Gloria Steinem since the early 1970’s and she herself has always called herself a feminist and she did do some good influential feminists media works,interviewed E.L.James on The Huffington Post Women section and insanely,incomprehensiblyshe promoted it as a good thing for women’s sexuality! She even said she liked the books and something like it made her and her husband Phil have a good time.
There was also an article on a women In Film site and a woman with a degree in studying media effects on women gave a great review to the Fifty Shades books and disturbingly,insanely said she thinks the boks are great.
I meant to add that Clare Phillipson the director of the British domestic violence center Wearside Women In Need,who was going to burn copies along with her members in 2012 said to me on her Facebook page in the early summer of 2013 that she can’t believe that any feminist read the books because the violent abuse described of Ana by Christian is so horrendous!
http://www.thefreeradical.ca/research/introToMisogynyInPopCultacvureSept2010.pdf
If the above link doesn’t work you can just type in the title of the article and Valerie’s name on google and it will come up.
This a great long important article from the Fall 2010, An Introduction To Misogyny In Popular Culture By long time feminist Canadian anti-violence euducator Valerie Smith She has a section on Howard Stern’s horrible hatred of women on his radio show.
She addresses the hatred for women in popular mainstream movies,TV shows,World Wide Wrestling Entertainment,slasher films,rap and heavy metal music,video games,and pornography.
.
Valerie says that Howard Stern’s misogynist attacks on women were a matter of public record before his radio show was purchased in 1997 by Canadian Broadcasters where he remained on the air in Toronto for several years.she says eventually his show was dropped by regular radio,but he returned to Canada in 2006 on Sirius Canada, a satellite radio consortium that includes the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.
She then says that the CRTC has done nothing, in spite of the fact that the Stern show contravenes The Broadcasting Act Radio Regulations prohibition against the broadcast of abusive comment,which state: A licensee shall not broadcast.. any abusive comment… that,when taken in context,tends to or is likely to expose an individual or a group or class of individuals to hatred or contempt on the basis of race,national or ethnic origin,color,religion,sex,sexual orientation,age or mental or physical disability.
Valerie says Stern’s vile attitude towards women is illustrated by some of the web sites he used to identify during his show on Q107 in Canada.Valerie says that two of these one a bestiality site and another featuring the violent sexual abuse of runaway teenage girls were the subject of a complaint filed with the Toronto Police Service and the CRTC in March 1998.
I just realized that I made a few typing mistakes.
Below is from the anti-pornography feminist site Pornography And The First Amendment. Twiss Butler of The Washington NOW said to me that women who support pornography and call themselves “feminists” are supporting sexism and woman-hating and are *NOT* feminists,and she’s totally right they are traders and hypocrites!
Women’s Institute for
Freedom of the Press
Pornography and the First Amendment
Twiss Butler
from her chapter “Why The First Amendment Is Being Used to Protect Violence Against Women,” in The Price We Pay, The Case Against Racist Speech, Hate Propaganda, and Pornography, Laura Lederer and Richard Delgado, eds. (NY: Hill & Wang, 1995)
“Twiss Butler argues that men’s control of institutions of communication and education allows them to support speech that harms women and to suppress speech against that harm. She observes that the publishing industry funds legal, journalistic, and nonprofit organizations endorsing a First Amendment absolutist position. She contends that the industry’s defense of pornography as protected speech serves the double purpose of dignifying misogyny and establishing the First Amendment as the publisher’s product liability shield.” (p. 160)
“When feminists criticize pornography as graphic misogyny, they are attacking not only the system of sexism itself, with its economic and social pay-offs for men, not only Playboy’s advertising rates, but also publishers’ broad First Amendment shield against liability for any harm caused by the products that they produce and sell.
“The publishing industry and the men in it therefore have a conflict of interest in reporting a critique of pornography as inimical to women’s civil rights (unsecured as those rights are by the Constitution). We need to consider how that conflict of interest distorts the information we receive through journalistic coverage of public debate and action on this issue.
“Publishers protect their liability shield either by silencing feminists while granting speech to those who vilify them, or by misrepresenting the feminist critique of pornography. Women are given credibility and access to speech to the extent that they say what men want them to say. Stray from the script and you will be attacked, misquoted, or simply go unheard. As power brokers in a large industry profiting from sexism, publishers disguise this censorship as selfless concern for the First Amendment and freedom of speech. (p. 163) …
“In the news business as elsewhere, men have long relied on the weapon of pornography to avoid having to compete on their own merits. The role pornography plays in keeping women journalists at a disadvantage is evident in the experience of Lynn carrier, an editorial writer for the San Diego Tribune who sued the paper in 1990 for sex discrimination and harassment. Men coworkers attempted to intimidate and segregate Carrier by displaying pornography in the office, using sexual insults when talking with her, and asking her to run out and buy a copy of Playboy for her supervisor–who also wondered aloud what she would charge Playboy for posing nude for photographs. Carrier won her civil suit (refusing, incidentally, to accept a secret settlement), but the outcome was typical–she no longer works at the Tribune, but is employed instead at a smaller paper in the area. (p. 164) …
“To protect pornography, women’s speech must be carefully controlled. When Linda Lovelace said she loved starring in pornographic films, she was treated as credible; when Linda Marchiano said that she had been beaten, raped, and coerced into making those films, her credibility was questioned. No risk is overlooked. At a National Press Club speech by Christie Hefner in 1986, I addressed her ‘as a pornographer’ in a written question about her lawsuit to censor testimony from a federal hearing that referred to Playboy as pornography; when my question was read aloud by the club’s president, these three words were deleted.” (pp. 166-167)
[This chapter by Twiss Butler alone is worth the purchase of The Price We Pay, The Case Against Racist Speech, Hate Propaganda, and Pornography. The entire book is excellent and highly recommended.]
These comments are from the site they are not mine.
Very good important article Fifty Shades of Grey And The Sexual (Mis) Education of Boys by long time acclaimed anti-men’s violence,anti-sexist,educator for all star high school football player,Jackson Katz
The Facebook posters mostly sexist,woman-hating,defensive men are really disturbing and it’s so hopeless right now especially with the,horrible,sick, disturbing continued popularity of Fifty Shades of horror with so many women! And notice the sick,woman-hating defenses of BDSM,because they practice it themselves,and want to insanely believe it’s ”normal”,”healthy”, ”harmless” and ”natural”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jackson-katz/fifty-shades-of-grey-and-the-miseducation-of-boys_b_6700378.html
I meant former.
This is a very good article by feminist Susan Hawthorne, Shades of Grey:What now that BDSM has gone mainstream?
http://www.spinifexpress.com.au/Blog/display/id=113/
In this upsetting,disturbing article by Mia Freedman called,am 50 shades of Grey Am I The only one who didn’t have a problem with it
There are many women disturbingly defending and liking the books and movie.One poster deathmouse who expressed concerns about only Christian’s emotional abuse of Ana,not his physical and sexual violent abuse,(which sadly disturbingly many can’t see on here,and some like her only mention emotional abuse and many defend BDSM as ”healthy”,”normal” and good when it’s ”consensual”) and she says that it’s dangerous to see glowing reviews from people who think the books and movies are romantic and something to be aspired to,especially on sites like these with a wide following and are seen as good examples of feminism and sad there is nothing feminist about Fifty Shades she disturbingly says that she hopes it made some women more comfortable with their sexuality ( so women’s sexuality and expressing it is to be dominated and tortured by violent,sadistic woman-hating men as submissive objects,slaves and victims for their pleasure!),but the glorification and romanticism of domestic/emotional abuse( she doesn’t see his sadistic sexual and physical abuse of Ana!) far outweigh any benefits that could have ever come from it.
poster MsChief who works with domestic violence victims very disturbingly liked Fifty the Shades of Grey books and said did she think domestic violence when she read the books she said no and she said will she get the feeling from the movie she doesn’t think so.She says she works with victims of DV and their relationships are not like this,they are or were not in consensual relationships.She goes on to describe what she thinks real abusive men are like,which really describes what Christian Grey is really like and even worse but she disturbingly can’t see this!
She says her and her husband have been married for 25 years and said although our sex life was very good 50 Shades gave us a few new ideas,and we introduced some stuff into our bedroom,she says some was good,some hilarious,some never happening again.She says that the basis for the whole 50 Shades phenomenon fantasy not real life,fun and not everyone’s cup of tea.She then says but hey, I didn’t read harry Potter or the Twilight series she says,( although the first Twlight movie was so sexually charged ,I couldn’t believe I was watching it with my then teens,we survived.
