Yesterday, Sydney man David Ould wrote to Australian underwear company Lovable.
He’d read my post on Lovable’s contradictory behaviour and felt he had to do something. It’s good to know there are men who care about the impact of unrealistic sexualised representations of women on the women they love. This is what David wrote:
Dear Lovable,
I’m a married man (almost 10 years) and father of 3 children (including a 6 year old girl who takes in everything she sees around her). I wanted to write to you today about your current advertising campaign featuring Jennifer Hawkins which, I would strongly suggest to you, runs entirely contrary to your stated claim on your website that you are “dedicated to changing the culture surrounding eating disorders and body image … by using happy, healthy models in our campaigns and promotional activities and by continuing to design intimates that are not created to objectify women’s bodies…”
I’ve got to be honest with you. I perceive a complete disconnect between those stated claims and the images of Hawkins that you are using. Specifically you should be aware that use of such images, which portray an almost impossibly “perfect” paradigm of the female body, do damage to three things that I, and I think many other men, hold very dear.
They communicate to my wife that her body is not good enough. By plastering Jennifer’s (no-doubt airbrushed) figure in front of her you’re not giving her something to aspire to but, rather, are telling her with almost sledgehammer subtlety that her body is not what it should be. Let’s be honest, she’s never going to look like Jennifer (which is ok in my book) but does terrible damage to her self-esteem and to that of countless women like her. The irony, of course, is that my wife is actually a beautiful women – its just that the brand values embedded in your images communicate the exact opposite. They hardly “support … the emotional needs of women” – quite the contrary.
They communicate to my daughter the very same message. But more than that, they are very overt in sexualising the issue of underwear. Now, I appreciate that some lingerie is intended for exactly this purpose but that’s not what you yourselves claim for this product line, is it? Rather, you state that you do not intend to “objectify women’s bodies”. Frankly, I have to ask, how does a picture of Jennifer with ice-cream or watermelon juice dripping down her (airbrushed) torso do anything but objectify her? And yet this is the message that you are sending to my daughter and countless other girls growing up in our culture: underwear = sex.
You are communicating to me, and so many other men like me, a completely unrealistic view of women. The images that you use set up a completely false expectation for us and, as a result, do great damage not only to ourselves but also to the women that we love. Sexual intimacy in such relationships is, all the psychologists will tell you, a key component of health and stability and is grounded, not least, in acceptance of one another as we are. But your images drive a wedge right in the middle of such relationships. They make women doubt themselves and, even worse, make men expect something that looks more like Barbie than any real woman. How can this possibly be a positive step towards good body image and related mental wellbeing for either party?
I trust you will take these comments on board as you review your current campaign. I look forward to your response to my specific points.
With kind regards
David Ould
“We strive to represent happy, healthy and realistic body images”: Lovable responds
Dear David and Jacquie [the letter was copied to David’s wife]
Thank you for contacting us at Lovable.
In regards to your specific points, 1 and 2:
We take a serious view of the way women are portrayed in the media and in particular in our campaigns. We are very aware of the impact the type of images and messages can have on people. We strive to represent happy, healthy and realistic body images that capture the essence of Lovable’s brand values of being confident and comfortable. We do not deny that the image has been slightly retouched for colour correction purposes, as is done by most advertisers.
We believe that a healthy body on the inside is the most important priority for all women. That includes your wife and daughter’s happiness, their comfort and the pride they take in who they are. We have put this into practice by ensuring that our Lovable range is available in a size range from 8 – 18 and it remains affordable for all Australian women. We have also purposefully chosen a range of women of different sizes to reflect this on our website, including our maternity models (size 14) and DD cup model (size 12). We will take on board your comments to reflect more body shapes in forthcoming online store activities.
Point 2
The creative was not developed to offend or to “objectify women’s bodies”, but use Lovable’s cheeky tone of voice to demonstrate the new Colour names for our advertised product via fun Props that remind the viewer of Summer, Lemon sorbet, Blueberry milkshake etc.
This was the intention of the creative agency, the Lovable team and our brand ambassador. Lovable sells products to Women only and hence the advertisement has been placed in shows and Magazines targeting women.
