Meet Ethan. He’s 15 and a student at Knox Grammar School, Sydney.
Ethan did something no 15-year-old boys have ever done, in my years as a speaker. He heard me speak at the Justice Conference in Melbourne late last year and decided his fellow classmates needed to hear my message. So what did he do? He set up a meeting with the school principal to urge that I be invited to the school. And he succeeded in his efforts! Last month I addressed 1500 boys from Yr 7 to 12 through the day. Ethan and his friends also sold bottled water at the evening parent session to raise funds for the local domestic violence shelter.
Knox students, MTR, Kylie Virtue and Suzanne SpenceIt is experiences like this which give me heart. I wrote about some other positive encounters with young men for Christ Church Grammar School’s ‘Building Good Men’ blog and also had the privilege of addressing Yr 9-11 boys at CCGS in the West, March 21.
Photo: Ben Lim
Building good men by empowering boys to stand up to the mistreatment of girls
I believe we may be approaching a tipping point in transforming harmful cultural attitudes about masculinity contributing to inappropriate behavior towards women and girls.
As a speaker in schools all over the country – and with an increasing audience of young men – I am witnessing what happens when they are given the opportunity to see how the culture they live in socialises them to hold damaging attitudes toward women.
Three examples of encounters this year with young men that may illustrate this point.
During question time at the end of my address to Year 10 girls and boys at a New South Wales school, a female student read out a Facebook post by a male peer, filled with disparaging descriptions of female classmates. In the next session with the boys, I decided – without identifying the young man responsible – to read an extract from the post and share the girls’ distress. After the evening parent session, one of girls who had heard me earlier, approached me. She said that the young man was so impacted by my message he decided to take responsibility for his actions and personally apologised to the girls he had offended, saying he would never do it again.
Stephen, a 16-year-old male student at a public school in Tasmania, rose to his feet and challenged classmates who had exhibited disrespectful and inappropriate responses to some of my content, including that relating to violence against women. He told them the message was serious, and they needed to change. His tears and passion were met with a standing ovation.
At the end of 2017 I attended a Catholic youth festival at Homebush New South Wales, at which 5000 young people heard me speak on the harmful impacts of pornography. A 16-year-old boy, Braeden, rose to his feet. He said he wanted to apologise to every young woman who had ever been hurt by a man. He also received a rousing ovation.
Our young men can choose to reject cultural dictates and become young men of integrity.
The Pornification of Culture and Corporate Ethics
One Response
great to see, especially talking about social media problems. as a TAFE teacher of young men i see the problems they go though and occasionally talk to individuals who need help. i have long been thinking we need to educate boys at school to be good husbands and fathers. teach them how to be manly without resorting to any type of bad behaviour and be boys that girls can respect not fear. this is not anger management as most courses try to do this is how to be a strong man with out anger or bullying.