One of the posters said that Christian doesn’t except when Ana expresses discomfort with anal sex and spankings and does it anyway. I know other feminist strong criticism and analysis of it have said that he vaginally rapes her more than once and I read descriptions that he brutally anally rapes her too when she tells him she doesn’t want to have sh*thole sex,she says he tied me up and f*cked me hard up the a*s.
The poster Ames read all three books and very disturbingly said they couldn’t understand why it was upsetting so many people the way it has.And said they think this movie is truly a movie made for fans of the book.
This poster Helen Marie said she never read the books but she went and saw the movie yesterday and she really liked it.And she said they obviously they left it wide open at the end for a sequel which she said she’ll also go and see.She said she didn’t think it was as sexy as basic Instinct but she thinks it’s still quite a good movie and she thinks both young actors did a great job.Then she disturbingly says,for the life of me I don’t know what all of the bitching over this movie is about,too many women with way too much time on their hands making mountains out of mole hills if you ask me.She then says she wonders would the response be different if it was HIM being submissive she says I think not.
She then posts again after a couple of other posters including poster trixietimez who said it’s the abuse and the sex is disturbing but it’s the fact that she NEVER sees friends or family,that he controls her every move,she complies out of fear of him blowing up,and worse yet she explains it all away because ”he was a sad little boy”.
Helen Marie says after a different post after trixietimez,that as she quite adequately displayed at the end of the movie,it was entirely up to her whether she stayed or went,she always had control and was never a victim.she then disturbingly says,the guy had issues she knew it but chose to dip her toe in the water anyway and then she disturbingly says that she can’t say she blames her! lol She used the exclamation point.
Very disturbingly a relationship therapist, sex therapist,and sex commentator Matty Silver says to Mia the author of this disturbing article defending the Fifty Shades movie,your spot on Mia,except one point it’s often assumed that people who participate in BDSM might have a history of sexual abuse and says but that is not the case.Then she says that this myth is perpetuated by Christian’s disclosure of his past sexual abuse and suggests people who do this are ”broken”.Then she disturbingly says most people who engage in the practice do so because they enjoy it as a fun and pleasurable thing to do.
many posters say they have no problem with the bondage and BDSM,poster AlyssaKT said nobody cares about the bondage,it’s the emotional abuse and control
http://www.mamamia.com.au/entertainment/mia-freedman-50-shades-of-grey/
This woman-hating anti-feminist guy claims the popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey books and movie proves women biologically want and need male dominance! He has a graphic picture of a woman’s body bound up,and he even mentions the 50DollarsNot50Shades campaign.
http://www.returnofkings.com/56034/fifty-shades-of-grey-proves-women-want-male-dominance#prettyPhoto
Here is a woman-hating recent article calling feminists against Fifty Shades and BDSM ”puritians” who want to dictate what women should be able to chose to do.
http://www.spiked-online.com/newsite/article/fifty-shades-of-grey-the-victorianism-of-the-fifty-shades-boycotters/16690#.VN-KV_nF-Tt
Also many of the comments on the Revalent Magaine’s article,The Real Abuse At The Heart of Fifty Shades of Grey are very disturbing and sick by Christian women liking and defending Fifty Shades! They voted 2 or 3 votes down to the great information that I posted here of many sensible,caring people who recognize the reality and truth of how horrible,woman-hating,and violent Fifty shades really is including by the sensible amazon.com reviewers.One woman who said she’s been married for over 25 years said she didn’t see anything abusive in the books and yes it’s a different type of intimacy,she called Christian’s cruel,sick,sadistic,woman-hating,sexualized,romanticized abuses of Ana intimacy!
And they even voted down my post where I said I have tons of great research and information on the harms of pornography.
This is a major 2010 study by psychologist Neil Malamuth G.Hald, and C.Yuen called,Pornography and attitudes supporting violence against women: revisting the relationship in non experimental studies and found that present research found an overall significant positive association between pornography use and attitudes supporting violence against women! They found it was stronger for violent pornography but also significant with ”non-violent” pornography,the quotation marks are mine.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19862768
This great new article Fifty shades of Grey Eroticizes Torture by sexual violence and former sex crimes prosecutor Wendy Murphy
http://womensenews.org/story/media-stories/150219/fifty-shades-grey-eroticizes-torture
Below is a presentation by Eastern College Christian and Gender Scholar psychology professor Dr.Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen which talks about how much abundant consistent psychological research studies find few gender differences,and much more overlap similarities between them.
Trinity 2007
Opposite Sexes or Neighboring Sexes?
C.S. Lewis, Dorothy L. Sayers, and
the Psychology of Gender
Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen
Gender and Modern Social Science
C. S. Lewis was no fan of the emerging social sciences. He saw practitioners of the social sciences mainly as lackeys of technologically-minded natural scientists, bent on reducing individual freedom and moral accountability to mere epiphenomena of natural processes (See Lewis 1943 and 1970 b). And not surprisingly (given his passion for gender-essentialist archetypes), aside from a qualified appreciation of some aspects of Freudian psychoanalysis (See Lewis 1952 (Book III, Chapter 4) and 1969). “Carl Jung was the only philosopher [sic] of the Viennese school for whose work [Lewis] had much respect” (Sayer 102).
But the social sciences concerned with the psychology of gender have since shown that Sayers was right, and Lewis and Jung were wrong: women and men are not opposite sexes but neighboring sexes—and very close neighbors indeed. There are, it turns out, virtually no large, consistent sex differences in any psychological traits and behaviors, even when we consider the usual stereotypical suspects: that men are more aggressive, or just, or rational than women, and women are more empathic, verbal, or nurturing than men.
When differences are found, they are always average—
not absolute—differences. And in virtually all cases the small, average—and often decreasing—difference between the sexes is greatly exceeded by the amount of variability on that trait within members of each sex. Most of the “bell curves” for women and men (showing the distribution of a given psychological trait or behavior) overlap almost completely. So it is naïve at best (and deceptive at worst) to make even average—let alone absolute—pronouncements about essential archetypes in either sex when there is much more variability within than between the sexes on all the trait and behavior measures for which we have abundant data.
This criticism applies as much to C. S. Lewis and Carl Jung as it does to their currently most visible descendent, John Gray, who continues to claim (with no systematic empirical warrant) that men are from Mars and women are from Venus (Gray 1992).
http://thecresset.org/2007/VanLeeuwen_T2007.html
Sword between the Sexes?, A: C. S. Lewis and the Gender Debates – Page 188 – Google Books Result
books.google.com/books?isbn=1441212671
Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen – 2010 – Religion
C. S. Lewis and the Gender Debates Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen … indicates that women and men, boys and girls, are overwhelmingly more alike than different
Below is an email I wrote to Oxford University Gender communication professor Deborah Cameron author of the great important book,The Myth Of Mars and Venus Do Men and women Really Speak Different Languages?.
Dear Deborah,
I recently read your great important book, The Myth Of Mars & Venus. I read a bad review of the book, The Female Brain on Amazon.com US by psychologist David H.Perterzell he called it junk
science.
I also thought you would want to know that John Gray got his “Ph.D” from Columbia Pacific University which was closed down in March 2001 by the California Attorney General’s Office because he called it a diploma mill and a phony operation offering totally worthless degrees!
Also there is a Christian gender and psychology scholar and author psychology professor Dr. Mary Stewart Van Leewuen who teaches the psychology and Philosophy of Gender at the Christian College Eastern College in Pa. She has several online presentations that were done at different colleges from 2005- the present debunking the Mars & Venus myth.
One is called , Opposite Sexes Or Neighboring Sexes and sometimes adds, Beyond The Mars/Venus Rhetoric in which she explains that all of the large amount of research evidence from the social and behavorial sciences shows that the sexes are very close neighbors and that there are only small average differences between them many of which have gotten even smaller over the last several decades and in her great even longer article that isn’t online anymore called,What Do We Mean By “Male-Female Complentarity”? A Review Of Ronald W.Pierce,Rebecca M.Groothuis,and Gordon D.Fee,eds Discovering Biblical Equality:Complentarity Without Hierarchy, which she says happened after 1973 when gender roles were less rigid and that genetic differences can’t shrink like this and in such a short period of time, and that most large differences that are found are between individual people and that for almost every trait and behavior there is a large overlap between them and she said so it is naive at best and deceptive at worst to make claims about natural sex differences. etc.
She says he claims Men are From Mars & Women are From Venus with no emperical warrant and that his claim gets virtually no support from the large amount of psychological and behavioral sciences and that in keeping in line with the Christian Ethic and with what a bumper sticker she saw said and evidence from the behavioral and social sciences is , Men Are From,Earth ,Women Are From Earth Get Used To It. Comedian George Carlin said this too.