The Campaign has been received well in general by our consumers, but we understand that lingerie advertising does indeed cause issues, whether viewed on Billboards or Television. The Rating that Lovable was given by Commercials Advice Pty Ltd (CAD) commonly used for rating Television commercials was a G Rating.
Point 3:
Lovable are proud of The Butterfly Foundation‘s fantastic work in eating disorder research, awareness and prevention programs.
During September, 25% of profits from our online store will be donated directly to The Butterfly Foundation.
Kind regards,
JUSTINE VIOLANTE
MARKETING & PR MANAGER – WHOLESALE BRANDS
GAZAL PTY.LTD.
Dear Justine,
Many thanks for taking the time to respond. I wonder if I might point out to you, however, the worrying nature of what you wrote.
You write that you “strive to represent happy, healthy and realistic body images”. Can I ask you, do you honestly think that Jennifer’s body is a realistic image for most women?
You write that “[t]he creative was not developed to offend or to “objectify women’s bodies”, but use Lovable’s cheeky tone of voice to demonstrate the new Colour names for our advertised product via fun Props…” Can I ask you a serious question – do you actually think I’m stupid? I don’t mean this in a confrontational way but I had to ask. I ask because the images, (here they are again), are so blatantly sexualised (particularly the first 2, although Jennifer’s “come hither” eyes in the 3rd panel leave little to the imagination either) that only a few possible conclusions are open to me:
1. You honestly don’t think they are. Now, I seriously doubt this. You work in the field of marketing and public relations. You know very well what these images communicate. Do you need me, for example, to explain the blatant fellatial imagery of the first panel? Surely neither of us is going to continue that pretense? I don’t think you can be that bad at your job that you don’t get it. On the contrary, we both know that the images were chosen exactly for this reason.
2. You think I’m stupid, or at least terribly naïve. I look at the images. I see that they’re highly sexualised. I communicate that to you. But, nevertheless you write your stock answer which only serves to tell me that either you didn’t take what I wrote seriously or you ignored it anyway. Either way, your response is communicating to me that you think I’m stupid. Surely you would not treat someone this way?
3. (and I truly hope this is the case) You actually agree with what I’m writing but you’re in a terribly difficult position because you realise the obvious fact: there is a gross discongruity between the images and the stated aim of Lovable to “[change] the culture surrounding eating disorders and body image” and the donations made to the Butterfly Foundation. Again, in coming to this preferred conclusion I’m assuming that you’re intelligent and, furthermore, you have integrity – both intellectual and moral. If that is the case then can I make a suggestion to you? Resign. A principled resignation by someone responsible for communication at Lovable would be a noble thing to do. After all, they’re asking you to massively compromise your integrity by writing these sorts of emails to people like me. You don’t want to pretend that you can’t see these images for what they are. You surely don’t want to treat me as though I’m stupid. So, Justine, I’m left urging you to resign.
Since Lovable clearly doesn’t want to listen to those from the outside, perhaps they’ll listen to those on the inside? Seriously, Justine and Dianne – do you look at those images and think “realistic” and “not objectifying”? These people aren’t just insulting their customers. They’re insulting and demeaning you by making you write this nonsense to me.
Please, for the sake of my wife, my daughter, me, your customers and, not least, yourselves, will you please stop the nonsense and actually do something about this? And please, please, please, don’t send me another stock answer. Actually engage with the issues that I and so many others are raising with you.
Yours in all genuine sincerity,
David Ould
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40 Responses
I’m going to guess that Justine isn’t going to resign, but will remain hopeful that she might. Do you happen to know if David wrote to the Advertising Standards folk?
Great letters Davit!
I’m giving this to my husband to read on his path to hopefully thinking like you do.
I love it! I also noticed that a lot of their answer is exactly what Melinda got to her open letter.. personalised reponse my foot!
Thankyou so much David. It really helps to hear a man’s point of view. My boyfriend feels exactly the same way but it is very hard for him (as a 22 year old) to stand up and speak out without being afraid of ridicule from his peers. Reading David’s letter will really help. I hope it also helps women who didn’t think men felt this way. Many certainly do. And those who don’t may only need a wake up call. It isn’t their fault! Just as it is not women’s fault for judging other women and obsessing about looks. They force this upon us from childhood and drill it into us as teenagers. I’ll never forget a certain section I read in Naomi Wolf’s old book ‘The Beauty Myth’. It spoke of the great power a couple holds when they are absolutely devoted to each other WITHOUT the hinderance of beauty ideals.
oooh how I wish I could communicate my thoughts and feelings so well. Thank you David for putting down these words and giving these marketers a view that they have not been honest enough to hear.