She also said that such dichotomous views of the sexes are apparently popular because people like simple answers to complex issues including relationships between men and women. She should have said especially relationships between them.She also said when I spoke wit her in 1998 and 1999 that human beings don’t have sex fixed in the brain,she said human beings adapt to their environments,and they develop certain characteristics in response to those environments but they are not fixed and unchangeable. Dr.Van Leeuwen also said that I’m correct that the human female and male brain is more alike than different and she said the brain is plastic and easily molded and shaped throughout life by different life experiences and environments.She said humans have a unique highly developed cerebal cortex which animals don’t and this enables people to learn things and make choices that animals can’t.
Sociologist Dr.Michael Kimmel writes and talks about this also including in his Media Education Foundation educational video. And he explains that all of the evidence from the psychological and behavioral sciences indicates that women and men are far more alike than different. He also demonstrated with a lot of research studies and evidence from the behavioral and social sciences that the sexes are more alike than different in his very good 2000 book,The Gendered Society which he updated several times in more extensive academic volumes called,The Gendered Society Reader.
Dr.Mary Stewart Van Leewuen says that there are no consistent large psychological sex differences found.
I have an excellent book from 1979 written by 2 parent child development psychologists Dr. Wendy Schemp Matthews and award winning psychologist from Columbia University, Dr.Jeane Brooks-Gunn, called He & She How Children Develop Their Sex Role Idenity.
They thoroughly demonstrate with tons of great studies and experiments by parent child psychologists that girl and boy babies are actually born more alike than different with very few differences but they are still perceived and treated systematically very different from the moment of birth on by parents and other adult care givers. They go up to the teen years.
I once spoke with Dr.Brooks-Gunn in 1994 and I asked her how she could explain all of these great studies that show that girl and boy babies are actually born more alike with few differences but are still perceived and treated so differently anyway, and she said that’s due to socialization and she
said there is no question, that socialization plays a very big part.
I know that many scientists(the good responsible ones) know that the brain is plastic and can be shaped and changed by different life experiences and different life time environments.
Also there are 2 great online rebuttals of the Mars & Venus myth by Susan Hamson called, The Rebuttal From Uranus and Out Of The Cave: Exploring Gray’s Anatomy by Kathleen Trigiani.
Also have you read the excellent book by social psychologist Dr.Gary Wood at The University of Birmingham called, Sex Lies & Stereotypes:Challenging Views Of Women, Men & Relationships? He clearly demonstrates with all of the research studies from psychology what Dr.Mary Stewart Van Leewuen does, and he debunks The Mars & Venus myth and shows that the sexes are biologically and psychologically more alike than different and how gender roles and differences are mostly socially created and how they are very limiting and emotionally damaging to both sexes mental and physical health and don’t only allow are encourage them to become more than only a half of a person instead of a whole human person with all of our shared*human* qualities!
Anyway, if you could write back when you have a chance I would
really appreciate it.
Thank You
Dr.Janet Shibley Hyde in this 2005 major meta-analysis of hundreds of studies by all different psychologists from decades that was written in American psychologist,the journal of The American Psychological Association,found that the sexes are more alike than different in almost all personality traits,abilities,etc.
http://www.apa.org/research/action/difference.aspx
In these extensive studies by psychologist Dr. Janet Shibley Hyde and others that is still on the American Psychological Association’s web site since 2006 and that was published in American psychologist the journal of The American Psychological Association,Think Again:Men and women Share Cognitive Skills.
It’s reported that Psychologists have gathered solid evidence that boys or girls or men and women differ in very few significant ways– differences that would matter in school or at work–in how,and how well they think.
http://www.apa.org/research/action/share.aspx
I have an excellent book from 1979 written by 2 parent child development psychologists Dr. Wendy Schemp Matthews and award winning psychologist from Columbia University, Dr.Jeane Brooks-Gunn, called He & She How Children Develop Their Sex Role Identity.
They thoroughly demonstrate with tons of great studies and experiments by parent child psychologists that girl and boy babies are actually born more alike than different with very few differences but they are still perceived and treated systematically very different from the moment of birth on by parents and other adult care givers. They go up to the teen years.
They also show that surveys show that boys are overwhelmingly preferred over girls,(sadly nothing has changed and sexist woman-hating,girl-hating Tee shirts that say( I’m Too Pretty For Homework So I Let My Brother Do It For Me) (and other sexist anti-female ads,pornography,etc do too) like these both reflect and contribute to this injustice.They also explain that when people guess if a pregnant woman is having a girl or a boy,and they list a whole bunch of false unproven sexist, gender myth,gender stereotyped,old wives tales,that assign all negative characteristics to a woman if they think she’s having a girl,and the imagined girls or given all of the negative characteristics.
For example they say that author Elana Belotti(1977) explained these examples, The man and woman each take hold of one end of a wishbone and pull it apart.If the longest part comes away in the man’s hand,the baby will be a boy. If you suddenly ask a pregnant woman what she has in her hand and she looks at her right hand first ,she will have a boy;if she looks at her left hand it will be a girl.If the mother’s belly is bigger on the right-hand side a boy will be born,and also if her right breast is bigger than her left,or if her right foot is more restless.
If a woman is placid during pregnancy she will have a boy,but if she is bad-tempered or cries a lot,she will have a girl.If her complexion is rosy she’s going to have a son;if she is pale a daughter. If her looks improve,she’s expecting a boy;if they worsen,a girl.If the fetal heartbeat is fast,it is a boy;if it is slow it is a girl.If the fetus has started to move by the fortieth day it will be a boy and the birth will be easy,but if it doesn’t move until the ninetieth day it will be a girl.( Belotti 1977,pp.22-23)
Dr.Brooks-Gunn and Wendy Schempp Matthews then say, now rate each of the characteristics above as positive or negative. A woman expecting a girl is pale,her looks deteriorate,she is cross and ill-tempered,and she gets the short end of the wishbone,all negative characteristics. They then say,furthermore ,a girl is symbolized by the left-the left hand,the left side of the belly,the left foot,the left breast. They say,left connotes evil,a bad omen,or sinister,again the girls have all of the negative characteristics.
They then say,that sex-role stereotypes about activity also characterize Belotti’s recipes:boys are believed to be active from the very beginning and girls have slower heartbeats and begin to move around later.They then say,the message although contradictory(girls cause more trouble even though they are more passive) is clear in that it reflects the sex-role stereotype that boys “do” while girls “are” and the belief that boys are more desirable than girls.
They also say that parents have gender stereotyped reasons for wanting a girl or a boy,obviously if they didn’t it wouldn’t matter if it’s a girl or boy.When my first cousin was pregnant with her first of two girls people even strangers said such false ridiculous things to her,that they were sure she was going to have a boy because she was carrying low or how stomach looked.
I once spoke with Dr.Brooks-Gunn in 1994 and I asked her how she could explain all of these great studies that show that girl and boy babies are actually born more alike with few differences but are still perceived and treated so differently anyway, and she said that’s due to socialization and she said there is no question, that socialization plays a very big part.
I know that many scientists know that the brain is plastic and can be shaped and changed by different life experiences and different environments too and Eastern College gender and Christian psychology professor Dr.Mary Stewart Van Leewuen told this to me too when I spoke to her 15 years ago. Dr.Van Leeuwen also said that human beings don’t have sex fixed in the brain and she told me that humans have a unique highly developed cerebral cortex that allows us to make choices in our behaviors and we can learn things that animals can’t.
There was another case in Canada that I read about online some years ago about another case in which a normal genetic male baby’s penis was destroyed when he was an infant and in this case he was raised as a girl from the much younger age of only 7 months old,not as late as 21 months as was David Reimer,and research shows that the core gender identity is learned by as early as 18 months old.
In this other case,it was reported in 1998 he was still living as a woman in his 20’s but a bisexual woman. With David Reimer they raised him as a girl too late after he learned most of his gender identity as a boy from the moment he was born and put into blue clothes, treated totally differently, given gender stereotyped toys, perceived and treated totally differently than girls are in every way(in the great book,He and She:How Children Develop Their Sex Role Identity it explains that a lot of research studies and tests by parent child psychologists found that they give 3 month old babies gender stereotyped toys long before they are able to develop these kinds of preferences or ask for these toys. They also found that when adults interacted with the same exact baby they didn’t know was a girl or boy who was dressed in gender neutral clothes,they decided if they *believed* it was a girl or boy.
And those adults who thought the baby was a boy,always handed the baby a toy foot ball,but never a doll and were asked what made them think it was a girl or boy and they said they used characteristics of the baby to make the judgement . Those who thought the baby was a boy described characteristics such as strength,those who thought the baby was a girl described the baby as having softness and fragility,and as the Dr.Jeanne Brooks-Gunn and Wendy Schempp Mathews explain,Again remember that the same infant was being characterized as strong or soft,the actual distinction by sex characteristics being only in the minds of the adults.
They also explain that in the toy preference studies,girl toddlers often show an initial interest in the trucks,but eventually abandon them for a more familiar type of toy. Also check out Kate Bornstein’s books,Gender Outlaw and My Gender Workbook,and recently a co-written book,Gender Outlaws. Kate used to be a heterosexual married man who fathered a daughter and then had a sex change and became a lesbian woman who now doesn’t indemnity as a man or a woman. I heard Kate interview in 1998 on a local NPR show and she totally debunks gender myths,and rejects the “feminine” and “masculine” categories as the mostly socially constructed categories that they really are.She even said,what does it mean to feel or think like a woman(or man) she said what does that really mean.
Public release date: 4-Nov-1999
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Contact: Penny Burge or Sharon Snow
burge@vt.edu or ssnow@vt.edu
Virginia Tech
20-year-old sex-role research survey still valid
BLACKSBURG, Va.
In the late 1970s, Penny Burge, director of Virginia Tech’s Women’s Center, was working on her doctoral dissertation at Penn State University researching the relationship between child-rearing sex-role attitudes and social issue sex-role attitudes among parents. As part of her research, Burge designed a 28-question survey in which respondents were asked to mark how much they agreed or disagreed with statements such as: “Only females should receive affectionate hugs as rewards,” “I would buy my son a doll,” and “I would be upset if my daughter wanted to play little league baseball.”
Hard-hitting questions, many of them. But Burge carried on. She received her degree in 1979, and in 1981 her research findings were published in the Home Economics Research Journal.
Among her findings were that respondents who named the mother as their child’s primary caretaker held more traditional child-rearing sex-role attitudes than respondents who named both parents. In addition, those respondents who held more traditional child-rearing sex-role attitudes also held more traditional social issue sex-role attitudes, and fathers were more conventional than mothers with respect to the issue of whether or not boys and girls should be raised differently.
“We found that parents do cling to traditional sex-role attitudes,” Burge said. “It was more pronounced with male children where pressure to achieve was more intense.”
Over the years, Burge occasionally received requests from other researchers for permission to use her survey in their own research. Burge always granted permission, but had redirected her research focus to gender equity in education. She had moved on in her career, serving on the faculty in Virginia Tech’s College of Human Resources and Education from 1979 to 1994 when she became director of the Women’s Center.
But a recent request from a researcher at New Mexico State University sparked her interest. The researcher, Betsy Cahill, had used Burge’s survey (with some modifications and additions) to conduct research on early childhood teachers’ attitudes toward gender roles. After the results of Cahill’s research were completed and published in The Journal of Sex Roles in 1997, some unexpected events occurred.
The Educational Testing Service, a national resource that makes research instruments more widely available to other researchers, requested permission to use the Burge and Cahill survey tools in its upcoming Test Collection, a reference publication for future researchers. “I was honored,” Burge said. “It was nice to have another researcher include my survey instrument in her own. And the request from the Educational Testing Service gave an additional sanction to my survey. It’s amazing to me that the same type of social questions are still valid after 20 years.”
And no one can dispute the past two decades have brought enormous social changes in the world, which leads to the second unexpected occurrence.
Cahill found that many of the findings from Burge’s research were still very much the same. For example, teachers who espoused traditional gender role beliefs for adults also did for children. For those who were more accepting of cross-gender role behaviors and aspirations, they were more accepting of these behaviors from girls than boys.
Enter Sharon Snow, newly hired assistant director of the Women’s Center at Virginia Tech, and the third coincidence regarding Burge’s survey tool. As part of a survey research class Snow took while working on her graduate degree at Texas Woman’s University, she cited Burge’s study in her literature review.
“As part of the class, we conducted a survey of students to determine their attitudes about gender roles in children,” Snow said. “We found that parents do indeed drive gender-based behavior. It’s not something that just happens naturally.”
So 20 year later, researchers find that parents still have a profound influence on their children’s gender roles.
“The most amazing finding is that despite tremendous societal change over the past two decades, many parents still hold fast to raising their children with traditional sex-roles,” Burge said.
Pub. Date: February 1999
Publisher: MIT Press
Why So Slow?: The Advancement of Women
by Virginia Valian
Overview
Why do so few women occupy positions of power and prestige? Virginia Valian uses concepts and data from psychology, sociology, economics, and biology to explain the disparity in the professional advancement of men and women. According to Valian, men and women alike have implicit hypotheses about gender differences — gender schemas — that create small sex differences in characteristics, behaviors, perceptions, and evaluations of men and women. Those small imbalances accumulate to advantage men and disadvantage women. The most important consequence of gender schemas for professional life is that men tend to be overrated and women underrated. Valian’s goal is to make the invisible factors that retard women’s progress visible, so that fair treatment of men and women will be possible. The book makes its case with experimental and observational data from laboratory and field studies of children and adults, and with statistical documentation on men and women in the professions. The many anecdotal examples throughout provide a lively counterpoint.
What People Are Saying
The MIT Press
Editorial Reviews
From the Publisher
Publishers Weekly
Social psychologist Valian thinks that the Western world has gotten gender all wrong. “As social beings we tend to perceive the genders as alternatives to each other, as occupying opposite and contrasting ends of a continuum,” she writes, “even though the sexes are not opposite but are much more alike than they are different.” Indeed, despite nearly three decades of feminism, “gender schema”the assumption that masculine and feminine characteristics determine personality and ability continue to influence the expectations and thinking of most Americans. Just about everyone, Valian writes, assumes that men are independent, task-oriented and assertive, while women are tagged as expressive and nurturing. As such, women lag behind in many professions and continue to do the lion’s share of housework and child-rearing. Girls remain less attentive in math and science, while even women who attend medical school tend to steer themselves into “gender appropriate” slots such as family practice or pediatrics. Valian bases her findings on research conducted by social scientists in fields as disparate as psychology, education, sociology and economics, and the result is a work that is both scholarly and anecdotally rich. But it also posits concrete suggestions for changing the way we view the sexes, from stepped-up affirmative action programs, to timetables for rectifying gender-based valuations. Accessible and lively, Why So Slow? is a breakthrough in the discourse on gender and has great potential to move the women’s movement to a new, more productive phase. (Jan.)
Product Details
ISBN-13: 9780262720311
Publisher: MIT Press
Publication date: 2/5/1999
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 421
Sales rank: 726,586
Table of Contents
Preface
Acknowledgments
A Note on Method and Scope
1 Gender Schemas at Work 1
2 Gender Begins – and Continues – at Home 23
3 Learning About Gender 47
4 Biology and Behavior 67
5 Biology and Cognition 81
6 Schemas That Explain Behavior 103
7 Evaluating Women and Men 125
8 Effects on the Self 145
9 Interpreting Success and Failure 167
10 Women in the Professions 187
11 Women in Academia 217
12 Professional Performance and Human Values 251
13 Affirmative Action and the Law 277
14 Remedies 303
Notes 333
References 353
Author Index 385
Subject Index 393
© 1997-2013 Barnesandnoble.com llc
In her very good important 1998 book,Why So Slow? The Advancement Of women, she says for parents who recognize and actively oppose the limitations of gender schemas matters are more complex she demonstrates clearly that many studies have shown that even parents who say they are egalitarian and who do encourage their children especially girls to consider a wide range of possible occupations and that encouragement influences the children’s aspirations.She then says but without realizing it on the other hand,they are affected by gender schemas,dressing their children in ways appropriate to their gender.
She then says that their egalitarian beliefs prevent such parents from perceiving that they do encourage gender-specific patterns and from seeing how closely their children conform to the norm.She then says that gender schemas are powerful cultural forces and that adults cannot simply abandon them especially when they are unaware that they hold them and they too conform to them in such matters of dress.On another page she says that everyone,it appears is likely to be affected deeply and nonconsciously by their culture’s view of what it means to be male and female.Then she says that even people who consciously espouse egalitarian beliefs do not realize how profoundly they have internalized the culture’s norms and applied them to their children.
She then says that there is wide implicit consensus across income level,education,and sex about the core features of gender schemas and for these features parents are much more alike than they are different.She then says regardless of demographic variables,most subscribe to basic gender norms ,dress gender stereotypically themselves,and unwittingly treat their children gender-stereotypically.Then she says parents who actively endorse gender schemas or are unaware of the impact of gender schemas on their perceptions and interpretations,perceive children as gendered from birth and treat them accordingly.