I as a father i am frustrated at the relentless rubbish that my children are subjected to. I try to bring some reality to my childrens lives, David you have a clear view that is summed up so well, thank you.
I hope you are able to write to others and bring some more hope to our world.
Did Commercials Advice (CAD) REALLY give these ads a G rating? Obviously they did, as they appeared in my mailbox together with catalogues for toys that my kids love to look through.
It seems I need to start throwing out catalogues from Big W and Kmart and whoever else sells Lovable brand underwear if I want to protect my young children from these images. Alternatively, can someone hold CAD accountable for such errors of judgment? How does one do that?
Go David! Two fantastic letters. Unfortunately, Lovable’s response was so typical. I’ve often been tempted to question whether the female employees who write these responses can comfortably live with themselves knowing they’re part of the problem (and what a problem).
David, you’re a wonderful male role model for your daughter. Your presence in her life will go a long way to countering the negative body messages she sees around her as she grows. Bravo.
Great letter David. Keep it up! And what a pathetic response from Loveable.
I have sent my letter too, but it’s nowhere as eloquent as yours. I. hoping that if they get bombarded enough, they might actually stop and think about what they’re doing.
David, well done for taking on this frightful advertisement and for making your feelings known, I live in hope that more men will take up this cause!
In the meantime, until sleazy advertising campaigns become a footnote in social history (as I am convinced they will, what we are seeing is desperate marketeers pushing ever-more extreme images to push sales and counter in vain what they know is a deepening Western economic crisis), could informed women just stop buying from companies who advertise in this way? If profits aren’t forthcoming, companies will go out of business, problem solved. There’s no shortage of places to buy underwear, or anything else that women may feel they need.
Thank you David. It is such a relief to hear good men stand up for important causes.
i really like how david addresses Lovable’s staff as individuals with their own conscience and values… instead of blasting them as though they are all one big mind that is the company Lovable. if i was working in that position, having to pretend to *not* see certain innuendos in images promoted by this hypocrisy, his email would speak volumes to me.
Thanks David. It is so encouraging to see letters like this written. This is a huge area of heartache and grief for my fiancé and me, but it is so encouraging to see a man who loves his wife and kids, and who can see an ad campaign like this and recognise the hurt and mistrust that ads like this put into people. It really does drive a wedge into relationships.
Thanks for standing up and not just letting it slide.
Bravo David! An eloquent and well thought out letter and response – you’re my hero!
What a man!! Thanks for sharing the mission David!!
Well done David. Thank you so much for taking up the issue. I am a mother of two young daughters and i am fed up with the images they are confronted with on a daily basis. I wish we could organise some kind of protest march with men, women, boys, girls, brothers and sisters etc all sending the message that we are sick and tired of the overly sexualised, overly perfected images out there. Maybe a march on the Advertising Standards Bureau or whatever organisation sets the so-called standards for the type of advertising we are subjected to.
In addition to my comments earlier, here is the letter i have just emailed to Lovable……..
I am just writing in support of the letters sent to Justine Violante from David Ould. I totally agree with his views and totally dismiss the feeble attempt from Lovable to justify its marketing campaign. I am the mother of two daughters aged 11 and 14 and, like many parents, am sick and tired of the overly perfected and overly sexualised images that are used in advertising. I think it is absolutely disgraceful that you use such advertising and then have the audacity to pat yourselves on the back for supporting The Butterfly Foundation. How stupid do you think the consumer is? Well, this consumer is certainly not stupid and can see the hypocrisy a mile off. There’s no other word for it other than pathetic.
Jacqui Lamont
Thanks, David (and Melinda).
David, you are an absolute inspiration! Its so great to hear a man speak out about these issues. Thank you.
David… get a life, seriously
Ryan, I think the content of David’s letter proves that he actually already has one, and a quality one at that.
Fantastic, David! I aspire to one day be as articulate and inspiring as you are.
Dave – you’re a legend 🙂
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and let out a little snort of disbelief at the following part of her response:
“We have also purposefully chosen a range of women of different sizes to reflect this on our website, including our maternity models (size 14) and DD cup model (size 12).”
Yes, I have no doubt that ‘range’ of women has been VERY purposefully chosen. The fact that their ‘full-figure’ model is a (not so) full figured Size 12 would be laughable if it wasn’t so predictable. And gee… a size 14 maternity model. I guess they couldn’t find any size 14 (let alone size 16 or even 18) models who weren’t pregnant at the time.
You were totally right to call them on their hypocrisy Dave.
Thanks for speaking out melinda and colletive shout and david… what a powerful mix!!
Can’t wait to be in a world where responses like this are the norm in reaction to dodgy and degrading ads… then maybe companies will stop making them in the first place!
I would like to add my thanks and congratulations to David on such a wonderful, eloquent letter that really cuts through the BS and gets to the real heart of this issue. Well done, David – and thank you.
Well spoken! I´m impressed by people who influence like this. Brave and important. Thanks 🙂
good on you david for standing up and fighting for good things for your children. more men should be doing this!!! 🙂
tv shows and ads, adult magazines at kids level next to lollies in newsagents and petrol stations, so called kids provactive clothing.
Thank you so much for your letters David. As a sister in Christ, I am so thankful to God that my ‘brothers’ are not going to allow this treatment of women to continue. Thank you for treating us all with dignity and respect.
10% of life is what you get, 90% how you react, obviosly, your wife is jealous and so are your kids….I’d work on that…If you cant handle reality, try another planet….
David, I REALLY enjoyed your response to that tripe which Lovable used to fob off your first letter. Give ’em hell ! If you get a second reply from Lovable, PLEASE put it up straight away – I need a good laugh !!
Oh David….Thank you and may I say, what brilliance you come with!! You speak up for all of us women (and for some men as well I am sure) and in such an intelligent, mature and very eloquent way. I love people like you, who dare take on the ´giants´and stick up for what they believe in. Every single voice counts if we want to see change…. Thanks and go go go! 😉
Wow! How heartening to see a man getting involved and I love the no-nonsense letters. Well done David. I look forward to seeing the response.
@ Me sept 14th
reality?????
….oh dear…….let me say this slowly….
….. thats the point ……that you don’t get……
Hi David (and Melinda),
Not a bad letter – except I think you’re being much too harsh. I mean, when I look at those ads all I think of is summer, lemon sorbet and blueberry milkshakes.
Yours in supportive sarcasm,
Geoff
This is a great piece of writing David.
I totally agree with everything you mentioned in your two emails.
I’m going to guess that you probably won’t get another letter in response.
Good on you for making the effort to stand up and write in to Lovable.
Resign? No way. Change from within!
If she’s option “3” – a smart woman stuck between a rock and a hard place – then she might be the best person for conveying the message.
Don’t demand her resignation: encourage courage, resistance, and righteousness anger.
Hi David – Great letters!
I wrote briefly to Lovable to express my dissatisfaction of their response to your important complaint. I suppose it will be dismissed pretty easily, but after a thousand pinpricks, the skin tends to bleed.
May we be part of a loud voice that reminds our community that women are so much more than sexual facades.
Dear David,
Thank you so much for your letter. It is wonderful and encouraging to see a man take such a stand. I wish more men had such convictions and courage.
It is beautiful to see the true love and respect you obviously have for your wife and family (and for others too). May God richly bless you and your family throughout life and may you continue to stand for what is right regardless of the culture we live in.
Kind regards,
Sarah
I realise this is a small aditional point. But their ‘plus sized model’ is a size TWELVE? Have you looked at the website for the plus sizes (which, by the way, are woefully inadequate – I am a size 18 and I think there are about 2 bras that I could buy). Not that I’m saying that thin women shouldn’t be allowed in advertising, but having a stick figure modelling plus sized bras is just rubbing salt in the wound of their hypocrisy.
You are fantastic, I’m so glad to see that these letters are written by a man. Thankyou.