She also says that studies show that even parents who deliberately try to rear their children nonstereotypically are subject to the influence of gender schemas.She says a study of six year olds for example compared children whose mothers explicitly tried to bring them up in gender-neutral ways with children whose mothers had conventional attitudes about gender roles. And that when independent observers who were unaware of the parents beliefs rated the children’s clothes as masculine or feminine the ratings showed that the boys and girls in both types of families were dressed according to gender norms.She explains that the mothers who were committed to gender equality however saw their children’s clothes as less gender-stereotypical even though they were not.
She shows how parents perceive and treat their daughters and sons so differently from the moment they are born and she says in chapter 1 called Gender Schemas At work that gender schemas oversimplify and that masculine and feminine traits are not opposites of each other and they are not contradictory and that everyone has both to some degree and expresses different traits in different situations.She then says that differences exist, but the sexes are more alike than they are different and she says it is easy to lose sight of that reality,even though most differences between the sexes are small.
There is an excellent online article that I printed out 13 years ago,by Jungian psychologist Dr.Gary S.Toub,called,Jung and Gender:Masculine and Feminine Revisted. On his site it now only has part of this article and it says you have to register to read the full article. I emailed Dr.Toub years ago and he wrote me back several nice emails,in one he said he really liked my letter,and that it was filled to the brim with excellent points and references.
In this article he talks about what parts of Jungian thought he finds useful and what he finds problematic. The first thing he says he finds useful is, In the course of Jungian analysis, he often assists female clients to discover traditionally,masculine qualities in their psyche and that he likewise frequently assist male clients to recognize traditionally feminine qualities in their psyche. He says this process frees each gender from the straight-jacket of stereotyped sex roles and expands his clients identities. He then said that the process also mirrors and furthers the breakdown of male-female polarization in our culture,and the cultural shifts towards androgyny.
He also says that most importantly, his practice of Jungian analysis places the greatest emphasis on facilitating his clients individuation process. He says this means that he tries to assist clients,male or female,to search for their authentic self-definition,distinct from society’s gender expectations.He also says that many Jungian definitions of masculine and feminine are narrow,outdated and sexist.
He also says that he has found that generalizing about what is masculine and what is feminine is dangerous,often perpetuating gender myths that are discriminatory and damaging.He says while there is some research supporting biological roots to personality differences,the majority of studies suggest that much of what is considered masculine or feminine is culture determined.
He also says that viewing masculine and feminine as complementary opposites,while useful at times,is problematic. He then says as his gay,lesbian, and transsexual clients have taught him,gender is more accurately viewed as encompassing a wide-ranging continuum. He then says that likewise,the more people he sees in his practice,the more he is impressed at the great diversity in human nature. He says he has seen men of all types and varieties,and women of all kinds. He then says,he is hard-pressed to come up with very many generalizations based on gender.He says he knows that there are some statistical patterns,but how useful are they when he works with individuals and in a rapidly changing society? He says if each person is unique,no statistical norm or average will be able to define who my client is.
He then says,from a psychological perspective,men and women are not, in fact,opposite. He says his clinical experience is that they are much more psychologically alike than different,and the differences that exist are not necessarily opposing.
http://newint.org/features/1990/10/05/hate/
Why Men Hate Women by psychology professor Celia Kitzinger
Interview with long time feminist Letty Cottin Pogrebin about her teaching and erasing her two twin daughters and her son with non-sexist non-gender roles and gender stereotypes.
http://www.smith.edu/libraries/libs/ssc/activist/transcripts/Pogrebin.pdf
Feminist Letty Cottin Pogrebin’s son didn’t reject playing with dolls and tea sets, just as her identical twin daughters didn’t reject the non-gender stereotyped toys and behaviors she encouraged them to have. And her son didn’t grow up gay or transgendered he’s married and I think has children,but he didn’t grow up to be a macho football player either,as Letty said he’s a chef and loves to cook.
And there is a lot wrong with sexist very limiting gender roles,gender myths and gender stereotypes that are mostly artificially created by the very sexist,gender divided,gender stereotyped,woman-hating male dominated family and society we all live in,which makes both sexes,into only half of a person,instead of full human people able to develop and express their full shared *human* traits,abilities,and behaviors etc. And then these artificial gender differences continue to reinforce gender inequalities,male dominance and men’s violence against women,children and even each other.
There is a great 2005 book,Sex Lies And Stereotypes Challenging Views Of Women,Men and Relationships by social and cognitive British psychologist Dr.Gary Wood.He too shows plenty of great important research studies done over decades by many different psychologists that finds small average sex differences,and the sexes are much more similar than different.He also thoroughly demonstrates that gender roles,gender myths and gender stereotypes which are mostly socially and culturally constructed,harm both sexes because they are very liming,cause conflicts and misunderstands between women and men,and only allow each of them to become half of a person which can cause mental and physical conditions and diseases.
Also there is a lot of evidence from sociologists and anthropologists that there are androgynous cultures. Many anthropologists like Walter Williams author of the award winning,The Spirit and The Flesh,and many other anthropologists have done field work for decades in places like Tahiti and Malaysia, women and men are encouraged to have androgynous roles there and they are not polarized into “opposite” categories and gender roles,and they are more alike in their personalities and behaviors. This is thoroughly explained in the good book,
Manhood In The Making:Cultural Concepts Of Masculinity.
And the men there unlike in our very gender divided,gender stereotyped, sexist male dominated society ,aren’t punished for being similar to women or appearing so-called “feminine”, they are encouraged and rewarded for it! And it’s in the very gender divided, gender stereotyped sexist male dominated societies where the sexes are polarized into “opposite” categories and gender roles that makes *more* gender differences!
Have you ever read any of the excellent books by acclaimed radical feminist psychologist Phyllis Chesler? When I wrote to Gloria Steinem when I was 22 she wrote me back a great response and suggested I read Women And Madness by Phyllis Chesler and that I would find that it made me feel less alone.
I was only 7 when that book came out and I had never heard of her, so I read it and it’s great powerful information as are her other books that I went on to also read, her great book About Men, which came out in 1978, and (Gloria also gave a great review on the cover) and I read it about 15 years ago for the first time. She interviewed 100’s of men and many of them were married. In her chapter called Wombless Men, she has pictures of sculptures and paintings by famous male artists like Salvador Dali, and Michaelangelo etc and she demonstrates and talks a lot about men’s subconscious fear and envy of the womb and men’s (crazy!) hatred of women. 1 of her references in her extensive bibliography is psychiatrist Wolfgang Lederer’s 1968 book, The Fear Of Women in he which explained the same things.
She also has a chapter called Phallic Sexuality and in the beginning of it she has a little boy interviewed by a Dr.Richard Green about Sexual Indemnity Conflict in Children and Adults and he was asked if he ever wished he had been born a girl, and he said yes. Dr.Green asks him why does he wish that, and the little boy says, girls they don’t have to have a penis. The doctor says they don’t have to have a penis? The little boy then says they can have babies. The doctor then says to him why do you think girls don’t have to have a penis?
And the little boy says Cause they have to have babies … and babies can’t come out of a penis… babies come out of a vagina… The doctor then says to him , your penis gives you a nice feeling doesn’t it? You’re not scared of it when it gets big and stiff are you ? The boy says no. The doctor says good ! It’s supposed to do that when you tickle it. That’s one big advantage for being a boy cause girls can’t do that you know. The boy says Um hum. The doctor then says to him, sure they can have babies but only boys can have a penis stand up like that.
In the beginning of her chapter Wombless Men she has woman hater Freud interviewing a 5 year old boy patient and Freud says to him, But only women have children. Hans the little boy says he’s going to have a little girl. Freud says you’d like to have a little girl.Hans says yes next year I’m going to have one. Freud says to him but you can’t have a little girl. Hans says, Oh yes boys have girls and girls have boys. Freud says, boys don’t have children only women ,only Mummies have children. Hans says, but why shouldn’t I ? She also says in the chapter,On having A Penis and she interviewed 100’s of men about having a penis,that female blood regularly shed,reminds men of their “castration” fear,and that it also reminds them of their deeply repressed desire to *bear* children and of their inability to do so.She also says in the chapter,Wombless Men that male science,male alchemy,is partially rooted in male uterus envy,the desire to be able to create something miraculous out of male inventiveness. However,men in science have carried us all to the brink of total planetary,genetic and human destruction,repressed and unresolved uterus-envy is a dangerous emotion.
She also has a chapter on Pornography and Other Male Sexual Fantasies. And she says in the chapter Wombless Men that it is no accident that books of pornographic or erotic art are also the source of many expressions of womb envy. In Dr.Chesler’s great 1994 book, Patriarchy Notes Of An Expert Witness she explains that both wife beaters,pedophiles serial killers of women were addicted to pornography. She also explains that serial killers are mainly white male drifters obsessed with pornography and woman-hatred who sexually use their victims, either before or after killing them and who were themselves *paternally* abused children, and as adults they scapegoat not fathers but mainly women , sometimes children , sometimes male homosexuals who are seen as “feminine” or vulnerable. She then says that serial killers may be responsible for the daily and permanent , disappearance of 1000’s of prostituted and non-prostituted women each and every year all across the US.
She also talks a lot about how sadly, women have been taught to hate themselves and each other because of the crazy male dominated woman hating society! She has many good reviews for her book, Woman’s Inhumanity To Woman which I also want to read.
Also in 1997 ( I also wrote to Dr. Chester at this time and she wrote back a note and sent me some articles she had written) I spoke with her secretary who was in her 50’s or early 60’s and she told me that she read several chapters in one of Dr. Chester’s books, and that it was very interesting. I told her that I read several of her whole books. I said to her how unreal and crazy it is that men hate women for *no* rational reasons and that they are born and nurtured by *women* that their mothers are *women* and that most women have been kind to their sons, husbands and to men in general even though they have hated and discriminated against us, and have been doing all of these horrible injustices to women for 1000’s of years ! And she said, it’s crazy and unreal but it’s true!
http://50shadesisdomesticabuse.webs.com/apps/blog/show/18810040-fifty-shades-a-male-perspective
http://web2.iadfw.net/ktrig246/out_of_cave/sss.html
http://web2.iadfw.net/ktrig246/out_of_cave/essay3.html
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Very good recent article by Mark Hughes in Forbes,Fifty Shades of Grey Abusive Gender Roles Disguised As Faux Feminism
http://www.forbes.com/sites/markhughes/2015/02/13/review-fifty-shades-of-grey-is-abusive-gender-roles-disguised-as-faux-feminism/
Please read this strong feminist criticism and analysis by many Live Journal members on how Fifty Shades Of Grey is dangerous because it normalizes, sexualizes, and excuses Christian Grey’s cruelty and violence towards Ana and is so disturbingly popular with women and being constantly glorified in the media.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html?thread=15169655#t15169655
On this same Live Journal member redblonde7 says that everything Grey does is excused because he’s rich and pretty.And she says that Grey is so horrible that the book could have ended in Ana’s murder and it wouldn’t have surprised her.And she also said,and yes there are men (and women) out there who are charming and beautiful but rotten on the inside.And said even the whole ‘he was abused so it wasn’t his fault’ excuse would not be used if he wasn’t rich and handsome.
One member insanepurin says she’s frightened by Fifty Shades and said that I think that what gets me about 50 Shades is that horrific people like Hellspawn(what ,many members call Christian Grey) are real and she then says and not only does the series praise him as the ultimate guy and that a relationship like his with Ana is a dream come true,*He is adored* and *praised by millions of women everywhere*. She then says not just mere millions,we’re talking best seller levels . Then she says,to celebrate mediocrity is one thing,but celebrating rape and abuse?
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html?thread=9149303#t9149303
Here a live journal member in this same discussion says that it would be less annoying if it didn’t include the “abuse” part.He doesn’t come across as a really horny guy in love with Ana,he acts like a serial killer planning his next kill.NONE of it is sexy.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html?thread=9126007#t9126007
Here is more responses talking about how frightening it is that Ana and Christian have children and a daughter in Fifty Shades and they say that Christian will likely physically and sexually abuse his daughter(s)! Member insanepurin said if there’s one good thing it did,it’s finally convinced her to get off her a*s and volunteer at a women’s shelter and that training classes start today where she lives.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html?thread=9225079#t9225079
Here they are discussing how Fifty Shades makes justifications for Christian breaking into Ana’s apartment and raping her and the unforgivable disgusting acts he’s committed thus far.And member amy_wolf says that this book is actually an effective illustration of how,”Oh but he was abused!” isn’t compassionate towards the victims of violence,because it distracts everyone from recognizing that someone who does that kind of thing needs to stop or *be* stopped.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html
This member accidentalzombi says that if this crap actually gets made into a movie, I will gather everyone I can and protest it.THAT’S HOW ANGRY I GET. Member lang_ea says yeah I would actually walk up to the movie theatres and staple over the movie poster ‘American Psycho’ or ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’. Then she says I would try like, at early mornings,midnight,anything, until the movie theater people GIVE up.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html?thread=9271671#t9271671
Here member gehayi says that the series is * highly MISOGYNISTIC* Then they said the books praise male-on-female rape and lack of consent as romantic. They give many bad examples of this in the books.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html member commander30 said June 2nd 2013 that she just wanted to share this. That her mother and her butt heads a lot but she still considers her to be one of the most intelligent people she knows,with a strong sense of right and wrong and standing up for yourself and all that,and while they argue a lot she still looks up to her.She then says,last week my parents went on vacation to Myrtle Beach with her aunt,uncle and younger brother. And her uncle posted a picture on Facebook of her mother on the beach reading Fifty Shades Of Grey.She says she honestly felt dismayed and a little sickened at that,and she commented ”Dislike,I’m so ashamed of you Mom” because she just couldn’t let it go.
She said her Mom’s response?
“Yeah. It is truly a disgusting book. I must finish it to see the depth to which depravity,degradation,debauchery can sink to.” She then says,I cannot tell you how happy she was to read that. And she says now I only hope that she didn’t pay money for the book and is just reading a borrowed copy.
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html
Member gnosticdiva says with provided links on here,that Christian Grey’ing and Fifty Shades Of Grey are now entries on Urban Dictionary.So member gehayi says she LOVES the definitions especially this one,Christian Grey:verb the act of ravaging a person sexually while blaming one’s sexual deviance on a broken psyche,thereby converting the once vile act of near-rape into something your partner (and women everywhere) will perceive as romantic and desirable.Here begins a discussion that the movie has been casted and is due out
http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/338295.html?thread=15169655#t15169655
Here is a letter I recently wrote to the British site 50shadesisdomesticabuse that Natalie Collins is a member and part creator of because they very disturbingly changed what they had originally said on their site and are now very disturbingly saying that the Fifty Shades books dangerously misrepresents BDSM I said in parenthesis ( that it’s the BDSM and the normalization of it that is so dangerous and horrible!) and they say and it gives the impression that the lifestyle stems from an abused child and needs to be ”cured”. I said it does!
They obviously very disturbingly have been influenced by criticisms by the sickos who practice BDSM.They originally said on their site in 2012 that the Fifty Shades books portray sexual,emotional,physical and psychological abuse as not only normal but something to inspire to.Now they just say that the books romanticize stalking,manipulation,threats,unwanted control,isolation and coercion,but *nothing* now about the sadistic sexual and physical violence towards Ana by Christian! Because this is ”just” BDSM.
50 Shades is Domestic Abuse,
It’s very upsetting and disappointing that you changed what you had originally said here below.You didn’t mention and defend sick,violent sadistic,woman-hating,male dominated, damaging abusive BDSM and disturbingly say that the problem with this horrendous Fifty Shades of Grey is that it misrepresents ”true” BDSM.And you didn’t say that the abuse in the books was just romanticizing stalking,manipulation,threats,unwanted control,isolation and coercion. You said these books portray sexual,emotional,physical and psychological abuse as not only normal but something to inspire to.
And you also disturbingly now say that Fifty Shades dangerously misrepresent BDSM ( it’s the BDSM and the normalization of it that is so dangerous and horrible!) and give the impression the lifestyle stems from an abused childhood and needs to be ”cured”. It does! You obviously very disturbingly and very disappointingly got criticisms from the sickos who practice BDSM.
For 20 years I have had feminist sex researcher Shere Hite’s excellent book,The Hite Report On The Family:Growing Up Under The Patriarchy in which over 1000 girls and women and over 2000 boys and men from countries all over the world,mostly from the US and then Briton, answered question surveys about their experiences growing up in a sexist gender divided,gender stereotyped, male dominated,family and society,and the messages and training they got into “feminine” and “masculine” and she addressed how sadomasochism is about confusing “love” as power and control and aggression and submission and pain and this goes back to childhood spankings and how in sadomasochistic pornography it’s almost always the woman who experiences pain and domination of her body,and how it’s a statement about the power relationship between men and women,and as she said sometimes an incitement to men to abuse women.
She also mentions child abuse expert Alice Miller and a book,Spare The Child by Phillip Grevin about how childhood spankings get eroticized for adults and that sadomasochistic whippings and beatings by adults stems from this.
I read Gloria Steinem’s great important quotes on the great informative AntiPornography.org’s Gloria page about how pornography sexualizes,eroticizes,and normalizes men’s domination,women’s submission,and men’s violence and teaches that this is what sex is,and no other equal alternatives. And how she said we have to eroticize equality. And also what she says about sadomasochism being in society’s where is a lot of child abuse,and also that the confusion of sex with violence is most obvious in any form of sadomasochism.
I have her best selling great book since it came out in the Fall of 1983,Outrageous Acts And Everyday Rebellions and so I had a lot of her quotes from there,but I see she revised some of them in her 1995 addition and added to it. Even one of the many women on Amazon.com who gave the book a bad review and said on every level,artistically,politically and psychologically the book is misogynistic junk and she said Gloria Steinem speak out against this crap book PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is quotes by Gloria on the excellent *feminist* anti-pornography educational activist site,Anti-Pornography.org and they have a section on Fifty Shades Of Grey Harm and how it normalizes,sexualizes and glamorizes sexual,physical,and emotional abuse and is a for of domestic violence against women and the harms of S&M.Gloria said in 2006,”Pornography is a marketing device for sex trafficking:it normalizes degradation and violence as acceptable and even invitable parts of sex,and uses the bodies of real women and children as objects.The difference between pornography and erotica is clear in the roots of the words themselves-porne means female slaves,eros means love-so pornography like rape is about violence and domination not sex. Millions of lives depend on our ability to separate pornography from erotica and to disentangle violence from sexuality.” This is everything this horrible Fifty Shades of Sexist,Violent,Dangerous,Damaging,Woman-Hating sexualizes,normalizes and eroticizes!
PRO FEMINIST BEN BARKER ON THE SICKNESS & HARM OF SADOMASOCHISM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etw8QmH23i4
https://twitter.com/nosadomasochism
http://www.antipornography.org/sadomasochism.html
From the excellent feminist anti-pornography educational site Anti-Pornography.org on the many harms of pornography.
It says Fifty Shades Of Grey Harm-Violence Against Women,Mental,Emotional and Physical Abuse,Domestic Violence,Sadomasochism etc.
http://www.antipornography.org/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_harm.html
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50 Shades is Domestic Abuse
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This website has been set up to campaign against the “50 Shades of Grey” book series. These books have been portrayed as a erotic fiction and have gained total acceptability throughout popular culture. As campaigners, workers, women who have experienced domestic abuse and preventers of violence against women, we stand up to say these books are not erotic fiction, but the full reality of domestic abuse. Putting the series as erotic fiction gives it credibility that it does not deserve. These books portray sexual, emotional, physical and psychological violence and abuse as not only normal, but as something to aspire to. As people committed to the eradication of violence against women we reject the normalising of abuse these books are perpetuating and we call you to join us.
Join us in fighting back!
You can download a book cover here which you can print and place in the shops where you find them. Please take pictures/videos of books you have covered and post them on twitter and/or facebook and email them to us and we will upload them to our website photo album.
We can make a difference and see these books publically becoming unacceptable to read! We can do this! Join us!
Create a free website at Webs.com
http://www.liftalliance.org/blog/twilight-in-the-rear-view-mirror/
Twilight In The Rear View Mirror by Diane McDainel
Rhodes
This is a very good post about the frequent domestic violence of Bella
by Edward in Twilight.She says critics and fans alike are commenting on the
spooky resemblance between Edward and Bella’s romance and partner violence. She
then says,stalking,manipulation,threats of suicide,control,isolation,deceit,submission and death lead this passionate star-crossed couple to inhuman eternal
happiness.
Diane then says,for example recent research has identified more than 75 episodes of physical violence or threats of physical violence in the story,with two thirds of that violence perpetrated by Edward on Bella and a third perpetrated by Jacob on Bella.She mentions that even though Bella and Edward conservatively don’t have sex until after they marry,their ensuing sexual relationship is violent causing Bella visible injury.She also says what’s equally disconcerting is Bella’s acceptance of the violence directed against her and she says that Bella’s reckoning seems it’s right to sacrifice everything for those you love.
For some reason Diane says that in this context the story has a strong post-feminist undertow.Then she says not really the messages many of us hope for young women.
She also discusses what a dangerous message this is not only giving to teen girls and young women but to teen boys and men also that this is how women want
to be treated by them and that this is what boys and men should be like because
women love them to be this way.This was written February 26 2013 months before
her long great dissertation that is dated December 2013 and she mentions that the Fifty Shades trilogy was based on it with a name change to avoid plagiarism which is what many reviewers on amazon.com and feminist blogs also point out in their bad reviews of it.
Some sensible concerned people have pointed out that Edward is an
unrealistic vampire and even this story has had a bad influence on teen girls
and women to find this dominance,stalking,and abuse ”sexy,”normal” and
”romantic” and they rightfully point out that Christian Grey who is even more sadistic,woman-hating and violent,is not an unrealistic vampire but described as
a real human man so this is even *more* dangerous and damaging!
Feminist Cedar Goslin points this out very well in her great feminist 4 part Fifty Shades of Wrong that used to be public,but now she unfortunately made her blog private (she also says that the books and our fascination with them and the way portray each gender in such an unhealthy way shows what a sick society we live in) and says that after Twilight first came out surveys suggested that young women
became more attracted to domineering men and traditional gender roles.She also
says that young women also began to find abusive behaviors such as stalking and
social control to be ”romantic” and that all of these young women were avid
fans of Twilight and said that they would model their relationships after the
romance between Edward and Bella.Part of what she then says in another response
on here to a poster,is the fact is the book Fifty Shades of Grey is mental
poison sociologically speaking and she says it is a fact that human behaviors
such as gender roles are modeled after examples given to the people in
question;these examples include real people and media such as television and
books.
Cedar then says,that after Twilight became popular research and surveys
showed a dramatic change in how young girls viewed the ideal relationship.She
then says that they wanted to be protected and controlled;they thought it was
feminine to be weak,demure and defenseless.And they thought stalkerish and
controlling behaviors were romantic.Cedar then rightly says,that if Twilight,set
in a fantastical version of our own world can have such an impact,isn’t it fair
to say that Shades of Grey could be teaching equally unhealthy gender roles? And
then she says more good important things about
this.
Since for some unkown reason the link isn’t being posted,I want to let you and everyone know that there is another great feminist strong criticism and analysis by Catherine Winchester called The Trouble With 50 Shades of Grey
Also psychiatrist Dr.Park Elliote Dietz also said in his August 1986 speech on the harms and unhealthyness of pornography that people have been badly injured or died from bondage S&M gear!
I meant Park Elliot Dietz
John Lennon is a great example of people can change and are not fixed to be a certain way as a man or a woman.Yoko changed John into a much better person as a pro-feminist man and the feminist changes *are* for the better,and many pro-feminist men have recognized this too! They say it has freed them and allowed them to develop and express more of all of the shared common *human* traits,emotions,behaviors,abilities and reduce and prevent male violence against women and children etc. Definitions of “masculine” and “feminine” differ across time periods,and in different societies.
John Lennon is a great example of how feminism changing limited artificial gender definitions and roles,changed him for the much better. John as a child and teenager had a lot of traumas that permanently psychologically damaged him,but because of his and Yoko’s beautiful loving relationship,and as he said she was a feminist before he met her,(and he said that because she was a feminist before he met her,they were going to have to have a 50/50 equal relationship which he never had before) he went in to primal scream therapy and Yoko went with him and he dealt with all of his pain and anger for the very first time at age 29.
When John was a young guy,he was often drunk getting into fist fights with men,hitting women,and womanizing including cheating on his girlfriends and then his first wife Cynthia.Of course Paul,George and Ringo did the same with all of the groupies all 4 of them had while touring from 1963-1966. I hadn’t watched these Mike Douglas shows in years until December 2010 when it was the 30th anniversary of John’s tragic murder.
Out of the 5 Mike Douglas shows that John and Yoko co-hosted for a week that was taped in January 1972 ( Ihadn’t watched these tapes in years until last December with the 30 year annivesary of John’s tragic murder) and aired in February,a young criminal lawyer Rena Uviller(she went on to become a Supreme Court Judge) who worked with juveniles, and she,Mike Douglas,John and Yoko were discussing the then very recent women’s liberation movement. George Carlin was on too.
Rena said,she agrees with Yoko,that the idea of Women’s lib is to liberate all of us,and she said ,I mean we could talk hours on the way men really suffer under the sex role definitions.Yoko agreed with what she said too. Rena said that men don’t really realize they have only to gain from Women’s Lib,and that she thinks that maybe with a little more propaganda we can convince them.
John then said,yeah there is a lot to gain from it,just the fact that you can relax and not have to play that male role,he said we can do that,and he said that I can be weak,( but notice how then in a male dominated gender divided,gender stereotyped,sexist society,and even unfortunately still now in a lot of ways,the “female” role was defined as the weak one,and the male role as the strong one) I don’t have to protect her all the time and play you know that super hero,I don’t have to play that,she allows me to be weak sometimes and for me to cry,and for her to be the strong one,and for me to be the weak one. John then said,and it really is a great relief,after 28 years of trying to be tough,you know trying to show them,I don’t give a da*n and I’m this and I’m that,to be able to relax.and just be able to say,OK I’m no tough guy forget it.
Rena then said,I think in some funny way,I think girls even as children,have a greater lattitude because a little girl can be sort of frilly and feminine or she can be a tomboy and it’s acceptable,but a little boy if he’s not tossing that football,there’s a lot of pressure on him.John said,there’s a lot of pressure,not to show emotion,and he said that there was a lot of pressure on me not to be an artist,to be a chemist and he said he discussed this on another Mike Douglas episode.
Rena said that unfortunately some of the leaders in the Women’s Liberation movement fall victim to being spokesmen,for Women’s Lib, and yet at least in public personality they seem to really have a certain amount of contempt for the hair curled housewife and there is a kind of sneering contempt,and she said I think it’s a measure of their own lack of liberation.And Yoko said it’s snobbery,and Rena said yeah,they really don’t like other women,but I’m sympathetic,and Mike Douglas then said a sexist woman-hating statement,saying,well women don’t like other women period.Rena said,no see that’s very unliberated and Yoko said, in response to what Mike Douglas said,that’s not true,that’s not true.And John said,you see they are brought up to compete with men.
Yoko said that even though in Japan they say they don’t have much of a woman problem and women already had some liberation,there is still a long way to go that she really agrees with Rena that so many female liberation movement people basically hate women,and we have to first start to understand women and love them whether they are housewives or not,and she said that snobbery is very bad and we have to somehow find out a way to co-existing with men,and she asked Rena don’t you think so and she said most definitely. George Carlin said,that actually many successful women are acting out male roles just like a lot of blacks think they escaped are acting out white roles.John also said that he thinks that women have to try twice as hard as to make it as men,and he said you know they have to be on their toes much more than a man.
On another Mike Douglas episode from the same week,former actress and acclaimed film maker Barbara Loden was on and Yoko had requested her as a guest.John asked her ,Did you have any problems working with the men,you know like giving them instructions and things like that and Barbara said,I did, but I think it was because I was afraid that they would not accept what I said,and I wasn’t quite that authoritative in my own self.John said it’s certainly a brave thing to do,and Yoko said it is.
Mike Douglas asked Yoko if John’s attitude had changed much towards her since The Female Liberation Movement,and at first Yoko says John’s attitude from the beginning was the same,and that they met on that level.John then says,twice, I was a male chauvinist and Yoko says,yes he was a male chauvinist but,and then John says,Can I say how you taught me,and Yoko says yes.John says,How I did it in my head was,would I ask Paul or George,or would I treat them the way I would treat a woman? John then said,it’s a very simple thing maybe it’s fetch that or do that ,and I started thinking if I said that to them,they’d say come on get it yourself,and if you put your wife or your girl friend in the position of your best friend,and say now would I say that to him,then you know when you’re treading on some delicate feelings.
Mike Douglas said years later that after this week of John and Yoko co-hosting his show,many young people who had never watched his show before,(and his main audience was middle America and people older than their 20’s and even mostly their 30’s) told him they loved the show,and that it was great and his ratings went up high for those shows.Even if John didn’t always live up to his feminist ideals and beliefs in his personal life,(although he did with Yoko because of her and this why and how he emotionally evolved into a caring,nurturing,house husband and father to Yoko and Sean),just the fact that he spoke out as a man in support of the feminist movement on a popular TV show back in early 1972 when most of the sexist male dominated woman-hating society looked down at it and considered it crazy which in some ways it’s still unfortunately wrongly misunderstood(and it’s really the male dominated,sexist,woman-hating society that has always been so wrong and crazy!),and the fact that John was (and still is) greatly admired and influential to many young people male and female,he did *a lot* to legitimize it and show it was rational,reasonable,needed and right!
A few months later he was performing Woman Is The Ni**er Of The World on The Dick Cavett Show and then months after that live in Madison Square Garden.In his very last radio interview done by Dave Sholin etc from RKO Radio just hours before he was tragically shot and killed, John said I’m more feminist now than I was when I sang Woman Is The N**ger,I was intelectually feminist then but now I feel as though at least I’ve put not my own money,but my body where my mouth is and I’m living up to my own preachings as it were. He also said what is this BS men are this way, women are that way,we’re all human.
In January 1972 John and Yoko co-hosted the Mike Douglas show and Mike Douglas said to John and Yoko,You’re both so different,you had such different childhoods. John said,it’s incredible isn’t it? Yoko said,Yes! Mike asked,What do you think has attracted you to each other? Yoko said,We’re very similar.John then said,She came from a Japanese upper-middle class family.Her parents were bankers and all that jazz,very straight.He said they were trying to get her off with an ambassador when she was 18.You know,now is the time you marry the ambassador and we get all settled. I come from a an upper-working class family in Liverpool,the other end of the world. John then said,we met but our minds are so similar,our ideas are so similar.It was incredible that we could be so alike from different enviornments,and I don’t know what it is,but we’re very similar in our heads.And we look alike too!
Mike also asked John about his painful childhood,and how his father left him when he was 5,and John said how he only came back into his life when he was successful and famous(20 years later!),and John said he knew that I was living all those years in the same house with my auntie,but he never visited him.He said when he came back into his life all those years later,he looked after his father for the same amount of time he looked after him,about 4 years.
He also talked about how his beloved mother Julia,who encouraged his music by teaching him to play the banjo,got hit and killed by a car driven by an off duty drunk cop when John was only 17 and just getting to have a realtionship with her after she had given him away to be raised by her older sister Mimi when he was 5.
And John also said,And in spite of all that,I still don’t have a hate-the-pigs attitude or hate-cops attitude.He then said, I think everybody’s human you know,but it was very hard for me at that time,and I really had a chip on my shoulder,and it still comes out now and then,because it’s a strange life to lead .He then said,But in general ah,I’ve got my own family now …I got Yoko and she made up for all that pain.
John’s psychologist Dr. Arthur Janov told Mojo Magazine in 2000( parts of this interview is on a great UK John Lennon fan site,You Are The Plastic Ono Band) that John had as much pain as he had ever seen in his life,and he was a psychologist for at least 18 years when John and Yoko saw him in 1970! He said John was a very dedicated patient. He also said that John left therapy too early though and that they opened him up,but didn’t get a chance to put him back together again and Dr. Janov told John he need to finish the therapy,he said because of the immigration services and he thought Nixon was after him,he said we have to get out of the country.John asked if he could send a therapist to Mexico with him,and Dr. Janov told him we can’t do that because they had too many patients to take care of,and he said they cut the therapy off just as it started really,and we were just getting going.’
Also Cynthia Lennon is quoted in the great John Lennon biography Lennon,by award winning music journalist and former editor of The Melody Maker Magazine and good friend of John’s for 18 years,Ray Coleman as saying somethings like she knew as soon as she saw John and Yoko together she knew that she lost him,and that it was a meeting of the minds and that she knew that they were right for each other.She also said that she told John before he started his relationship with Yoko that she sees and incedible similarity between him and Yoko and said to him that there is something about her that is just like you.She told him that he may say that she’s this crazy woman etc and that he’s not interested in her,but that she can see more into John’s future with Yoko then he can.
http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/07/27/why-are-women-devouring-fifty-shades-of-grey/
The above link is to a great 2012 article by Dr.Gail Dines called,Sadistic Romance Why Are Women Devouring Fifty Shades of Grey? where she talks about how much of the sex in it is as sadistic and cruel as in mainstream porn.
A 19 year old Muslim student of the University of illinois sexually tortured a young woman in a re-enactment of the Fifty shades of Grey movie!
http://www.answeringmuslims.com/2015/02/muslim-student-mohammad-hossain.html
Very sick and disturbing,this popular make up and beauty blogger posted on her instragram celebrate all things Fifty Shades of Grey with a picture of the actors playing Ana and Christian for Fifty Shades of Grey make up products by Make Up Forever!
https://instagram.com/p/wt86H0nOCz/?modal=true